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Podchaser 
Run for your life!
Another vintage ScreamQueenz Episode has broken out of the Crypt and is heading your way!
And it's a MUSICAL!
This time, we're heading back to February 14, 2014, Episode #104 for the outrageous SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE 2.
You can expect:
- Killer Corn Dogs!
- Psycho Chickens!
- Pus Fountains!
- Conflicting Courtneys!
- Tokyo Convertibles!
- Hand Sandwiches
- A Rockabilly Driller Killer!
- A Hot Wet & Wild Time with guests ROBERT R. BEST & ALENA ACKER.
Hear Robert, Alena and Patrick discuss the original SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE on Spotify or on ScreamQueenz.com
SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE 2 is currently streaming on Prime, Tubi and Pluto
Written & directed by Deborah Block. Starring Crystal Bernard, Juliette Cummings, Heidi Kozak, Kimberly McArthur and Atanis Ilach
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
Patrick
Hello again my beautiful Screamerz, and welcome to another episode of ScreamQueenz Classics.That's the show where I take a vintage episode of ScreamQueenz, the podcast where horror gets gay, resurrected from the dead, and unleashing upon an unsuspecting world. Today we're going all the way back to February 16, 2014 episode 104 to talk about Slumber Party Massacre 2.And in order to do this properly, I was joined by author Robert Arbev and world famous actress Alena Acker. Now I can already hear Saint Patrick. You haven't re released the episode on Celebrity Party Massacre Part one? Well, hold on kids.Actually I already have. So here's the thing about these episodes of ScreamQueenz Classics. Way back in 2019, I decided eh, the library was getting a little bit full.It was getting a little hard to manage. So I took all the episodes that were created before 2017 and made them unavailable to the public.And both of these episodes in the Slumber Party Master and the slumber party master 2 are from that period. However, I re released the episode on the Slumber party massacre in 2020, so it's still available out there.So if you search through your ScreamQueenz library, it's already there. And don't worry if you're panicking, I'll put a link right down there in the show. Notes I love both movies equally for a totally different reason.The original has such a cool, unique vibe. Plus it's got all that wonderful lesbian undertones. Well, not undertones. Tones. Straight up tones that are just hiding there in plain sight.Which makes it a delight for the queer viewer. And while the Slumber Party Master doesn't have that, it is completely off the wall. Bonkers in the most unashamed way.Putting together genres that should not be together. A slasher movie, a teen comedy and a musical. What are you doing? And it manages to pull it off. And for that, I love it as well.Although you wouldn't know it from this particular conversation. I don't know what bug was up my butt when I recorded, but I am not as in favor of a slumber party master 2 as I am now.Let's chalk it up to the folly of youth, but right now this old queen thinks it's fabulous. And I think you will do. However, before we start the show, I just want to let you know I warned you.I warned you when I retired ScreamQueenz that if the mood was right and the wolf bane was blooming, that ScreamQueenz would once again rise and return for one special episode. And guess what, kids? It's time. But only if you're a Patreon subscriber.This Easter Sunday, an original episode of Original ScreamQueenz, the podcast where horror gets gay, will be coming out on the brand new film. Those. Those guys who did Death Drop Gorgeous a few years ago.I'll be talking about their new film, Saint Drogo, which is by far one of the most frightening queer horror films I have ever seen. And I can't wait to talk about it with you. But, Patrick, I'm not a Patreon subscriber!
Patrick
When do I get hto hear ? Okay, okay, hold on. I'm instituting a new policy. We have to work all this out with Patreon.But basically, the new rule is going to be, if you are a Patreon subscriber, not only will you get access to the current episodes of Damn You Uncle Lewis, the Friday the 13th The Series retrospective podcast, which also just went public. You know, those public episodes are great and I'm glad they're happening, but we just started season one.However, we're about to start season three in real time. Those episodes you're getting on the public feed, they're old. They're fabulous, but they're old.But if you want to be up to date, you need to be on Patreon, because we're going to start season three. You'll get access to those.Plus every new episode that I put out, whether it be ScreamQueenz or it came from the 70s, or another podcast that I'm planning behind the screens where I'm doing interviews with queer horror filmmakers, Patreon subscribers will get them a month before everybody else.So if you're dying to see Saint Drogo, if you're dying to hear about Saint Joe and you're not a Patreon subscriber, you're just gonna have to wait till next month. That's just the way it is. But the bonus is, if you're not a subscriber, that gives you time to order the Blu Ray.Because Saint Drogo is not yet streaming anywhere. It's not available for rental anywhere you can get it unless you buy it.And I know it's a big ask, but believe me when I tell you I will reiterate, this film is incredible. I will put the link down there in the show to take a look at the trailer. It is spooky as hell. It's got a sense of menace that you wouldn't believe.It's erotic, it's eerie, it's mysterious. It is pure horror that also braces the gay lifestyle in a way. That I haven't seen before. And I think it's absolutely incredible.I want you to be able to enjoy the episode without having to worry about me spoiling it. And the best way to do that is to watch the movie. It's only $20. Support independent queer horror filmmakers and go buy a copy of this. Now. Trust me.Have I ever led you wrong? I probably have. But trust me anyway. If you don't like it, you can beat me up. But don't beat me up now, because it's time to start the show.Let me set the time machine controls to February 2014 and play the trailer from Slumber Party Massacre to hello, my name's Patrick and I'm a scream queen. I'm a scream queen and so are you.
Patrick
Courtney Bates has got some weird friends.
Alena
I have got the fastest growing zit I've ever had in my entire life. I mean, look at this thing.
Patrick
I think your sweetheart's been taking too many diet pills.
Alena
Here's a chicken sandwich if you want a cup.
Patrick
She should have listened to her sister.
Alena
Don't Pickle all the win.
Patrick
Because when she and her band get ready to party, do anything you want to.
Alena
Good times on Slumber Party weekend.
Patrick
It's more than just a great time. I didn't know girls really did this stuff. It's slumber party massacre 2. Now it's time for the fun part.
Alena
He's in his house somewhere where it's.
Patrick
Nine o' clock and ready to rock. My motorcycle's at a hawk Jump on back it the whole long time.
Alena
Valerie, don't let go.
Patrick
Don't let go.
Alena
Long time. Why?
Patrick
I say because let's lumber Marty massacre 2. If you go, don't go all the way.
Alena
God. Anybody got any tranqs?
Patrick
Okay, so that was the trailer for the slumber party massacre 2.Now, those of you who remember last year, I think it was episode 72, perhaps, I covered the original Slumber Party Massacre, you know, to kick off Women in Horror Month, because, among many other things, February is Women in Horror Month. So what better movie to pick than something that celebrated not only feminism and lesbian pride, but, you know, the Slumber Party Massacre. Perfect.So we're following it up this year with a Slumber Party Massacre, too. And to make the whole thing full circle, I'll bring in all my guests from the first time around.So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, put your hands together for the one, the only. He's simply the best. Better than all the rest. He's Robert Arvest.
Robert
Hi.
Patrick
I think I know what music I picked to play underneath this. Maybe I just. Could it be.
Robert
Just come up with it just now?
Patrick
Could it be Tina, I totally just came up with that just now. All right.
Robert
Oh, all right.
Patrick
I realize you probably get that all the time, but you know what? It's the first time it occurred to me, so, like, bask, bask in my first time.
Robert
All right. I am. It's glorious. All right. Yes.
Patrick
All right, Ms. Acker. You better do better than this. That was a pretty sad entry. Shut up, you.I'm introducing Alena now to round out this happy already triangle of friends, ladies and gentlemen, the world famous actor, soon to be married, Miss Alena Acker.
Alena
Hello.
Patrick
Hey. How you doing, baby?
Alena
I am doing well. You know what my favorite thing about coming on your show is?
Patrick
What?
Alena
Is that I don't have to wear pants.
Patrick
It's actually required that you don't wear pants.
Alena
Yeah.
Patrick
Good. So you're all. We're all on board with that anyway. So you just felt that.
Alena
You felt that I knew. I knew instinctively. And, yes, I'm. I'm happy to be talking to you. Without wearing pants.
Patrick
Yeah,.
Robert
I go without pants. Well, sorry, Skype was screwing up. Am I okay?
Patrick
You're fine. Okay, well, Skype is fine. You've never been. Yes, but, yes,.
Robert
I go without pants whenever it's even remotely possible.
Patrick
It's chilly for that, though. Yeah.
Robert
Yeah, you're right. I was going to try to find out a way to make it make sense in the weather, but no, I.
Patrick
Seem to get hypoweeniethemia.
Alena
That would be awful.
Patrick
Which is something I just made up. Please go, Alena. Yes.
Alena
No. Have you guys seen. Somewhere in the depths of the Internet, there's, like, a Venn diagram, and it's two circles that don't intersect at all.And one of them says, times when I am truly happy. And the other one says, times.
Patrick
Times when I am wearing pants. Yes, I believe I saw you. I saw that when you shared that.That's one of those things that, you know, if it ever came up on the $25,000 pyramid, I'd be like, dig things Alena Acker would say. So, Robert, I hate to break it to you, I kind of leave the news anyway. You move too slow. Alena is betrothed to another.
Robert
Oh, that. That's right. See, I was all in. I was all talking about not wearing pants, and I forgot about everything else. Congratulations.
Alena
Thank you.
Patrick
And I believe she's also been murdered and murdering, like, every. She, like, owns the entire Discovery ID network now. She's on, like, every show I do,.
Alena
I am waiting for them to bring me my crown because I've been on four of their shows now. So I'm like, when you do, they announce my coronation as queen of Investigation Discovery Network.
Robert
Excellent.
Patrick
Yeah. What the. What was that?
Alena
Yeah, that was actually.
Robert
I know what it sounds like. Believe it or not.
Robert
Believe it or not, that was liquid being poured into something.
Patrick
Not Investigation Discovery Channel.
Robert
Pardon me. I did not realize my urination was going to.
Patrick
You realize. You realize, Robert, this is the second time you peed on my show.
Robert
I'm sitting here on the couch.
Patrick
Yeah, that's what you said last time you were on the phone and, like, you left your poor Laura on the phone. You went and peed and we all heard you.
Robert
That's right. But that's different.
Patrick
Yeah. Okay.
Robert
Because this time it just sounded remarkably like it, but it wasn't.
Patrick
Okay.
Robert
I need, like, a wireless headset for that. Well, that'd be nice.
Robert
Well, I need to be able to, guys.
Patrick
And that's our show for this week. Thank you very much for joining us in Women in Horror. And Robert, our best ping. I think the two are related.I don't know. Okay. So are we doing a show? Are we doing a show? Are we talking about a movie? What are we doing? I don't know.
Alena
Something.
Patrick
Yeah, so last year we all got together to talk about Slumber Party Massacre, and we had a pretty good time doing so if I may say so myself.
Alena
We did. This is absolutely true.
Patrick
Wow. That was a big, heavy pause. But I don't know if you guys know. It's one of my most downloaded shows and highest rated shows, so thank you for that.Top three. So, yeah, I figured I'd bring back the magic of the sequel. I don't even know where to start because this sequel is so off the fucking wall.
Alena
It is.
Robert
Yeah, it is.
Alena
I. So yeah, my.My first question, aside from, like, why are we just seeing random thighs and stuff in the opening credits, is like, why does Courtney suddenly have a Southern accent? Like she's suddenly from the South? What happened?
Patrick
Okay, let's backtrack a bit. Let's backtrack a bit. So do you two want to take turns just giving us the basic setup of the movie here? In a nutshell?Because I know it goes into weird all that pretty quickly, but just. Just lay it on a little bit. Ladies first. Yeah, start.
Robert
I want to see where you have something to build on. Okay.
Alena
All right, so. So the credits are happening.
Patrick
Basic plot based plot. Just like the basic summary of the Plot right now, we don't need, like details. We'll go into details in a bit.
Alena
Okay. All right, basic plot summary. Courtney is all grown up and she has a band with her friends.And she keeps having troubling dreams about this 1950s rocker guy who's super scary. And she goes with her friends to her friend's parents condo to have like a rehearsal weekend, bang a bunch of dudes.And then it's there that at the very end of the movie, the dude actually shows up and kills everyone really quickly. And that's my summary.
Patrick
That works for me.
Robert
Yeah, that was great.
Patrick
Okay, good. So now for those of you who are not super familiar with the original, Courtney is one of the survivors.There were three survivors and she was the little sister of the girl who actually kills off our killer. So not only has she grown up to be from Texas, she grew up to be Crystal Bernard from Wings.
Alena
Yes, that did happen. She grew up to be a completely different person than the one that's in the. In the first one.I mean, like a completely different character, which is kind of a bummer because Courtney's like the best character.
Patrick
Courtney was fucking awewsom. She was so fucking twisted. Well, I guess when you're only like a 19 year old playing a 14 year old eating a lollipop and a banana at the same.
Alena
Where do you go from there, really? What can you. Even.
Patrick
Your character arc is done. Yeah. So it's Crystal Bernard from Wings. And I think she. When I saw this, I knew her.Some Wings must have already been on when this came out, so she must have been thrilled. I don't know when they made this movie she was even on is.
Alena
I'll tell you what, they made it in the 80s because it is like the most 80s tastic movie ever.
Patrick
Yeah, it really is. It really is. Yes. So she's having nightmares about her sister who again, has grown up into a completely different person. And her.Because her sister, who this survivor, she's in the asylum and blah, blah, blah, that really goes nowhere. But she keeps having dreams of either this, you know, Andrew Dice Clay dude. Like Andrew Dice Clay meets Fonzie meets the Stray Cats. Very strange.
Robert
The Stray Cats. I was gonna make a stray Cats reference. Yes.
Patrick
But with a heavy metal guitar. But that's, you know, it's. He's just everything. He's everything to everybody. He's every man.
Alena
I like to refer to him as Danny Zuko, the killer.
Patrick
Danny Zuko. Well done. Okay. Yes. So we got Grease Two. Good. That was good. He did have his Arian Zmed Thing going on. That was Danny Zuko. Oh, no. Danny Zuko was Grease 1.
Alena
Yeah.
Patrick
I'm sorry, I don't know who I'm thinking. Never mind.
Alena
He's a little Travolta. He's a little like.
Patrick
He's a little. He's a little lot of things. Anyway, you're right. Like the whole opening was just thighs.
Alena
And some hair. Thighs and hair. Hair.
Patrick
Yeah. And it's weird because it's like this soft car. Erotic. Like, not really. Not even soft car.It's just like I'm having a nightmare in like this weird kind of marshmallow fluff bed and a negligee that I never like. Looks nothing like what I wear for the rest of the movie. Neither is my hair or my makeup. She's like, everything's made up. Like a slump.When she wakes up, she's the kind of girl who wears, you know those weird 80s suspender jeans.
Alena
Yep.
Patrick
With those suspenders that, like, they don't come out. They're not pullovers. Like, the suspenders start at the waist and they just give you camel toe. Yep.
Robert
Yep.
Patrick
She's that kind of girl. She's fine. She's from Texas. And her mom is just like, you must stay home all the time because of what happened. Yeah. And so this was fun.So she's having this argument with him. Not even her mother. She's just like bringing up to her mother that she wants to go away for the weekend. She's sitting in the kitchen.I don't know if it's breakfast, if it's lunch, or if it's dinner.
Robert
But a.
Patrick
The wallpaper was hideous. Yeah. Anybody took. And she apparently to be eating spaghetti. Go SpaghettiOs and milk.
Robert
I didn't even.
Alena
Wasn't she. Wasn't she eating like oranges for breakfast? And her mom's like, it's normal to have bad dreams after what happens. And she's like, I know, Mom.
Patrick
I know. My favorite colors are blush and bashful. I'd rather have a moment of something special than a lifetime. Steel Magnolias massacre too.That'd be brilliant.
Alena
Anyway, that would be.
Patrick
No. But then late. No, you're right.There's the breakfast scene where she goes off with her friends, but then later on when she actually convinced him, she's like. Appears to be. What? SpaghettiOs?
Alena
SpaghettiOs and milk.
Patrick
Hot dogs and milk.
Robert
You mean. You guys. Don't. I'm eating that right now.
Patrick
But it's just weird to see this. See this woman who's like 28 pretend to be a teenager that, like, I gave up when I was eight. It was milk. Because she's just that good of a girl.
Alena
She is.
Patrick
Even though she's in a band. And those band girls, they're always dangerous.
Alena
Yeah. Well, first of all, the drummer only bangs on one drum the whole time.Or at least, like, the drum roll at the end where any drummer would be hitting, like, everything in the kit. She's just, like, hitting the one drum. So, you know she's dangerous. Yeah.
Patrick
You know, she is dangerous. She is. She's like, I don't need these other drums now. That girl, I can't. Oh, gosh, what the heck is her name? Heidi Kozak. She's horror movie staple.She's always good for getting naked and dying, which she didn't do in this movie. She was in Friday the 13th Part 7. But we like her.
Alena
No, her. Like, her fake death before her real death was amazing.
Patrick
We are so ahead of ourselves and that. Okay. Because this whole movie is so fucking all over the place. Yeah. So I like. You know. But the thing is, what was weird.Not weird, but surprising for me, that when you actually hear her and her band, they're pretty good
Alena
Yeah.
Patrick
They had this whole Bangles sound to them.Not like Bangles when they got popular, but like early Bangles, like their first two albums, like this did this edgy New Age sound that I did not expect.
Alena
Yeah. It's pretty. Though, I do have a question for.
Robert
You,.
Alena
Which I hope I'm not just, like, you know, unworldly or whatever, but what is a Tokyo convertible?
Patrick
I don't. I was.
Robert
I've got that in my notes, too.
Patrick
I have it written down to I want to be. Again impressed that the girls were singing along in the car and were actually singing.
Courtney
Oh, I love the song. I want to be you're Tokyo convertible. I wanna have fun with you.
Courtney
I just love going through the motions. I just love going through the motions. Yeah,
Patrick
it sounded good. Looking dead. I'm like, wow, that never happens in these movies.It's always like, the worst dubbing. Okay, so the drumming was fake.
Alena
Through the motions. Yeah.
Patrick
Tokyo.
Robert
I looked up Tokyo Convertible and the only remotely appropriate link is another discussion of this film.
Patrick
So that's helpful.
Robert
It's a combination of words that no one has ever done before, apparently.
Patrick
I mean, I guess it's like, I don't know you. I want to be your Japanese car that you could take my top off. I don't know.
Alena
Oh, all right.
Patrick
I want to be small enough for you to easily maneuver me into parking lots and Take my top off.
Alena
Yeah, I'm with that metaphor. I can get behind that.
Robert
But don't go all the way.
Patrick
Don't go all the way. That is the message of the movie.
Alena
That is the message.
Patrick
Okay, that was the other thing that has changed. Because now in all this, she's from Texas, she's a completely different person. And now she's psychic. Yep.
Alena
Don't go all the way.
Patrick
All the way. Which turned out to not mean what you thought it was gonna mean, but you know what I mean? We're getting ahead of us.But anyway, she's got her friend Amy. What was her name? The blonde girl who I liked, who was the nice one. Yeah, yeah, you got the drummer who.
Alena
Was, I don't know, totally nuts and weird.
Patrick
Sally. But I liked her, too. Cause normally I can't stand Heidi Kozak because I just had this conversation on another show earlier.There are some actress know, whatever they have to play a sexy role. All of the lines are delivered like that. Is that sexy, Robert?
Robert
Yes.
Patrick
It's okay. I'm just. It's the Linnea Quigley School of Acting. I've never gotten it. She had it under control here, which is unusual.And the other girl, Juliet, I don't know of her name, but the redhead, she's also Friday the 13th alumni. And she was another horror movie staple. And she was always good for getting her tits out and dying, which she does. Yep, she sure does.
Alena
Did both of those things.
Patrick
Check and check and check, please. Yeah, so now she's like, she's the nice girl, but, you know, there's this boy that she likes. His name is Matt.
Alena
Yeah.
Patrick
And he has really big teeth and he uses a lot of moose.
Alena
Yep.
Patrick
And he's got this Permagrin.
Alena
Toothpaste commercial.
Patrick
Yeah. And is gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. Like, I'm sorry. Every time they showed up, like, you're so gay.
Alena
So true.
Patrick
And I don't mean, like seventh grade gay. We're like, oh, my God, you spoke it. No, this is an adult gay man looking at you, going, you're gay. There was that point she was on.
Patrick
The phone with him.
Patrick
And they cut to his bedroom, and I'm like, what fucking gay porn are you living in? Yeah, all the posters are like angles. And he's sitting there in his little teeny tiny bikini briefs, like, all posed on the bed.And it looks like it's lit like Miami Vice. I'm like, what the Is this pastel pink? What is going on? Yeah, I wrote down gay, gay, gay, gay. Gay bedroom. That look. This was never cool. Never.It was never cool ever. But still, she's the other court, the other tragedy of Courtney. She's chasing after a gay guy. Oh, well, you know what? That happens to a lot of girls.They should make more movies about that.
Alena
What's also interesting is when she's on the phone with him, she's, like, moving her legs around a lot.
Patrick
I didn't notice.
Alena
I don't know exactly what, you know, what's going on down there, but she is. I think she's getting a little bit. A little bit hot talking to him on the phone. Too bad she doesn't know that he has a, like, pastel pink bed and.
Patrick
A whole lot of short shorts. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, maybe she's got some chafing from, like, the. The tension that comes from wearing your suspenders. Jeans.
Alena
Maybe. Maybe it's the suspender jean.
Patrick
Never. I mean, I lived through the 80s. I don't recall anybody wearing them.I see them in movies, but I've never seen a girl wearing those pants, those suspenders that stop at your belly button.
Alena
I'm gonna need to get some just to, like, prove that it's possible.
Patrick
No, you don't. You really don't. You really don't. Oh, I forget at some point, too.She was like, courtney's running around, she's listening to the music so she can practice or whatever, and she whips out this, like, Walkman cassette player that was like, the size of a loaf of bread. I'm like, holy. It's running on, like, 16 D batteries. Last for 20 minutes. Oh, the other thing. You know this. There's so many things.This movie is very odd, but there's a lot of things that work as much as there is things that don't make sense. I kind of like the group of friends, her girlfriends. Because there weren't your standard horror movie girls that.Yeah, there was kind of the slutty one, but nobody was the.
Robert
Yeah, you're right.
Patrick
Nobody was super stupid. Because even Super Stupid Girlfriend wrote that catchy song.
Sally
I want a silver Caddy with a Landau top I want a sugar daddy with a candy shop I want a lot of things that our money can't buy but what I want most is a pie in the sky what I want most is a pie in the sky
Alena
yeah, it's true.
Robert
The one about her pie in the sky.
Alena
No, no, that one was amazing. That was an amazing song.
Patrick
Now, is my pie in the sky?
Alena
No, no, I think you're talking about the Song like that they played when they were practicing, right?
Patrick
No, I was talking about the one that sat there and wrote. Yes, she sat there and wrote it in front of her. She's like, I'm finishing it this weekend.
Alena
The funny thing is that, like, everything else in it was, like, something that you would really want, you know, like a caddy and, like, a cool guy and all this stuff. And then it's like, but what I want most is a pie in the sky. And you're like, what is a pie in the sky?
Patrick
That's a saying. That's a dream. That's like your pipe dream or whatever,.
Alena
I guess, but I think.
Patrick
Or it's a pie in the sky. I want a pie to be delivered to me by a drone. You know, like, they're talking about those delivering pizzas with drones now. I want my pizz.
Alena
It was. It was a prescient song. She was like, listen, hey, everybody. To deliver me pie.
Patrick
Why should Courtney be the only psychic?
Alena
All right, I'm with her now. I'm 100% with her. I want droids to deliver me pie. Like, I'm just putting that out there in case anyone has any droids in any pie lying around.
Patrick
Like, true, true.
Alena
Make it happen.
Patrick
Okay, this is a total. This is a total random thing, but in my neighborhood up the street, there's a bakery. It's called I Heart Pi
Robert
But much like.
Patrick
But hold on, hold on. It's PI, not pie. PI. So I'm like. I'm very confused. It's bakery piece. And then I found out that they love math.It turns out that it's the bakery wife's. The bakery owner's wife's name is Pi. I'm like, or do you love that tiger from the movie? There's so much happening at this bakery.
Alena
Thank God.
Patrick
Maybe it was about math. Maybe she's thinking about, like, wanting to see a big pie sign.
Alena
Exactly.
Patrick
And it's that 3.1, blah, blah, blah, in the sky.
Alena
3.1 For repeating. In the sky.
Patrick
Yeah.So Courtney finally lies to her friends, saying that, oh, you know, Sheila's parents are religious and they'll be home as she goes off to take off on her sexy slumber party weekend wearing the most dowdy as ugly, hideous blue fringe top. I'm like. And they get in the sexy station wagon to go. I'm like, oh, come on. Come on, girls.
Robert
No, really?
Patrick
You have slutty friends. Do they not tell you what to wear? You're in a band, for God's sake.
Robert
Yeah, it's true.
Patrick
You're ruining the whole look of the group with this fringe top.
Robert
everything about the movie. If you were to now make a spoof about something being like the ultimate 80s pastel colored train wreck thing.
Patrick
Yeah.
Robert
It would be hard to top just with this movie. Just naturally was.
Patrick
Yeah.
Robert
As far as the look of everything and everyone in it.
Patrick
I mean, if you tried to make that bedroom, you couldn't just. It wouldn't happen. It wouldn't happen.But I'm just going to take a moment here to pause because one of the things we keep saying is that this movie is weird because you're thinking, okay, it's the mo. It's a sequel to Slumber Party Massacre. What does it have to do with Slumber Party Massacre one?
Alena
Not much.
Patrick
Pretty much nothing. Except Courtney.
Robert
Yeah. There's something. Who's ostensibly supposed to be a character from the first film.
Alena
Yeah.
Patrick
Who brings nothing. None of those character traits. It really could have been about anybody. Yeah.
Alena
And the drill. The drill, I would say, is the only other that this. This person kills people with a.
Patrick
With a drill bit and girls sleeping in a group, not at home. That's it.
Alena
Maybe. And also just naked pillow fights, but.
Patrick
I don't recall a naked pillow fight in the first one.
Alena
True. But there were like, everyone did take
Alena
Off their tops off to put on their laundry or, you know, their 90s or whatever. I don't remember.
Patrick
But you know what?We're ahead of ourselves because I don't know what anybody was thinking when it comes to this movie because clearly this was at the height of Nightmare on Elm street, because that's kind of what they're trying to do.
Robert
Yeah.
Patrick
She keeps having dreams about this weird leather biker, stray cat strut, Andrew Dice Clay meets Fonzie guy who they really.
Robert
Thought was gonna be Freddy. I mean, you can really tell they really wanted to set up a Freddy, like, franchise.
Patrick
Absolutely. And it's just weird. Like, it does not work on. I like, I can't imagine looking at someone pitching this.I did say yes, that's exactly what's going to work. You know what?
Alena
He needs?
Patrick
A guitar with a drill.
Alena
Yeah.
Patrick
Guitar isn't enough. He needs to put both those things together. And I'm sorry, Alena. I thought at a certain point, I'm like, you know what? It'd be so much better.It was a keytar with a drill.
Alena
True, true, true, true, true.
Patrick
Alena plays a mean keytar. That's why I'm saying that.
Alena
Really do. I do indeed. I'm looking at my keytar right now it's sitting over there on its little keytar stand.
Patrick
Yeah. So it's all very strange is all this Nightmare on Elm street stuff. She keeps having visions and seeing weird things.And then literally, as Alena says in the Last Time, and it's like, ah, let's kill everybody with a drill.
Robert
Yeah.
Alena
And sing while we're doing it.
Patrick
Because while we're doing it makes it better. Yeah, yeah, right. He's gonna be Freddy. But you know what's gonna make him different? It musical numbers.
Alena
I will dismember you. Will you dismember me?
Patrick
Like a drill tip. Right. Round, round, round.
Alena
Oh, my goodness.
Patrick
So now we're in the car. We're back to the movie. We're in the car and we. It's also Fun to watch 28 year old actresses pretending to be high school actresses.High school girls who find a dirty book. Hot, Wet and Wild.
Sally
Tj, come on, give it back.
TJ
What is this shit? If your mother knew. His burning lips seared her rose of a mouth while his pulsating tool drove deep into the confines.
Patrick
Hot, Wet and Wild.Which is like a major plot point.
Robert
And she says she found it in her brother's room, I think. Which is a little odd for her brother to be reading that. Unless maybe her brother, like what's her name's boyfriend is maybe Also.
Patrick
What's wrong with Hot, Wet and Wild? It sounded very sexy. There's lots of heaving bosoms. Yeah.
Robert
Throbbing members.
Patrick
Engorged throbbing members, no less.
Alena
Yeah. Doesn't that sound like something a lay day would read?
Patrick
Who?
Alena
A lady. Like, why does the brother have it? Unless, as Robert was saying, he's a little gay.
Patrick
No, I'm just saying it was an erotic novel. I mean, it makes total sense for me. Okay, you know what the gay person is saying? There's no problem with it.The two straight people have a problem with it, so maybe there is a problem with it. Oh, by the way, Alena, just so you know, Hot, Wet and Wild is coincidentally the name of Robert's new book.
Alena
It is?
Patrick
Oh, yes, as a matter of fact.
Alena
Amazing. I can't wait to read it.
Patrick
Actually, it's called Hot, Wet and Wild Memorial. Just to keep it with the whole.
Robert
Yeah, it's got to fit the trilogy series. It's spin off.
Patrick
Yes.
Robert
Happens in an alternate universe where instead of zombies, it's a sex maniac virus. Kind of like the Nude Bomb. Remember the Nude Bomb?
Patrick
I do remember that. The Get Smart movie. Oh my God. I can't believe he just brought up the Nude Bomb. A movie that was completely not funny when I was 10.
Robert
Yep.
Patrick
But you know what is funny? A movie that somebody actually sat down and wrote the line, wow, these corn dogs are killer.
Amy
These are killer corn dogs. Oh, my God.
Patrick
They're eating. They're drinking champagne and eating corn dogs.
Alena
Like, where did they get the corn dogs? And how were the corn dogs cooked correctly?
Patrick
I don't know. Who came together with killer. This is some killer corn dogs.
Alena
These are killer corn dogs.
Patrick
Coincidentally, that is the name of Alena's next episode on Red Rum.
Alena
Killer corn dogs.
Patrick
On Discovery ID
Alena
She thought she was going out for a day at the carnival. Little did she know the corn dog killer would be on his way. Yeah,.
Patrick
Yeah, yeah. Because that's what girls love. So. Yeah. And I, I, I texted Alena at some point because she asked, you know, oh, when are we getting together?And I had been watching it at the time. I watched it a long time ago. And I really kind of wish I hadn't because it faded a bit. But, like, yeah, we're meeting at 7. I'm watching it right now.They're eating corn dogs and supporting each other with champagne. Oh, now they're jumping up and down, having a pillow fight topless. You girls, like all girls do all the time.Like, in the first one, Alena was very kind to note how, you know, how girls in the locker room are just standing around talking about each other's boobs.
Alena
That's all we do all the time. Oh, we do.
Patrick
And now when you eat corn dogs topless, you jump around, hit each other with pillows, clothes.
Alena
Yeah, it's. I mean, what other logical choice would there be for an activity? Like, if you're eating corn dogs, you're gonna take your shirt off.If you take your shirt off, you're gonna have a pillow fight. Like, I don't see how else things could go down.
Patrick
And, you know, with the champagne, you gotta have a little wet T shirt contest. And even though one of you takes her top off, guess who? The one who's required by contract to take her tits out in every movie.It was weird about that. She was topless, but her skirt was like a secretarial skirt. I'm like, I don't understand what's happening. Morning.
Alena
My favorite moment with her and her boobs out is when another girl is like, what are you, chicken? And she goes like, bark ba bawk. But with her boobs. Like, she does, like a chicken dance with her boobs.
Patrick
She's like, you, girl. Like girls do all the time.
Alena
Like, like we do.
Patrick
Well, and it all is brought back. This. All this kind of happened. Coins. You know, things coincided at the same time.Because I was watching this other movie, Cheerleader Massacre Part two.
Robert
Yes.
Patrick
And I had not seen. I had. I had not seen that beforehand.
Robert
No, I haven't.
Patrick
But I'm not seeing Cheerleader Massacre 1. I was very concerned about not knowing what's going on. But what I learned, Alena, is this.Because in this movie, in the first 15 minutes, there are four completely different shower scenes. And I realized that girls. I have a lot more respect for them now because I had no idea that boobs could get as dirty as they do.Because these girls are in the shower and they just wash them, and they wash them and they're sudsing and they rinse and they. They just never seem to get clean.
Alena
It's true.
Patrick
I have no idea.
Alena
Like, three times, at least. Minimum.
Patrick
Minimum.
Robert
I guess all the dirt, like, it falls off your head, kind of rolls down your shoulders and collects right there.
Patrick
Yeah. Like frosting. Gross.
Alena
It does. I mean, well, and what happens if you have a lot of cleavage is, like, when you eat food, sometimes food falls into your cleavage.
Patrick
So then you get bugs. It's bad, right?
Alena
Yeah.
Patrick
I was exhausted watching these poor girls. This is only 15 minutes in. Very strange. This annoyed me before this whole thing kicked off. What kicked off?This mania, you know, escalating from corn dogs and champagne into pillow fighting with boobs out, was they looked at the TV like, oh, my God, it's rock and Roll High School, which I love. I love that movie. It's the Ramones. It's PJ Soles. It's a great movie. And then the music started, like, this isn't the Ramones.
Alena
That is not rock and roll high school
Patrick
This is not. Why did you even show me rock and roll High school. Get me all excited for Ramones,.
Alena
And.
Patrick
Then it doesn't happen. And this was. I noticed. Did you notice that she took her top off and was dancing with the lamp?
Alena
Yes.
Patrick
I wrote down. Honey, it's lap dancing. Not lamp dancing
Robert
Thank you. He's here all week. Oh, waitresses. What?
Patrick
And a lap dance is not a tab either. Alena, that's just for you.
Alena
Yeah, no, no, absolutely. I definitely thought of. Oh, no. She said a lap dance.
Patrick
That's a reference to Alena's show that you just don't understand, Robert.
Robert
No, no.
Patrick
But it was weird when they go. When the guys. When the other guys showed up.
Alena
Yeah.
Patrick
For a minute I thought, I'm like, these are like the same dweebs from the first movie.
Alena
They're huge. Dweebs. Like, I do not understand why these girls are so into them. Like, the one girl is just, like, banging her boyfriend nonstop.And I'm like, he's such a dork. Like, since when is he. I mean, I guess maybe, like, it's good to spread the love and everything, but I'm like, since when is that?
Patrick
She could do better than that.
Alena
She could.
Patrick
She. She was way above him in league. Plus, she had money. Yeah, she was the rich one. I'm like, you could do a lot better than him.Unless it pissed off her parents. That's my only explanation. Get dead angry.
Alena
There you go. Maybe that's it.
Patrick
And it was about here I realized, okay, so the first movie, as we said, was, you know, feminist, had a lot of lesbian, strong lesbian overtones.I was written from a female perspective, and a lot of the scenes in it were like, this is kind of more female fantasy about females than heterosexual male. But I'm like, this one? Yeah, this is all about the boys. This. This is written for the boys. The girls don't mean we're stupid.We take our tops off a lot. We make music Sick. We drive. We apparently buy all the booze, whatever.
Alena
And we. And our biggest insult is that everything is so weird. Like, Courtney, you're so weird. You guys are so weird.
Patrick
Like, you're weird. You keep drinking Slice.
Robert
Oh, I wrote down Slice.
Patrick
I remember Slice.
Robert
I drank it briefly.
Patrick
Well, evidently, the Slumber Party Massacre part two was brought to you by Pepsi products because they were plugging them all over the place.
Robert
Yes, I remember Slice. It wasn't that bad.
Patrick
It wasn't that bad. But when she said slice and she said, it's a Do you. Haven't it Slice. I was like, what? A slice of pie, perhaps. Pie in the sky. Oh, there it is.
Alena
A little slice of Pepsi.
Patrick
There it is. I got it. Gross.
Alena
I hate to be so bold as to correct you, Patrick, but they did not, in fact, buy all the booze. They found it in the booze closet.
Courtney
What are you doing?
Sheila
Some people have wine cellars. My dad has a Booze closet.
Patrick
Bingo.
Robert
Yes, some people seller. My dad has a booze closet. And then immediately after that, we discover that his booze closet is full of champagne, which is odd.
Alena
That is weird.
Robert
Well, unless I think I'm seeing a theme develop here, all the males in this movie are not stereotypically heterosexual.
Patrick
Spit it out, honey.
Robert
Hetero, sexual.
Patrick
I don't know. I don't know. That one dude, I guess the redhead's boyfriend, the one that she was.But Yeah, I guess the one who's bang reminded me of the guy who's on. Oh, what's that show? Oh, great. Wonderful Workaholics.
Robert
Oh, yeah.
Patrick
On Comedy Central. That's your workaholics. He just had the same kind of look and the same kind of. I'm just the jerk.I pushed you in the pool, even though clearly you don't want to go in the pool. Here's something that I thought was weird about this movie that it didn't really occur to me till halfway through.There's a lot of direct to camera talking. People were talking directly to the camera like it was a character. I'm like, huh. That's very off putting. Yes.
Robert
There were scenes where people were staring dead into the camera.
Patrick
Huh. And I'm just like, I'm not wearing pants. Please look somewhere else.I'm uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as getting a hand sandwich at poolside.
Alena
Oh, my God. And so that's the thing is, like, all through this experience, Courtney keeps, like hallucinating all of these terrible things.Like the hand sandwich.
Robert
Yeah.
Amy
What's wrong?
Courtney
My burger's weird.
Patrick
Literally, it's a hand sandwich. I wish they had said, oh, she's like, what kind of sandwiches? This be like ham sandwich.
Alena
They should have missed opportunity.
Patrick
There's a quote. There's a Crispin Glover movie. I forget what it's called, but they used on Chiller, they used to show a clip of it all the time.And he was holding a hand goes, anybody wanna hand sandwich? That's exactly what I wrote down. Anybody want a hand sandwich? It. Yeah. Okay, wait. Oh, this is the summer fun montage.Yeah, like splashing at the pool and washing the car. I'm like, you. You guys came up. Wash your station wagon. Okay. But you know, it's all leading up to the big fridge chicken attack.
Alena
Something in the refrigerator attacked you. Yeah, I know it sounds totally stupid, but it looked just like a chicken.
Patrick
It was somebody's job to make a killer chicken puppet. That was somebody's job.
Robert
Well, you know, blood chicken attacks are no joke.
Patrick
Definitely not. I suppose that. I mean, I don't know how many people. People are killed by chickens in their own fridge.
Alena
So thanks for saving me from the crazed chicken. I'm quitting everything to become a chicken killer chicken puppet maker. I think that's my new calling.
Patrick
Well, hey, I mean, there's already been poultrygeist. Maybe there'll be a poultrygeist 2.
Alena
Maybe, huh? Chance to get my foot in the door. Or your chicken puppetry.
Patrick
Your chicken foot in the door. Yeah. Courtney goes, like, at certain point, I'm just like, would somebody just take her home? Yeah, she's been flipping. She's ruining everything.There comes a certain point where after the third or fourth nervous breakdown, it's time to go home. It's like that person, when you have a party, the person that throws up and stays. Yeah, you need to go. You need to go.So, yeah, she gets attacked by chicken, a whole chicken.
Alena
It flies out of the fridge and attacks her.
Patrick
It's little neck smacking her in the face.
Alena
It's a wonderful scene.
Patrick
And then. And then there's the scene And like she keeps asking, like, well, I don't know what's the matter with me.I just keep having these terrible dreams. And the drummer girl just repeals like, yeah, I totally understand. Like, I keep breaking out. I've got the worst acne.
Alena
Like, my zits are multiplying everywhere. I'm totally as distressed as you are.
Patrick
I totally understand that you're losing your mind, but I have facial problems as it come out of you. Nobody can see it. But of course, that's got a big payoff later. One of her nightmare scenes, which. Alena, you nailed it earlier.You brought it up earlier.
Alena
Which one?
Patrick
Oh, yes, yes.
Alena
Oh, my favorite scene. I guess I'm spoiling my favorite thing, but yes.So this is after Courtney is taking a bath and then she starts to see like blood coming and gushing out of the tap. And she's like, ah. So she gets her friend with the zits to come up and take a look.And then her friend starts talking about her zits and she just hallucinates that she is. That her face is turning into this insanely giant. And then it just pops and spreads. It's like pus juice. It just sprays out everywhere for her.And Courtney runs away screaming, uh huh.
Sally
Courtney, what is the matter with you?
Sally
Hey, are you on drugs or something?
Courtney
Oh, God, I wish I was, Sally.I mean, so many weird things are happening to me.
Sally
Hey, hey, I know what you mean. The weirdest things are happening to my face.I mean, I have got the fastest growing zit I have ever had in my entire life. I mean, look at me. This thing, I mean, it's just the grossest thing you've ever seen. I could go get some more oxy 10.I mean, it hurts like hell...
Courtney
Sally,.
Patrick
Which was amazing. And it had nothing to do with anything.
Alena
Not at all, nothing.
Patrick
Because I could see if this, when this guy finally showed up, that they're dying like these imaginative deaths, but it's just a drill. Yeah, just a drill. But, you know, still.But it was kind of a letdown, but still, the fact that that scene exists is an amazing thing because after that, that girl's missing. They're like, we don't know where the drummer girl is. And they call the police. And the police show up and oh, my God. Oh, my God.First of all, we had Officer Mullet and Officer. I wrote down Officer Community Theater Stage Comedy. Because know, he was just so big and so broad and everything was delivered like.I'm like, dude, bring it down.
Robert
My favorite part of that was when he said it. It apparently cost $200 of tax money to show up and mock some kids.
Patrick
Yeah.
Alena
He's like, you wasted about $200 of taxpayer money. You didn't do anything wrong. My favorite moment in that scene.
Patrick
Yes. It must be very hard policing this community with nobody in it.
Alena
My favorite is when one of them's like, let's go. They're holding our booth at Denny's. That was a. I thought that was a nice.
Patrick
This is actually what I noticed, that they were trying to be clever and give people names, like last names. Like Courtney's last name was Kruger. The girls whose house they were at they were staying at the Cravens.And somebody was Officer Bates. Aren't they witty?
Alena
Sneaky.
Patrick
Aren't they witty? But luckily, finally, finally, finally Matt shows up to save the day. Super gay guy.
Alena
Super gay shows up to save the day.
Patrick
Because in. In addition to this being the slumber party rehearsal, all the boys weekend, it's also Courtney's birthday.
Alena
Oh.
Patrick
So they have this really cute scene. Like everybody else goes out to get food, presumably at Denny's with the police officers. I don't know. But.So they're left in the house alone so you could take care of her and make her feel better. And he brings her a cake in bed and it's just like Sixteen Candles. THey're sitting...
Driller Killer
(Internet drops out) You know you want it.
Courtney
You killed Valerie.
Driller Killer
Valerie. Oh, I've had Valerie. I'm tired of Valerie. I just want to make love to you. I am you and you are me until we go all the way. Hey, baby.Love the one you're with. Love the one you're with..
Robert
Hello.
Patrick
My Internet done blew up.
Alena
Oh, no.
Patrick
What the hell happened? Too much.
Robert
The NSA heard what you were about to say because I assume you're on like a five second delay because you know you're far too risky to just be flipping fully live. But the NSA heard it and they. They cut you off.
Patrick
Yeah. Let's go. With that, it was like the. The least offensive thing I was going to say because. Okay, so where were we?We're on the bed with Matt and Courtney and the cake that's lit with about 85, 000 candles.
Robert
Yeah, I know what I'm saying. So let's light that. Let's take a tiny cake, just set it completely on fire, and then put that on the bed.
Patrick
Yes. And they actually went so far to almost quote 16 candles.
Matt
Happy birthday, Courtney. No, I'd sing happy birthday too if my singing would gross you out.
Courtney
It's beautiful.
Courtney
Thank you.
Matt
Gotta take a big breath.
Courtney
No. I'm just gonna look at it for a while. It's too pretty.
Matt
Aren't you gonna make a wish?
Courtney
I've already got my wish.
Robert
I noticed that.
Patrick
Yeah, you noticed that too. He was like, yeah, why don't you make your wish? And she's like, well, it already seems to be coming true right now. Which is almost exactly.Yeah, it came true. All I need was the Thompson twins underneath of it. But of course, the scene is so long. I'm like, get the cake of the bed.You're gonna burn out the house.
Alena
Yeah, she. Yeah, she's like, I just want to look at it forever. And I'm like, you're getting wax on that cake. Don't you want to eat the cake?
Patrick
I know. That's what I'm thinking too. Again, like, apparently there's ever burning candles. They never burn out. They never go down.And the thing is, they start doing it. They start kissing and smooching. The other people come home and I don't know, have like this like completely acid based bandjam.I don't know what the was going on. There's something like incredibly loud so they don't hear what's going on.
Robert
It was a no, A no no wave song. Do you remember that trend from the 80s?
Patrick
No wave.
Robert
No wave. Yeah.
Patrick
No, never mind.
Robert
It was a thing basically that the early 80s grew out of the punk scene.
Patrick
Okay. So basically what. What my nieces and nephews would do if you threw musical equipment in front of them, just bang it around and fright.
Robert
Yes.
Patrick
Hot. Okay. God damn it. I could have been a star. But yeah. So they're doing it upstairs.They're doing it and you're wondering, is she going to go all the way? That's what most people are thinking. I'm thinking the cake is still lit because it was. They're doing this by cake.
Robert
Like, yeah.
Alena
Asking for trouble.
Patrick
Now, I've heard of romantic things before, but the cake is still on the bed. The killer guy shows up, drills Mr. Drilling man as. As. As Alena called the kill on the first one. Mr. Drilling man shows up, kills Mr.Gay Matt with the drill through the back, comes at his chest, and it goes and throws him across the room into the cake. Cake still lit. It's still lit. After all this, the cake does not go out. I'm like, this is some serious ass cake. That is.
Alena
Those are some serious cake candles, I'll tell you that. They might be those trick candles that like, you try to blow them out and they just keep on going.
Patrick
Wacky candles, as I like to call them. Like, oh, but it's a party now. It won't blow out. Oh my goodness.
Alena
But, but yeah. So she's like, I've never. And then the killer goes, gone all the way,
Courtney
Matt.I've never...
Driller Killer
Gone all the way? Come on, baby. Rock and roll.
Alena
Oh, you're only a dream! You're a dream.
Driller Killer
Does this Look like a dream to you.
Driller Killer
Come on, baby.We go to rock and roll. It's just you and me, Courtney.
Patrick
And actually this was surprisingly gross because when the killing actually starts, it's pretty gross.Yeah, in the first one, a lot of it was off camera, but this had some pretty decent special effects, despite the fact I didn't understand this guy at all. Like, why, why, why, why, why this guy?
Robert
Where did he come from even?
Patrick
I don't know.
Robert
I don't know.
Alena
He came from the 1950s. That's.
Robert
Well, yes, that's true.
Patrick
His guitar did not, though his fringe did not either. He had some serious fringe, like serious TJ Hooker fringe fringe. I don't know why it's TJ Hooker fringe. I just decided that right now. Anyway.But did you catch this in the beginning when she's having a flashback to the original events, they show the coach getting the thing. They cut to that scene under the couch where the original Courtney was. Was hiding under the couch and then tripped the killer.Except now it's this Courtney and they showed this guy's boots because he does this little dance turn. Yeah.
Robert
So it's almost like they're retconning the first film to match this or not.
Patrick
Or like this is like. I don't know. Whatever. Let's not overanalyze. But I'm just like, I don't remember the killer doing that cool dance boot.
Robert
Of the franchise.
Patrick
in steel toed boots.
Patrick
Yes. If we made a musical, the first one, this is what the killer would look like.
Robert
Okay.
Patrick
But they did. And I wrote down Mr. Content and I don't know why he's Content.
Robert
That's why.
Patrick
Well, Mr. Content was what we call the neighbor in the first guy. And something reminded me of Mr. Content.
Alena
Oh, yeah, that was.
Robert
That actually was his name.
Alena
Mr. Content.
Patrick
I'm just hunting snails. I'm sorry if I scared you.
Robert
You.
Patrick
This is the thing that got me with this part because he's showing up and he's chasing, you know, she comes running downstairs with blood all over her and they're like, oh my God, what happened? Like he's dead. He's. Then they bang. The guy's down. He's down the stairs. The real dude with the real guitar and he's killing everybody.This is really happening for real.And I'm going, how up it must be to be the other people in this movie, like these characters to be having a relatively normal night and this totally impossible thing happens.
Robert
Yeah.
Patrick
To be running away from this guy because, you know, they. They try to get away and people running through the streets and he drills them in the car and he drills them in a garage.I'm just thinking this is how my life ends. Like I'm waiting for the kind of camera guy to pop out because this is absurd. What an absurd way to die. There's some kind of tragedy in there.Not like this cat that is completely making noise to get out of his bedroom. Excuse me. Talk amongst yourselves while I deal with Kitty.
Alena
Oh my goodness.
Robert
Oh, he actually is. He's getting up to tend to his cat. Oh, not unlike a loving father.
Alena
Indeed. Indeed.
Robert
I think we can all learn a lesson from Patrick.
Patrick
Okay, I'm. I'm back now.
Alena
Of compassion.
Patrick
Yeah, I don't want to know what was happening. Well, you know what? If they had had a cat, none of this would have happened. I don't know. That's true.
Robert
There. There wasn't a cat in this movie because the cat would have jumped out of something and the music would have told them that something was wrong.
Patrick
Wrong. Yes. But you know what it did have? It did have a killer who was breakdancing.
Alena
That's true.
Patrick
Because when he comes back, like he goes and chases them around the neighborhood. He kills one, kills another one, kills another one. And he gets the red haired titty girl back and is chasing her through the house.But he's not just content just to kill her. No. Now we're going to have the full on musical number.
Alena
He's like, here comes the fun part part.
Patrick
Yeah. Now
Driller Killer
it's time for the fun part. Roll. Well, I'm an inch off the ground. The speaker's all around Baby, baby, do you like my sound?And indeed it was again, I'm trying to imagine being that person being like, okay, okay, this. This is the. This. He's singing, he's dancing, he's got a drill. That's a guitar guitar. Not a key tar. A guitar Penthouse.And I'm waiting for him to finish so he can kill me. Yeah.
Robert
And somehow when you think about it, producing an entire band sound, wasn't he. I mean, it wasn't just a guitar noise playing.
Alena
No, it was definitely.
Patrick
He had lighting and smoke effects too. Yeah, he did. He had everything.
Robert
Now I'm wondering if we'd have like a joke and then we cut to what's actually happening and the killer's just kind of flailing around with this guitar that's not making any noise at all.
Patrick
Well, it didn't have. I don't know if you noticed, it didn't have any strings.
Robert
Oh, this movie.
Patrick
That's what made me think of the keytar. I'm like, had this been a keytar, you would have completely, you know, gone past this whole problem.Because I was looking at the damn thing like, if this was an actual guitar, that thing would weigh about 185 pounds.
Alena
Yeah, true. It was a pretty cool looking guitar though. I would play that guitar. I would not drill people to death.
Patrick
Thank you. I was gonna. You say that now.
Robert
Now.
Patrick
You say that now. But once he had. He'd be like, you know what? Let me just try it.
Robert
Yeah, see, that's how it starts.
Patrick
Just a little bit.
Robert
That's why drill guitars had to be be banned.
Patrick
Banned.
Robert
Brady Bill.
Patrick
And again, apparently it was running on solar power. Was no chord, nothing. It just was. But you know what? He came out of a dream. Whatever. It's all good.
Robert
Yeah, see, that's. Is he supposed to be. Well, I don't want to give away the ending because the ending just.
Patrick
Oh, come on.
Robert
Well, I mean, the ending almost implies that none of this happened at all. May kind of sort of, who the hell knows what's going on. But ignoring that for the time. Time being. Is he just supposed to have like her. Her madness?Like once she had sex, her madness took shape and left.
Patrick
She didn't though. She was going to.
Robert
She was going to and didn't.
Patrick
Yeah, yeah. He was like a complete block.
Robert
Yeah.
Patrick
You know what? He's like. He's gay. I'm gonna say you this. Trust me, you'll be thanking me about this later. He's so gay. Like, not just a little gay. Huge gay.
Alena
Super gay. Super Gay.
Patrick
Not that there's anything wrong with that, but you know what? You've had enough problems, Courtney. No, but go back to your banana and your lollipop and your play, girl. You'll be fine.And beating off boys in the third grade. That's right. The thing is, I was watching it and I'm thinking about you guys watching it.Think about Alena watching it, who had no idea what she was in for, really. And I'm going, wow. In my head, this movie was a lot more entertaining than it actually is. But.
Alena
Well, I mean, there is a little. There is a little ambiguity there at the end. Like.
Patrick
Yeah, I don't know.
Alena
I was. I was entertained for sure.
Robert
Well, yeah, I mean, it was entertaining just for how bizarre it was.
Patrick
It's such a weird fucking movie. Movie. It's an. Evidently the blonde girl in it, her. Her normal friend is happy to talk to anybody about it. Like she'll.She's a comedian and like, will rail on this movie to no end. And I was trying to get a hold of her, but I didn't. She didn't get back to me in time. Who knows? Maybe.
Alena
Oh, bummer.
Patrick
What was anybody thinking?
Alena
Yeah, seriously, what anybody thinking, like, looking.
Patrick
At the dailies going, yeah, this is awesome. Awesome.
Alena
This is gonna be great.
Patrick
People are gonna be.
Robert
Well, it had the Freddy lighting. I don't know. Is this one of those movies that went through about 85 drafts, the script, and this is what finally came out at the end.
Patrick
Yeah.
Robert
Because it's kind of like it wants to be Nightmare on Elm street down to the fact where you're not even sure if anything is actually happening or not.
Patrick
Yeah.
Robert
But it never really. Well, goes all the way in on that.
Alena
Bringing it full circ.
Patrick
Wow. And yeah, you. You get the Pulitzer Prize for podcasting.
Robert
The Pulitzer Prize. I don't know. I was trying to make that sound.
Alena
That sounds.
Patrick
I. That's. I don't want to. Nothing. I sat there and it was over. And I just kept sitting there going, this happened. And there was another sequel as well.
Robert
Yeah. Which that. I don't. Because I noticed at the beginning that she was having flashbacks to things or what, premonitions.Yeah, premonitions about things that hadn't happened yet.
Patrick
Yeah. So she was having nightmares. In nightmares. And this whole thing was a dream of her being in the asylum, I guess.
Robert
Yeah.
Patrick
Or not. Who knows? Cuz you know what? When she woke up in the asylum, she had that whore makeup. And again.
Alena
Yeah.
Patrick
It was all those thighs.
Alena
Dream whore makeup.
Patrick
Because that's what I Like, that's what they do. They put you in the asylum. They immediately put tons and tons of blush on you.
Robert
Yeah.
Patrick
And fake eyelashes. It's. It's requirement. It's the only path to health.
Alena
Yep. The only way.
Patrick
It's somebody's job to write his song too. They're like, what's the song? What's the song? This. This is the song. And I wish I could remember what it was called. Called.I probably playing it underneath, but I don't remember what it was called.
Alena
I wish I knew.
Patrick
It was some kind of drill pun.
Alena
Yes. There were lots of drill puns that I do recall.
Patrick
Wacky hardware humor.
Alena
Oh, yeah.
Patrick
And this is a little thing too. Just because I was getting bored at the end. Because it just. It really does just end. The final showdown isn't anything.He literally stands there and waits to be set on fire. Fire.
Alena
Yeah, he does. He's like, okay, whatever.
Patrick
Let's heat it up, baby.
Alena
Let. Yeah, that's what he says.
Patrick
That's right. And she does. And he does.
Alena
Yeah.
Patrick
But.
Alena
Yeah.
Patrick
Yeah. When the. When her friend falls off the roof, I caught this. The stunt person literally slowly climbs off the ledge, pretty much sat down, put the.I'm like, that was this. That was not a fall. That was.
Robert
I was so.
Patrick
You were so wrapped up in the drama of it all. Yeah.
Robert
I was so enraptured by his singing and just the. The depth of it all that I completely missed that.
Patrick
Huh. Had. Had they just been Tokyo convertibles, none of this would have happened.
Robert
Yeah. Or had their pie in the sky or if they had smoked their heads.
Patrick
Yeah. You mentioned. I don't remember anybody saying smoke your head.
Robert
The one guy sort of like, he looks kind of like, what's his face from God. Jeepers creepers. The brother.
Patrick
Yeah.
Robert
The guy who was the Mac and all those ads.
Patrick
Yeah, the Mac. The Mac guy. Yeah.
Robert
He just says that at one point as like an insult. I put a clip of it on the page, like, smoke your head, man.
Patrick
No, you smoke your head. Yeah. There was a lot of weird things like that. They had some weird interplay. I don't know what was going on with either one of those guys.It was very strange. All of it was strange.
Robert
Again, the script probably went through my 85 drafts, and this is what we.
Patrick
What are the kids saying today? Smoke your head.
Robert
Smoke your head.
Patrick
What does that mean? I don't know what that means. I don't know. One of the endless mysteries of the slumber party massacre, too. Well, okay. I think we've done. Done It.There was more meat to the other one to chew into. There's just, just absurdity here. Which is fun in its own right, but hard to talk about. Okay.
Robert
Yeah. Unless you want to the theorize. Was she the killer? I wondered about this. I wondered if that's where we were.
Alena
Going or was she just crazy the whole time?
Patrick
Yeah, she's crazy for dick.
Alena
Totally.
Patrick
Had she just taken it in the butt?
Robert
Oh my God, you're right. You're right.
Patrick
Huh? Huh. I don't know. I got nothing. I got nothing.
Robert
I really wanted it to be something like. Like that where it's like, oh, no, she. She went nuts and killed everybody. Like she saw the people killed in the first one. But nope.
Patrick
I wonder where one gets a drill guitar.
Robert
At. Guitar drill.
Patrick
Okay. Thanks for. For that. I mean, I've never called an ax before, but I've never seen it a drill.
Robert
That was one of the high end ones. The cheaper ones are just like an acoustic guitar with just a drill tape with the.
Patrick
With that. With a hand drill. You got a little crank on it. Okay. I guess so. Robert, our best high point, low point.
Robert
Oh, the high. The high point, I guess is smoke your head. I just love that phrase. I wrote it down on here. It's the best catchphrase of all time.
Patrick
I expect to see it in a novel so soon.
Robert
Yes, possibly.
Patrick
Actually, Possibly in Hot Wet and Wild Memorial.
Robert
Yes.
Patrick
Colin, smoke your head.
Robert
Smoke your head.
Alena
Yeah.
Patrick
Oh, you're here. Okay, you just got quiet. That's.
Alena
I'm just quiet. Sorry.
Patrick
I also, like, your icon went away, so.
Alena
Oh, no, I should. I'm here.
Patrick
You're back. Now that you're talking, maybe that's it. Maybe that's.
Alena
Oh, yeah, that's what happens. They like it. It focuses on who's talking.
Patrick
I'm sorry, I don't want to look at this person anymore. Be quiet. We're not going to look at you. We're just going to look at Robert's granny boob girl. Yep.
Alena
Granny girl.
Patrick
And nobody knows what we're talking about because that was before we started recording. But that's okay. Robert's got granny boobs. I do just, you know, they're like sandpaper.
Robert
Wash them three times.
Patrick
Call back, call back. Okay, so smoke your head. Yeah.
Robert
Yes. I also liked when she put on the robe and the blood came out from under it. That was like one of the few images that was honestly pretty good.
Patrick
I don't even remember that.
Robert
But anyway.
Patrick
Was that after the tub?
Robert
Yes. And then she puts on the robe and walks out and blood starts coming out from under the robe. I thought that actually looked okay. What's the low point?I don't know. The low point is when they were all supposedly really into being attracted to each other. And I never bought it for a second.I've never seen anyone, a group of people in a movie, less desirous of each other.
Patrick
You're right. I couldn't even tell who was dating who. Yeah, it was not clear at all.
Alena
Yeah.
Patrick
Okay. Thank you, Robert. Alena, same question. High point, low point.
Alena
Well, my high point was definitely exploding zit face, because I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's the only time that has happened in film history.In fact, I would like to challenge your listeners to, like, find some clips of other scenes with people's heads that turn into zits and explode from other.
Patrick
Movies flooded with emails. Now, people will be filming their own, I'm sure.
Alena
I'm sure they will. But, like, when someone's face turns into a giant zit and explodes, that is a memorable moment.
Patrick
It really is.
Alena
And then my low point, I guess I would say, is when Courtney pulls a Titanic with her friend at the end. And so, you know, our friend Danny Zuko, the killer, is coming at her with her drill, and she's like, don't let go, Courtney. Don't let go.And then Courtney just fucking lets go. And her friend falls and dies.
Robert
You're like, sorry, yeah, there's no point in both of us dying.
Alena
Exactly.
Patrick
You're already halfway there.
Alena
That was the serious Jack and Rose business.
Patrick
I have a sitcom to get to. Thank you very much.
Robert
Much.
Patrick
I wanted on set in a better project.
Alena
And, you know, I liked her friend. I like her friend. I thought she didn't deserve, you know, such an awful demise. I thought maybe she would be the one to. To survive.
Patrick
No, but. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's funny that you made. Well, this is a completely random thing that'll probably edit out.I was watching some show last night, Brain Games. I think it's on Nat Geo. And they just talk about, like, the. The. The tricks your brains, your brain plays on you.Like how the world is not really what you perceive at all. And one of the things they said how people can feel through sight.And what they did was they showed an actor, and they were just doing these two actions. They were doing a scene in the kitchen. The guy's cutting up vegetables, and the guy cuts his hand accidentally with a knife.And Bradford went and they said, did you just flinch? Because Your brain associates that. What it sees assumes everything that your brain sees. Part of it assumes it's happening to you.Like, when it sees somebody smiling, you'll smile back because your brain's saying, oh, I'm smiling. It will, you know, is a danger thing, protection thing. And I'm like. So I'm picturing, like, Alena's like, ah, it's happening to me. Both ends of that.Like, somebody's zitz has exploded, and I'm just getting a face full of pus.
Alena
Like, no. That was kind of how I felt. It was a very visceral experience. It was, like, really, really extra disgusting. I think I did flinch at the.At the pus fountain.
Patrick
Not just that it was gross, because I could smell it. Everything was gross. It's terrible. My high point and low point, oddly, is the exact same thing.The killer's musical number, the fact that it happens at all. The musical theater part of me is like, this is fucking amazing. Sing. But then it sets this whole conflict up in my brain going, this makes no sense.Then again, in a musical, musical numbers don't make any sense. People don't just burst in a song in real life. But yet it's the part. It's so. But the fact that he does it is great.But then it's a bad musical number. I'm like, this is terrible. He's lip syncing. It's terrible. I'm not buying a second of this. This is totally average.But it's happening, so I love that it's happening. It was just weird. I'm a conflicted person.
Alena
Indeed.
Patrick
I have facets on the show. But somebody told me, like, oh, you need to watch the Sorority House Massacre 2, which was terrible.Like, it's a great thing for women in Horror Month. No, it's not. It's trash. It's even worse trash than this. But they had this flashback sequence. Like, yes.The events that happened in the house, and they're going to the events that happened in his house. And it was all footage from Slumber Party Massacre, the original. Like, this is a totally different franchise. What's happening?And they were talking about, like, different people. Like, and then Kelly answered the door. I'm like, that's not Kelly. That's Courtney. And this is clearly not the house that this place is taking.Like, it's a completely. Like, this is where it happened. I'm like, no, it really didn't. This completely different house. They don't even have a pool in this house.What's happening? But evidently, in the cheerleader Massacre. Mom movies, they do the same thing.Evidently they're all owned by the same people and they just love that footage.Apparently the girl, the woman who washed her butt in the first one, the one your favorite, she's evidently in Cheerleader Massacre one playing that character who has somehow survived. And they show that clip. No.
Robert
This weird.
Patrick
No. No. But at least your butts. Is your butt still clean?
Alena
Oh, yeah.
Patrick
That's a question on everybody as mine.
Alena
How clean is your butt?
Patrick
Is your butt? How clean is your butt? We want the world to. Sorry, BG's. I'm back now. Did I.
Robert
What?
Patrick
Oh, I forgot off my musical styling. Just knocked it right out of your head.
Alena
Yep. I was enraptured.
Patrick
I'm that gifted.
Alena
Singing.
Patrick
We're talking about butt washing. Okay. It didn't come back, you know. What?
Alena
Butt washing. It did not. No. Oh, I mean, yeah. Was just saying you would.You would ask her, you know, did you make sure and get really deep in that crack like you did last time? Because that was clearly important to you the first time. Obviously.Well, that wouldn't have had some dingleberries hanging on that you needed to get rid of because survives.
Patrick
I have unfinished business on this planet. Wouldn't that been amazing had this been the message. Been the message of this movie. Instead it was don't go all the way.He was like, be sure to wash your butts. A boy can dream. Okay, I have to go eat dinner. Thank you guys very much. Hugs and kisses.
Alena
Thanks.
Patrick
And Robert. So I could slap you.
Alena
Okay.
Patrick
Okay. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Robert
Bye.
Alena
Bye.
Patrick
Okay, so we're going to put Slumber Party Massacre to bed. This has gotten weird. Okay. Alena Acker, thank you very much for joining us again. Robert, our best. You know you're always welcome here, but whatever.
Robert
Thank you.
Patrick
No, we love you both. We love you both. And you guys are electric. Chemistry. Wish we had a better movie to talk about this time.
Alena
But hey, it's what we got. It's what they made.
Patrick
It's.
Alena
Thank you.
Patrick
It's not our fault. It's their fault. Good point. Good point. I mean, how. How many offer? How many. How many other. I sound like you now, Robert.How many offer other times you're going to get a flasher movie that's a musical. Not often. Not often.
Alena
Not often.
Patrick
Not often enough. Thank you. All right. Good night, lady. Good night, gentlemen.
Alena
Thank you.
Patrick
Happy Valentine's Day. Oh. All of the music for tonight's show, unless otherwise specified, has been written by Sam Haynes. You can find all of his music@www.bandcamp.com.