Damn You, Uncle Lewis #12 - "Scarecrow"

Oh, hello.Come in, come in, come in.Do come in out of the terrible weather.Oh, welcome.Welcome to my very Curious Curio shop.Although I hate to inform you the shop is closed for tonight because there's a.Well, it's a rather special evening.It's a monthly meeting of sorts.So unless you're here for the meeting, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.The nature of the meeting, you ask.Let me put it to you this way.Sometimes Uncle Louis does dreadful things.Welcome to Damn you, Uncle Lewis.The Friday the 13th series retrospective podcast.

Attention everyone.Attention everyone.Hi.Hi, everyone.Hi.Hi.Attention.Hi.It's me, Patrick, owner of the Very Curious Curious shop.Hi.You're probably wondering why I'm not letting you into the building right now.That's because I don't know if you remember this meeting of the Damien Uncle Lewis Club we're not having here.We're going on a retreat, a holiday retreat into the country.Yay.Yes.So the party bus is pulling up right now.I hope you remember to pack a suitcase and bring your permission slip and a snack.Find your buddy and get on the bus.Cause we got places to go.Cause Uncle Lewis has taken his shenanigans out.Out of town.Yo.Okay, you're probably uncomfortable getting on the bus with strangers if you're new, so I'd just like to take a moment to introduce you to our fabulous bus driver.He's sitting over there in his giant 10 gallon hat, his mirrored sunglasses and his fringe chaps.The fabulous he man from Texas, Mr. Trae Dean.Say hi, Trae.

Hey everyone.With my.My cowboy asshole chaps voice.

But the fringe works.The fringe.The fringe.

Is nice.It.

Looks good on you.

Yes.

And of course last but definitely least because she's.You'll recognize her because she's wearing the bucket hat of shame.She's your safety monitor.She'll be one who'll be forcing all the rules and ruining all the fun today.The not so fabulous. But really, she is quite fabulous.Ms. Maya Murphy.

Hello, hello, hello.I am wearing the bucket hat of shame today.

Yeah, but I like that little writing crop you brought with you.Don't fuck with her.

That's for later.

The writing crop and the nuns habit.It's an interesting combination, but I like it.We're.

Getting into some of our childhood trauma today, aren't we, Patrick?

You're not the only one who could cosplay.Thank you.

I mean, I don't call it cosplay when I wear that outfit, but hey.

Well, if you're on the show.You could call it cuz-play.

Ooh, now we're getting into.We.

Haven't had incest in a while.Getting into his favorite kind of everybody.Kids, kids, kids, kids on the bus.I'd just like to remind you, while the bus is in motion, please do not talk to the bus driver.It's not safe.And plus, that's my job.Maya and I will be up here talking shit about Uncle Lewis.Do not interrupt us until the episode that we're talking about is called Scarecrow.And I believe my spidey sense is telling me that the lady in the bucket hat, Ms. Maya, it's your turn to tell me, what did Uncle Lewis do this week?

Uncle Lewis sold a cursed scarecrow.I know.Spoilers.Spoilers.Very early on every harvest season, the scarecrow is going to kill three people.And whoever commands him, sort of.It's a bit unclear.Receives prosperity of their choice.

I'll accept that.Close enough.It's close enough.We'll all work it out in the case.Yeah, we got a Kurt scarecrow that's out for some head man.

Yep.It likes to.

Yeah, it likes to chop off your head and do weird things with it.I realize, everybody, that since the show has started, I have been an actory actor.Like the really annoying actor.Cause every time we talk about the episodes, all I do is talk about the actors.I never talk about the directors, the writers.And that's not fair.I realize we are now hitting the prime of season one.Like they are really hitting their stride now.And David Cronenberg's coming on next time.We need to start taking a look who else is dicking around behind the scenes.God damn it.There's a car alarm going on outside and you're just gonna have to press on.That's what happens when you're on the road.Road sounds.So the director of this episode, you might not recognize his name.Cause most of it, he did a ton of horror movies, most of which were in the 70s, including the house by the Lake and Spasms with, I think Oliver Reed.I wanna say it doesn't matter, but.But in the 80s, he really hit his campy ass stride when he directed the Jeannie Ward nominated best film Funeral Home, starring Previous Friday the 13th, the series villain,.

Lesleh Donaldson.

Lesleh.

Donaldson.Thank you, Trae.Thank you.Yes, from the great Montana in the pink.That.Awful pink dress.My God.

Yeah.And he also did the movie Killer Party.

I love that movie.

Really goofy slasher that doesn't work at all.But yet the Reason that it doesn't work is that it works.It's weird.

It's a kitchen sink movie.

With Banana Rama music.Or fake Banana Rama music.Anyway, not the current right now.The episode was written by a guy called Mark Scott ZucreeNow a lot of my sci fi nerd friends were.I was looking, I was mentioning this episode.Oh my God.That was written by Mark Scott.I can't believe he wrote that.Because he's apparently a hugely renowned sci fi novel.It's not my novelist.Rather not my genre.I'm not sure, but I'm gonna take their word for it.But I can see from his IMDb that he's worked on Deep Space Nine.

Deep Space Nine?Uh.

Huh.He wrote a book with Guillermo del Toro that won a Rondo Award and a Hugo Award.

Damn.

And he worked on all like the C list Saturday morning cartoons of the 80s.Like the get Along Gang.

Oh my goodness.

Gang, get along.Getta Get Along.Fuck off.

Sounds like he got paid though.

And the little hey, whatever works.Whatever works.And he had to work off all that positive energy by writing crap like this.Gory, mean spirited crap like this.Trae, Trae, Trae.I don't know if you noticed, I'm totally channeling Robey at the beginning of the episode right now.

How?How, how?

I brought the mail.

Oh, we have to talk to each other now.

Yay.I got some mail from listeners.Yay.

Hey,.

Now hold on.I gotta put on my fabulous headscarf.And just my hair.

To accent it just so.

My waves of golden red hair.Perfect, fabulous.And read a message from Gary W. Gary in the uk.Hi Gary.

Hi Gary.Hey.

Gary.

Yeah, Gary sent me a very special note on Facebook Messenger.Cause first of all, Gary, welcome to patronage.Welcome to the Super Screamers.Yay.Yeah, you get to sit at the cool table from now on.Don't.

Ask me for directions.I don't know where the cool kids table is.

That's why you're in the back.

In the head of shame.

However, if we need long winded exposition, you're the guest.Because it's the hat.It's the hat.It's the hat.It just happens.Or funny accents anyway.Bet.Can we talk about Gary now?

Talk about Gary,.

Please.

Gary became a patron specifically for our show.

That's very, very cool and very special.

He's been in a funk and he was saying, oh, I just, you know, really love the show.And I thought this would cheer me up because I just bought a Friday the 13th the series box set and it's Gonna be so good to hear people talking about this show because this show just isn't talked about enough.

We.

Agree.Obviously,.

We'll see what you say after a couple more episodes of this, but thank you for that.And then he proceeded to a live tweet.

Oh my God, really?

Episode one.

That's.

Amazing.

Uh huh.My favorite bits are, I love the hair and fashion talk and the fact that the annoying as fuck little girl has already been picked apart by you guys.

She deserved it.

Leave Mary alone.Vita's gonna start hissing.

I'm a doll.

I have extreme eyebrows, Gary.

Vita had divines eyebrows.It was weird.

You're not my real dad, Gary, and you never will be.And then he says, I love the first episode.It's one of my favorite of the series.But that little girl needed a slap.What did we just tell you, Gary?Leave her alone.Quote.Did the writers forget that they were related?Thank you for saying that, guys.I've been saying that for years.We'll be saying that a lot.Okay?And finally, he had a quote from Maya.His favorite quote was from Maya when she said, what's the matter with her?Is she Danish?

Okay, I'm part Danish.I could say that.

In reference to Robey's accent.

I don't understand it at all.I don't.

It's the magic of Robey.

It's the magic of Robey.It's a little like pre Moira Rose.Like I can't quite put my finger on it.

We would have so much less to talk about if she talked like a normal person.

Oh, we would.We would.So much less.Fodder.But there's still plenty of fodder.Anyway, thank you, Gary.You were so cool and we're glad to have you on board the bus.

Welcome, Gary.

The curio bus is coming and everybody's humming.We're gonna chop some.No singing.

On the bus.

Oh.Oh, snap.Living up to a roll.

All right, let's get down to business, shall we?Picture it.Riverdale, AmericaTown adjacent.We hoping on a heartwarming family dinner scene.

We're gonna pay off every last one of them, son.But it'll take most everything we got.

It was that last crop, huh, dad?Yeah, it was a big disappointment.

Hey, but just ask yourself, what's the worst that can happen?They can't break us.They can't split us up.Hey, remember,.We got mom up in heaven looking out for her.

Trae, please tell us what's going on.

Well, not only have we left America Town, we've left the 1980s.Cause we're now like in the 30s in the dust bowl.Cause you have a father and a son and.And the father is.I wrote down.He's Hallmark happy.He's so fucking happy to have his son there.And they're looking over their bills and just happily tells his son that mama's in heaven looking down over them and they have nothing else to worry about.And he calls the kid Tiger.And it's just the sweetest little depression era family you ever saw.

Yeah, it's funny.He's like, we can't pay the bills, but everything's great.

They can't get us.We're gonna work it out.And he hugs him before he goes to bed.There's love in this.

So.

There's nothing to worry about.Except for the scarecrow that shows up at the door with the giant scythe.

Well, you know.

Yeah, that's nothing to worry about except it's the first 30 seconds of this show and nothing is going to happen.You're too fucking happy.

You're about to be an exposition death.Very sorry.

All right.We're canon and we're polite, but we don't tolerate this level of saccharine.Thank you.Thank you.Yeah, the father gets decapitated by the scarecrow who just shows up at the door and like I said, wielding a giant scythe.And the kid sees it.The kid sees the whole thing.And what's even weirder, what's weird is the head sitting there in the doorway, as heads do once they've been decapitated.And someone who's not the scarecrow just kind of pops in and goes, yoink.

I'll take this head.

It was like the three second rule.It's still good.It's still good.

It's still good.And she has a nasty long black trench coat.And not my bucket hat of shame, but a rain hat.

Yes.I think the term is slicker because it sounds gross.

Slicker.Hardly knew her.

Not as slicker was the coat.Not the.

That's a snorkel,.

Patrick.You're making this up.

Whatever, Whatever.

Brain hurts.Patrick.

I just want to say slicker because it's fun to say.

Hard K sounds.

Thank you.Always hilarious.

But that scarecrow looked really cool.Especially the face.Wasn't your typical burlap.It was almost like three bandages sort of wrapped around.No, I think.

It was leather.It's leather.It was deliberately leather.

Okay.Yeah, they had like these three strips of leather on the face and that was.It was very cool looking.

It was unsettling and there was definitely movement underneath it.It wasn't just a hard prosthetic.Really nice.

Yeah.Yeah.And he's well dressed for a scarecrow, too.

Yeah,.

He's fancy.

Yeah.He's wearing a suit.

He's a fancy scarecrow.

He is.He is.And the next thing that you see is one of my favorite shots of the show because, as Maya said earlier, the cinematographers get to play a hell of a lot more because they're not on a backlot, which, granted, you have more control of.But now you've got these wide open spaces and fabulous sunrises and sunsets and this great location that they're shooting in.And we see the woman in the black slicker just standing out in her cornfield.Not necessarily cornfield.We don't know what it is because it's harvest times.Everything's already come in.She's just standing out there in her field by the scarecrow post, which is like a big cross.And as Maya said when we recorded this, when we tried to record this last time, she's like, I get nervous when I see crosses in rural places.

Yeah.

Just standing by it, and she just watching the sun come up, beaming, big, beaming face.She just raises her arms up like hallelujah.

Yeah.

Like she didn't just nab ahead out of a doorway in the middle of the night.

No, it's gorgeous.It's beautifully shot, and it is very unsettling.It's a lovely opener.

Yeah.

Very good.

And now we get to cut to Micki and Ryan in the car, because this is an episode where we don't get to spend any time in the shop at all.

Nope.

What else is unique about this episode, y'?All?

No Jack.No.

Jack.

We are Jack less again.Two in a row.

Maybe he booked a conflict.He had to go play someone's gay uncle in a movie.

Well, according to the postcard that he sent, he's on the beach.

Different kind of movie.

Yep.

Hunting down the Icarus Feather.

Okay, Jack,.

Whatever that is.I think he just made that up.But just like.Yes.It's this thing that you get when you get too close to a sun, you just burst into flames.

Well, it's funny, he decided to go.Go on this and not take the cousins with him because they always help him all the time in town.But he's like, oh, no, I don't need you for this.Oh, no, no,.

No.No help in big air quotes, like, wouldn't you need a break from Micki and Ryan?Because I would.

Yeah,.

I need to get this done in minimal amount of time and also get time on the beach.

Yep.I don't think there's any crisfe.He's making that up.He just want to get away from them.

And he's not getting.He's not getting any d. With those two around,.

For sure.

They'll find something to ask him questions.I don't have any exposition for you guys right now.I'm trying to hook up.Thank you.

But thank.

You.

My collection of wigs and a different accent

Yes.And so they're driving off to the country because Ryan has sent out some mailers trying to hunt down the scarecrow.I guess they looked it up.

This scarecrow.

Sorry,.

That.

Sorry.

I pictured the wanted poster.Like what?

No, like a lost dog.

Reward offered.

They are trying to purchase it.Yes.

Try reproach prone to decapitation.

Do not chase.

Answers to the name of.

Fluffy.

Buffy.

Oh, no.

And so Ryan's just sent up this mailer to hunt down the scarecrow, and they got a lead.And Micki's also brought along the mail, which she could have read before they left, but I guess there's something to do in the car besides bicker at each other.

Well, she's a businesswoman, so she's got to pay attention to the finances.

She is.She is.And what I still think is fascinating.Is she still giving Ryan shit.She's like, well, so you had to send out this mailer about this scarecrow.

I can't believe you brought the mail with you.

I'm not the one who sent out those.

Mailers.

Whatever.Sending us all over the country looking for a scarecrow.Come on.

Did you bring the.

At this point, are you really gonna be like.Like, it's like.It's a stupid thing for them to be doing to hunt down anything that was shelled at the store.At this point, she's still like, what?

Yeah, I hadn't thought about that.It's like, it's.You both agreed to find all these objects.That sounds proactive.What are you doing,.

Micki?I'm looking fabulous.Thank you, Fashion miracle.

Oh, she is, though.Her hair.As soon as we see her hair in the car.Oh, my God.

10 Out of 10 for Micki's look.This whole episode, every scene.Her hair is flawless.

Her outfit changes multiple times in the episode, but her hair and her headband does not.

All never change.

That's what I think was the secret to this episode was that headband scarf thing that she has on seems to be stapled to her head because it never comes Off.Her hair is perfectly arranged around it in this fabulous cascading wave that I think once they got it on, they're like, we can't take that off because we are not gonna be able to do that again.

Except in one part when we get to it, I'll mention it, because the hairband did move, and you knew that Micki was in trouble.

It did move.It moved, but it still stayed.It still stays.Oh, my God.The headband.Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.No,.

But she also had, like, this corset.

Say that headband.

She had a corset belt on that had, like, a vertical.Oh,.

No.But we're gonna talk about my favorite outfit in a minute.

Oh, yeah, we are.Oh, we are.

Yeah.But I'm just saying, like, this outdoor look is fabulous.She's got the hair going on, the scarf going on, and she's got this great tan leather.It's a members only jacket, but she looks fantastic in it.It's like this perfect, classic.

Puffy coat.But it's, like, really well tailored.

Yeah, she looks great.And.

She's got, like, a peak of a skirt.Then she's got, like, the stock, like, the fishnet stockings and the boots.

They're not fishnets.They're pantyhose.

Okay, okay.

But I love.Exactly.I love that the coat is just long enough to show you that there is a skirt.

Skirt.

And then the next day when we're running around the town, she switches out to a pair of, like, light taupe leggings.Yeah, but her hair is the same.And she still has the headband.

Yep, yep.She's.She's looking good.But we got to talk about the other.The other fashion.

On the flip side, on the other side of the car, we have the fashion loser.

Oh.The hockey.

Sweater.And.

That's on an episode with a woman who wears a scalloped collar most of the show.She didn't win.She didn't win.The worst outfit episode.No.Ryan's coat is absolutely hideous.And that hunter hat he has on is absurd.

Oh, yeah.100 Half.Like, the flaps put up.I don't get that.

Yeah.No.What did I write for?It's like.It's a color block.Hockey jacket from hell.It's this big.It's not even a jacket.It's like a sweater that's also a coat.It's very strange.

Yeah.Like.

But how are you going to try to convince me that your show is set outside America Town, usa, when you have a fucking hockey player on the back of your coat.

Yeah.It's got crocheted hockey player, and then it has, like, a shield on the front with, like, two crossed.Yeah.

Of course they're belying the fact that they're in Canada.

Yeah.

I mean, maybe the shield is.Maybe we.

Shouldn't use the hockey.

Oh, no,.

Maybe they will.Maybe they won't know.Maybe they won't know.It'll be fine.No, but the thing is.The thing is, plenty of hockey in America.What I noticed about this particular outfit was that it called back.And I'm pretty sure it was designed by the same person who made my other favorite worst outfit award from the Vanity's Mirror episode was the villains.Helen, the villain.Helen was walking through the high school hallway when she was going with Zach Ward to push him in the garbage disposal.She was wearing this hideous sweater that on the back had these crocheted, knitted, square.Dancing couple.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's the same design.It's gotta be.So they got the money's worth of his designer.

Yep.

Even though we just spent 10 minutes ripping them both apart.Okay, back to the show.

But we remembered it.We're still talking about it all these years later.

Yeah.Yeah.And we find out.

That we're going to Riverdale.But not the cool Riverdale.

Nope.

Cool is a descriptive choice.

Riverdale in the middle of nowhere, I think.Trae, how did you describe this town previously?

I don't.So flat.You watch your dog run away for 20 minutes.

Yeah.Is that.Is that.It's just.It's pretty much like the Grapes of Wrath.Dust Bowl.Victor.

Oh, yeah.Exactly.Oh, yeah.Just.

Waiting to see the Judd family rolling through.And Rosa Sharon, like, giving her booby milk to somebody in the fields.You know, whatever.

Everyone talks like they're out of some, like, William Faulkner novel.No.Spoiled the end.

Of the book.No one reads to read the book now.

Yeah, but it's not in the movie.They'll be like, where's the booby?Feeding.Feeding.We're not talking about the Grapes of Wrath.We're not talking about the Grapes of Wrath.

Well, everyone there is really folksy.And when we get to some people, I've written lines down.Cause they love to.They love themselves.A folksy turn of words.

Trae.Trae.When the sheriff said, I knowed him since he was born, I'm like, where are we?

He was a farmer and we buried him.

Yeah.No.What's all the hullabaloo?

I also wrote down some lines.

Yeah.When we get to them, I have to use them because.

So we have really fucked up everything.

Oh yeah.This town's got like seven people in it and they're all.

They all have different accents and different regionalisms.

Uh huh.Uh huh.But that's okay.It's okay.Cause it's still a ripper of an episode.So the thing is that Ryan actually got a response to his mailer that he got a lead that somebody said, yeah, we have it.

And we never find out who wrote the letter, do we?

Charlie did.

Okay, okay.

No, I'm sorry.His wife did.I think Trudy wrote it.Oh,.

Trudy.Yeah.Cause.

It's the big loopy handwriting.

Was it Trudy or Tudy?

I'm sorry.It's Tudy.

Okay.

I was so confused about that.I couldn't tell.I just wrote them husband and wife because I wasn't sure their names.

Tudy.

Tooty.In my notes.

Tudy.But not like Facts of Life Tootie.Because I looked on the IMDb and it's like Trudy without the R.

T U D Y. Tudy.T.

D Y. Tooty.

Like her name is Tooter.Tooty for short.Okay.

I still like that she's part of Tootie's extended family from Facts of Life.

Because it was the other way I'd expected to be on roller skates, which might have helped her in her chasing.Actually.

Yeah, we're not there yet.

One of the things I thought I liked about the script that has been a detriment in other scripts is that they don't tell you everything.They let you figure stuff out and there's a lot of stuff you have to do some headcanon on.And if you sit and think about it, you're like, okay, that does track.They just didn't bother to tell us that.But they.

Do.I like that a lot.I like that they walked back the handheld because I think it added more camp than the show needs.

And this one is all kind of not about the mystery, but just what's going on.What exactly is going on?Doesn't happen.You get to watch it play.

Out.There's some fakes.

And it works.And it works.So we're not sure who sent the letter or whatever.They wind up at the house of Charlie and Tudy Colbean.Charlie and Tudy Colbean.

Like the cheese?

No, not Colby.It's Colbean.

Cold bean.

C O, L, B, E, A, N. Coal Bean.

Cool Bean.

What I.

Thought was great was that when Micki would say the name with the Micki accent, with the Robey accent, it sounded like thank you for letting us come by, Mr. And Mrs.Cool Bean.It's the cool beans, ladies and gentlemen.The cool beans.

Cool beans.Oh, my God.I used to say that 10 years ago.Meet you for coffee later?Yeah.Cool beans.Good Lord.

That's when Robey's accent comes in.Great.

Robey makes everything better.

So we're at.We're at this.We're at this farmhouse, which is like wood paneling central.I was like, oh, God.Jesus.And the cobines are backpedaling.Charlie Colbean is backpedaling.Time out.We have to talk about Charlie Colbean because Charlie Goldbeen has got some horror movie credit.Charlie Colembean was played by James Douglas, who was also in the changeling with George C. Scott and also in the Canadian killer rat movie Deadly eyes with.

Lesleh Donaldson.Lesleh.

Donaldson.

Hey,.

It always comes back seven degrees of.

Lesleh Donaldson.Once.

In a movie with Lesleh.He always in a movie with Lesleh.Okay, back to the show.So he's backpedaling.He's like, no, we had it.But there was a fire.

Burned down in a crap fire three years ago.

Now I saw him.Okay, but Micki's suspicious and does the.Oh, excuse me.Can I use your.Ahem.

This note?Offhand, I'd say somebody's been pulling.

Your leg.

But you did buy that scarecrow from our uncle, didn't you?Yes.

It burned up in a crop fire three years ago.And unless you'd care to strain the North 40 for ashes,.

We can't say bathroom on Canadian television.

Nope, nope.They're too polite for that.

Oh, can you imagine?Her trying to say toilet.It would be awful.

Toilet.That'd be worse.

You're right.That'd be worse.I.

Want to see if we'll do a mashup of her and Moira Rose.

I. I'm gonna have to do that later.

Both redheads coincident.Both Canadian.

There you go.

Catherine Harrell, also Canadian, actually.I don't even know if Robey's actually Canadian, but I'm guessing she is because she's on the show.That's how the Canadian funding thing works.We'll have to.

Do some.Yeah, some.Some legwork there.

Robey belongs to the world.That would explain her accent.Anyway, so Charlie's like, no, no, no, we don't have it.We don't have it.We don't know nothing about it.But his wife Tudy's like, well, but never mind.Shut up, woman.And so they're gonna leave, and Robey's like, does one of her stealth things on this, she'll say, ryan, I think, dude, he was trying to tell me something, like, right in front of him.And excuses yourself to go use the bathroom.And another great surprise.Not only do we have a killer scarecrow, we have got it turns out the coal beans have a kid.And not just a kid.It is a future wall person kid that they keep locked up.

It's like, Boo Radley.

They have a Boo Radley.

Kid.I was to be ham.My favorite line from.We're getting all the classic literature, too, because this.

Okay, so not a Boo Radley because the kid actually attacks Micki.

Yeah,.

Boo.

Radley was a nice man with a lesson.

Okay, she's faking.

Out, going to the restroom.She's like, well, I'm just going to go peek around in other rooms.Because they won't notice because this farmhouse is apparently sprawling.No.But of course, the kid bursts out and crazy and grabs her and get out of my house.Blah, blah, blah.

Oh, yeah.And then he drives the wife out of the room going, I think I smell something burning.And she's like, oh, I have to go check the kitchen.Bye.

This is our family.He's our son.That's my family.It's none of your business business.

Yeah,.

Yeah.

That's our boy.That's our business.I didn't ask you to come.I'm asking you to leave.

So they are summarily escorted out, yet they still decide to poke around the property for a while.

Wait, I have to get this out.I wrote this line down.Yeah.No, I didn't ask you to come, but I'm asking you to leave.

I like that line.You use it in so many different situations.

You don't have to go home, but get the fuck out of my house.

They don't leave.They poke around on the property for a while.What catches Micki's attention?

A scarecrow?

The post.

Okay, okay, you're right.You're right.That's where the.

Scarecrow would go.But it's the thing that looks like.Well, she doesn't know.

What it is.What's that?Are they in the Ku Klux Klan?

What's that?

One second.It's a scarecrow post.But I thought they said there's no scarecrow.Because they can't possibly have another scarecrow here out in farm country.There's only one in this whole town.

There's only one.There's only one farm.We could never replace a scarecrow.They are single.Well,.

There's not only one farm, but we'll get into that.

Oh, absolutely.

And they are interrupted.Who interrupts them?Who.

Cheekbones Magoo this time?Not nurse licker.

Oh, Marge.

Marge.Our villain of the week.Villain.

Of my heart.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.She's got.

Some bone structure.

She does.She's.

Got some bone structure.And she got some issues.

Oh, yeah.

For real.

Issues.Yeah.And, hey, this is our, what, third lady villain.

Yeah.Let me.Some.

Lady villain.

Yeah.

And she's a great one.She's a good one.

She's wonderful.

And this actress is Patricia Phillips, who mostly did Canadian television, but kudos to her.She has now become a producer.A highly successful, successful producer of historical documentary films.So, yay.

Very good looking for her.

Yeah.Very cool.Working, still being fabulous somewhere.

She plays this role like a Disney villain.She is a. Yeah.Everything's, like,.

Slow and deliberate, and there's so much life going on in her eyes.Even when she's like a slow close up moving, and she's like, obviously has fabulous evil machinations.Like, it's wonderful.

Every line.She just dines on all her lines.

Yeah.And so many of her lines are absolutely threatening to us because we know she's the villain.

Yeah.

But to any of the characters, it just sounds like her being nice.Like, for instance, later on in the episode, she goes, if he starts talking, will you just let me know?I know just what to do.

Mm.Yeah.

Yeah.That was a good one.

And when they first meet her, she's got my favorite lines where she's like, I live over there.A piece.

A piece.

Well, that's a $64 question, not $64,000.

$64 Question.Well, because to them, that was $64,000.

Oh, yeah.In Canada in the 80s.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, that was a 50s TV show.

I'm aware.

Yeah.Or even possibly a radio show.

It.

Doesn't matter.Anyway, she is not happy.She is not happy to have these people poking around.

Nope.Oh, no.

She's not friendly.She's like, what you doing on this property?Who the hell are you?

What do you think you're doing?

We might ask the same of you.

How do you do?I'm Micki Foster.This is Ryan Dalion.We're antique dealers.We were seeing the Cobines.I'm afraid our curiosity got the better of us.

You want to watch it?It could bite you.From the city, huh?I'm Marge Longacre.I live over there.A piece.

Of.I got a shotgun.I'll blow your heads off.

And Micki, genius that she is, opens up with why they're Actually, there.Well, you never learn.

But no, but, no, she doesn't.Not completely.She says, we're antique buyers, and we're just going around to see if people in this rural neighborhood have anything that they want to sell.Valid.

Like a scarecrow.

Valid.But it works.It gets pester.And that just melts Marge's heart.And she invites them.Well, they ask, was there a hotel in town?She's like, well, as a matter of fact, there is.

You know any place we can stay?

Well, now you've just asked the $64 question.I happen to be owner of the Longacre Inn and entire staff.And it's not only the nicest place in town, but the only place.

Nothing like a monopoly.Yes.

Well, you just amble on over there.It's.

She owns an inn in the center of town.And.

It's not only the best hotel in town,.

It's the only one.

Yep.Cause who the fuck comes here?Three people live here.

There's seven people in this town.I counted.

Come for the glorious nothing.

Yeah.Yeah.But she hasn't.And she's happy to share it.

She's carrying over her special baked goods for the son.

Oh, right.

Over in the Cool Beans household.

His calming.

Yeah.To calm him with her specialty.

So she's growing weed.

That's how they make all the money.That's the only reason to live out in the.

Middle of nowhere, is to keep the cops out of your weed.

At a certain point, I'm just like, there should be meth growing on the trees here if this was now.

And when she finishes with Micki and Robey, she has something really ominous to say to the Cool Beans.I don't remember exactly what it was, but it was something about visitor.

Okay.So Ryan and Micki check into the inn, which is.Let's just say there's lots of doilies.

Yeah.

And we do a really nice Chekhov's gun.There's a picture of Marge with a man on the wall.And Micki asks who it is.Chekhov's couple's portra.

Yep.

And Marge says he was a farmer and we buried him.

Is that you?

Me and my husband.He was a farmer and it buried him.I'll go freshen your rooms.

Which, again, is something that is an innocent statement, but I'm just like, I think she killed him.Buried.

Him after What?Marge.

she Killed him, too, didn't she?This is the first.Like, this is where I started doing headcanon.

Yeah.

About stuff we found out later.But, yeah, I just said note that for later, not Just the picture.But what she said.I also.For some reason, I thought this was one of those weird things where they checked in as man and wife, but they did.

Yay.

They're.

Sleep in the same bed.And Micki's not going to complain.She's going to complain at the monastery, but she's going to complain.But it didn't happen.Never mind.They're just checking in.Everything's fine.We didn't have room for that.

Subplot this episode.

But they start to.They do that thing that they do.They start talking about what they're there for and what they heard at the Colbys in the middle of the stairwell of his inn.Not knowing that at the top of their voices.Not knowing that Marge is at the top of the stairs.Fabulously under lit.

Fabulously.There's this gorgeous uplight on her cheekbones.Every ominous scene.

Yeah.She's hearing every word that she said, and she knows.And then she's like, mm, mm.Okay.So they just did something real bad.And she looks terrifying and fabulous.

Yeah.

It's like a reverse morticia light.

Oh, yeah.Some of their eyes is just coming up from underneath there.Just those cheekbones.

Marge is going on.We're going to see Marge activate the scarecrow.Somebody want to walk me through how this works?And who is she cursing?

You put a picture on the scarecrow, and the scarecrow comes to life and goes after that person.

It's like the Terminator, but made out of hay.

Exactly.

And leather.

Leather,.

Yeah.And who's been targeted?

Mrs. Colbean.

Tudy.

She's targeting Tudy.

Tudy.

Tudy.

Tudy is trying to come speak to Micki and Ryan, and she, like Bugs Bunny, sneaks out of her own house and then wanders through the fog.And the scarecrow is chasing after her in the fog and the dark.And it's.

It's cool.

It's so campy.And I love it.

It was very.It was.Yeah.It was what I wanted.For.

A while.I thought this.This is really stupid because this is an older woman who's had two lines in this episode, and she sees the scarecrow when she's still in kind of weedy tall.

I thought it was corn.

It's not, though.It's something called.It's something tall and whatever.It's some kind of tall plant that she's kind of wandering through.

Corn is tall.

I know, but it's too spo.It was too sparse for a cornfield.It's like, look random.It doesn't matter anyways.She's wandering through the set because this is clearly on a set and she's seen the Scarecrow.And it's popping up in different places, like it can teleport.But she's running like an old woman.So I'm like, this is the slowest fucking chase I've ever seen.It reminded me of the old age.The one.

Is the horror movie Lady Flail.So her arms are all moving around in front of her.

And she's not running.I mean,.

Yeah.

Maya, have you seen behind the Mask?The Rise of Leslie Verdon?

I have not.

It's a brilliant film.It's a.What's the word?It's a deconstructed slasher movie.

I love that.It's from the other way around.Great.

And it's documentary about them.And they're talking to this guy who used to be on the Walking Dead, the old guy from the Walking Dead, who is a retired professional slasher.And the woman asks him, well, what tips would you have if someone were to come across you?And he says, well, first of all, don't know how to hide.We'll find you.Don't fight back.You're not going to win.Just pick a spot in the distance and keep running.And don't look back, because I guarantee you're not going to like what you see.Meanwhile, we have Tudy, whose head is spinning around.

Everyone take a tip from Orpheus and just like, don't turn around,.

Don't turn around,.

Don't turn around.

I just see my heart breaking.

Don't turn around when you're being chased by the scarecrow Start singing the Ace of Bass.He hates it.He hates it.But the thing is, once she gets out of the little woodsy area, she takes off like a fucking candy.Whoa.It's on now.Go, Tudy.What were you waiting for?

Maybe she was worried she was gonna trip over a br or something and snap her ankle.Because she's old.

She.

Kicked her heel f these.Fuck these.I'm gonna wear stilettos to see Ryan in that sexy jacket.I'm outta here.

Well, and she makes it all the way to the front door of the inn.Like, Tudy almost makes it.

Almost makes it.And coincidentally, Robey just happens to be coming out at the exact moment.

Her Spidey sense is tingling.She knew someone was gonna be at the door for her.Her hair spoke to her.

Her hair starts to quaff itself.Oh,.

Her hair starts slicking the flyaways back like, oh,.

Something's happening.I must be Having a scene.

She opens the.Oh, she hear.She heard something.That's what it was.She heard something.She went to the door, was looking around like, what?What?I don't see anything.And then she looks down, and Tudy's.Tudy's head is just sitting there on the porch, like, twitching.

Oh, it was scaring at.

Her.Twitching.Yeah, it.

Looked like a bobblehead.

And her reaction was, thanks, Robeyn.She's like, I'm a singer.I can't scram today.But she's gonna start screaming in a minute.Cause that head ain't alone.The scarecrow's still there.

Yep, she's a scarecrow.

Oh, my God.Micki, what did you see?Where's her head?Where's her head?

It's gone.But I saw a scarecrow.

What's all the hullabaloo?

Hard cut.They actually called the police.I can't believe it was like, what?You guys actually called the police?And we're dealing with the police?

Well, Jack's not around, so they needed some sort of authority figure.That's.

Right.We needed some oversized man.

With facial hair.

I was gonna say.Who came in.Who's the Canadian?Tom Atkins with that mustache.And actually this guy.Hold on, hold on, hold on.Steve Purney, the sheriff.He was in the class of 1984.He was one of the thugs that was tormenting Perry King and Michael J.Fox.And he was also in that goofy movie the Brain.So he's got some Canadian horror credit as well.Yeah,.

Right.

I like the Brain.I haven't thought about that in a while.

It's a good one.

You haven't thought about the Brain, It's thought about you. and everybody's the whole big investor.Well, he's like, well, that's a ridiculous story.So you saw us shouldn't be.

Spreading stories like that, little lady.

Is this where he says, what's the hullabaloo?I wrote that.What's the hullabaloo?

I don't know who said that.I really don't.But I do remember.I.

Think it's.

Because Doug Shapiro was in a show called Halloween Hullabaloo.So I started singing Hullabaloo.It's a hullabaloo.It's a Halloween hullabaloo.

Well, we also get our American, you know, we're in Americatown because we have the Ryan's wearing the Illinois State shirt.

Oh, that's his pajama shirt to do paintings for his hockey sweater.

Yeah, but he's in America because Illinois.Oh,.

My gosh, we forgot something really important.

What'd we forget?

We forgot when they were getting out of the car to go talk to the Koolbees.Micki's like, here, I brought this to have some fun with while we're out here, since we're out in the country and she throws something at him.What does she throw at him?

It's a baseball with an autograph on it.

Now, if you've been watching the show for a while, you should know.Don't touch anybody's balls on this show.You touch Jack's balls, you summon the devil.Uncle Lewis shows up, and if he touches Ryan's balls, he gets really fucking cranky.

What do you got there?

Oh, seeing as we're in the country, I thought I'd pack a picnic lunch.Catch.

Where'd you get this?

In the drawer by the fridge.

Yeah, well, it was.Was there for a reason.

Ryan.I didn't mean anything by it, okay?

It's nothing.

Oh.He was not happy about this ball.

Why is he not happy?

Because the ball, turns out, belonged to his deceased brother.

Mm.

And he tells us a really sad story about it later.

Yeah.Yeah.But he's very angry at Micki.Micki's like.

Well, Micki's like, it was in a drawer by the fridge, and he's like, it was there for a reason.That's where I keep my prize things is in the kitchen junk drawer.Well, the.

Things that bring me emotional pain, I just kind of throw in the fridge in the drawer right by the kitchen.

It's a lighter.I got some twist ties.And she knows.

Better than to go through Brian's actual, like, sock drawer.You don't want to go in there.

No, you really.

Don't.

Really don't.Yeah, it was right.It was in that drawer right under that murder weapon.Then you killed that comic book guy,.

So.No.For a reason.

Okay, back to this.So, anyway, basically, nobody believes Micki except Ryan, of course.Except for the fact that just as they're leaving the sketch, the sheriff's like, that's a really ridiculous story they sold.Except we found this in Trudy's hand.There's a bunch of straw.Straw.That's what she was running through.She was running through the.

Straw.

Straw.Yeah.So maybe a scarecrow.We don't know.Well, we know, but they don't.You know, they don't.

Know.Hold on.Let me just refer.We wake.

Up the next morning, and we go do some research.We talk to the locals.Yeah.

Oh, yeah.Yeah.So they're still trying to talk to the locals, and we're.

We get some more local color in the dialogue.

We sure do.And we also get a cat.This older guy that they're talking to is fabulous.

Very helpful.

He's very helpful.And, like, he also looks like he's barely remembering his lines, but he's still nailing them.

Well, he's barely remembering them and he's missing most of his teeth.

Yeah,.

But this is character actor.Another big horror movie connection here.This guy is Les Ruby, who, really, his only other role was in 1974's Black Christmas.He was one of the search party guys that were bothering Margot Kidder and.

Olivia Husty.

No.

Andrea Martin.

Andrea Martin at the door.Yeah, about the dog.

Comes back around to Black Christmas, too.All right,.

Well, Canada.

Yeah,.

Canada.

Yeah.So he's great.And basically they're just going around asking, you know, they're buying stuff from him.They're all.Since they're here, they're gonna buy antiques as well.So they buy some stuff from him, and he's very happy to sell.They ask, hey, is there anybody around, you know, that might be ab looking to sell stuff?He's like, probably because everybody's crops has gone shit.

You wouldn't happen to know of anyone else who might like to sell things?

Oh, sure.Past few years been mighty heartened farmers.They'd be happy to have a few extra dollars.

Really.We went out to see the cobines and they didn't seem too interested.

That doesn't surprise me.Their crops been sprouting up the past few years.They're hardly in need of any petty cash.Been doing pretty well, huh?Yeah,.

They bought up all the farm drop.Used to be Charlie couldn't raise fleas on a dog

Then all of a sudden, his buck changed overnight by rainstorms who used to wash everyone else out.Never even touched him.Never saw such luck.

Except whose.

The cool beans.

The cool beans.They're growing some cool beans on their farm.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the line is, used to be, Charlie couldn't raise fleas on a dog.I wrote down a lot of lines this episode.

Yeah, yeah.Micki has one of her Micki lines.Because he mentions something.He's like, oh, it's terrible what happened to Charlie Koolbean.You know, he lost his wife last night, poor guy.And Micki goes in total sensitive way.Call back to the cup of Time episode when she was in the morgue.Talked to the police.Have there been any other strange murders around here?

Has there been a lot of violence around here?A lot of murders?

Any other strange, weird act of violence.Like Micki,.

But you know, she's on the case.

And he said no.And the guy said no.And Ryan's like, how about disappearances?And the guy says, yeah, there's been a lot of them.

How about disappearances?People just suddenly missing.Oh well,.

The way the farmers be feeling.Well, some folks just sort of Skip out ahead of the bill collector.

Three a year.

Yeah.Well, he doesn't say that.He just said.Basically says like everybody's crops sucked.Sometimes people just disappear here because they're trying to get away from the bill collectors.So when people disappear, we really don't notice.As a matter of fact, just a few months ago, this really cool dad who had this really cool son.They're always really happy about being poor and that their mom was dead.

Oh, I know their name.I know their name.I wrote it down.It starts with the letter M. Meeno.The minos.

Me knows.

But they were so nice.O. I made money make a face.

You know, I just bet it was the writer going, what am I going to name them?So you're mean.

Yeah.So we find out that the dad and the son have both disappeared.I was like, okay, so we only.

Saw the father die.Where's the son?

Son?

They're going over to check on that.They're going over to check the amino farm to see what's going on in the meantime.

Uh huh.Yeah.

Remember that wall per future wall person that we talked about earlier?

Yeah.

Well, he's out for the day and he's chopping up wood and he has a little rendezvous with Marge.What happens with Marge?

Oh, it's weird.

It's.

Marge.Marge has not just got her hackles up about Trudy.She's very suspicious of these people claiming to be looking for antiques.

Yes,.

You really like that little redhead, don't you boy?I can see it.But she's a wild one.Wild little filly got a breaker for you can ride her breaker good.

She does not like them.

Well, this is one of those other great creepy country lines.She's like.So you like that, that girl, don't you?

You like the redhead.You break her.Break her good.Break.

Her good.She's.

A fine filly, isn't she?Ooh, you gotta break her before you write her.Before you.

Can write her.Break her good.I wrote that line down.

I think we all wrote that down.It was so icky.

Yeah, it was creepy.

And we cut back to the farm and they're investigating.It's weird.There's nobody there.And they split up Ryan's looking around inside, she's looking around outside.She's looking at tomatoes.

There was a bird hiding in the laundry.Jump scare for the bird.

There's an animal that's being thrown in somebody's face.It's gonna be rubies,.

100%.Here, have this grow.

But she's out there perusing around the barn, and what happens?

The scarecrow comes after her.But the thing is, it's dressed really fancy.Has kind of a different mask and no picture pinned to it.

Yeah, this is true.But you don't really notice that at the time because this seems really kind of intense.

Yeah, it's.

Intense.It's threatening.Like, it's actually scary.There's real danger to it.

Because one of the things I noticed about this, this is one of the things that made me stand up and take notice of this episode.This is shot like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Yeah.With the sun.

Behind him, and he's swinging inside.I'm like, this looks like the end of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.And he's even got a leather face, so they know what they're doing.And even though this face, we kind of saw the face with the other two times, and we kind of know what it looks like.It looks more like a Tin man face.But this one was pulled to the side.It looked more like Belial from Basket Case, but you don't really notice because that side is swinging because this fucker's outside and this stunt guy is committed.

And also, it's great.This happens in the sun.Right Sunlit.So it's.

With the sun behind them, so it's lots of silhouettes and stuff.It's very well shot.In the meantime, Ryan's looking around the house, oblivious to what's going on.

Don't split the party, y'.All.

Well,.

Rule number one.Don't you watch Scooby Doo?Don't split up.

It's Ryan and Micki,.

But it turns out he's not alone in the house either.

Nope.

The son jumps out from behind a door and tries to attack Ryan.

Yeah, those poor kids.Been living on his own since his dad got killed.Which is sad.

It's really sad.

And he's so scared, he can't speak anymore.

Yeah.

Fortunately, they eventually hear Micki screaming, and they go out to help her and.But they don't need to, because for some reason, the sheriff has shown up and shoots the scarecrow dead.

Mm.

Because it wasn't the scarecrow.

We pull the mask off, and we reveal.

It was the crazy son.

The.

Sheriff is like, oh, I guess there was some truth to your story.Yeah, thanks.

Yeah, thank.

Yeah.And at this point, I'm like, what a rough day for Charlie.Cool beans.

Yeah.

Just murdering right through his family.

Oh, yeah,.

That is rough.But then again, it turns out he don't care.He kind of deserves it.He kind of deserves it, but we don't know that yet.

Then he swings out of his hip flask.

Yeah.

And again, like the show, he's like, I'm the only police person who shows up, and I'm just gonna let you guys go and just take this kid too.

Yeah.No Child services.

No child services.

Well, they have a discussion about it though, right?Like, Brian tries to stand up for the kid, and he's like, he can come with us.Don't worry.We'll work it out.Like he's trying to keep the kid out of the system.

Looks like there's a little truth to that scarecrow story.Know him since he was born.At least it puts an end to all this.Well, I'm gonna have to talk to Charlie.Man lost his whole family in one night.I'll have to talk to you too.

Look, officer, I don't mind if he stays with me as long as we're in town for a while.

Least got aunt down south somewhere.Might take him a while To track her down.

Yeah.City stranger, take this young boy with you.

Yeah, that's fine.

Strangers from out of town who we've never met before.

Yeah.

Who have been nothing but trouble since they got here.This is the second dead body we found with you people.Please take this child.

At this point, the kid's catatonic.Not even talking.

No, he's not catatonic, but Ryan has had this little bond with him.All of a sudden, Ryan is very protective of this kid.And we don't know.We don't know about his dead brother yet, but this is why.He sees something in this kid that reminds him of his brother.And now he's just super protective of him, which sets up much the rest of the episode.

We go back to the Longacre Inn.We see Marge.

Right, right, right.Oh, oh, we have Ryan tucking the kid in.

Well, I love how he's making the kid.

Tell him a story about stupid thing, that Micki kid.

Well, say he bonds with the kid by shit talking Micki.So great.

Giving him his own.We should.

Talk Micki.It's a good bonding activity.

Oh, I love it is.

We're loud.But he also gives the kid his Illinois state T shirt.

Yes,.

I was like, oh, that's very important because that shirt keeps coming up.That's a very Ryan shirt.And for him to give that up, that was a big thing.So I'm like, okay, that's cool.And that's when, you know, we have that scene with Marge fussing.It's like, yeah.So is he going to be all right?No, no, he's not talking yet.How's the.

Little soldier?

How's the little soldier?

Got him all cleaned up.Thanks for the towels and stuff.

Oh, it's nothing.Looks like a little Christian soldier again, huh?Still hasn't said a word.

No.

Well, I wouldn't wonder after what he's been through.If he pipes up, you give a holler, I'll know just what to do.

You've been great.Thanks.

How's the little soldier?Well, if he starts yammering, you just let me know.I know just what to do.

Oh, yeah, yeah.If he pipes up, give a holler, I'll know just what to do.She must not.

Be happy because, like, this kid's been gone for a while.She must have thought he took off, but this kid can blow this whole.

And he knows.He knows.

He saw her.It turns out he didn't see everything.He just knows about the scarecrow, and he knows about that someone came in and took the head.

At this point, isn't Ryan calling the kid Tiger also?Which I thought that's just a weird thing to call a kid.

He just immediately knows.He has a sense.

My dad called me Tiger.

Yeah, I heard Tiger a lot.I don't think it's weird.

Okay.

I don't think every single kid is Tiger, but I heard Tiger a lot when I grew up.

Okay.Okay.It was just.

Me.It's a 70s dad thing,.

I guess.You're not a tiger.

I was not a tiger.I didn't have a dad growing up.

Sure, Jim.My dad.George.George Glass.

George Glass.George.George.Tropicana.

George Tropicana.There's lots of threat going on.There's lots of.Marge's house of cards keeps getting blown on.

Yep.

It was first run on to Micki and it was Trudy, and now it's his kid.So she's got a lot of possible strikes to.

Robey.Comes in to check in on Ryan and the kid Mino, and then that's when Marge steals Robey's driver's license.

Oh, that's right.

She's making a plan.

Because she left her purse out in the middle of the stairwell in this hotel where it's not in your room.It's just like, what are you doing?Also, I'm thinking, if you're going with the COVID that you are antique buyers, why are you still here?Someone got killed in front of you.Twice.

Yeah.

Go home.Like, what are you staying there for?Unless, I mean, the sheriff didn't even say you guys need to stay around nothing.But anyway, I would have been very suspicious of that.But you're right.

Well, this is when we get the Ryan backstory.After the Mino kid to bed, that's when he levels with Micki about.So I had a brother, and we were playing catch in the yard, and I saw him get hit by a truck right in front of me.And I carry this with me.And I miss him a lot.And this kid reminds me of my brother.

That was just sweet.It's some kid.

He certainly latched onto you almost as though he knew you.

I felt it, too.He reminds me of.Of who?Jimmy.

The one on the baseball.

My brother.We were out playing baseball on the street one day, and this truck came by and jackknifed.I saw it coming and there was nothing I could do.It's hard thing to learn when you're 9 years old that people die and that it's forever.

Jordy reminds you of him, huh?

He doesn't even look a thing.Like James.Bitch.Something.Anyway, what'd you find out?

3 People go missing every harvest.So far this year, only two have Dave Mino and Mrs. Cobine.And the harvest only has two days to go.

Scarecrow has to find another victim, and soon.

It was sweet and it was heavy.And it can be very cheesy writing if that kind of scene isn't delivered.Well.

That's exactly what I was gonna say.Ryan underplays this scene really nicely.

Yes.

He does not play morose or anything.He just gives everything flat, matter of fact.Which is what a dude, a dude in.

The 80s.

In this situation would do.Like, I'm just.I'm just telling the story.It's fine.Yeah, yeah, yeah.I'm really attached to this kid, but I can't really come out and say it like that.Cause, you know, I'm a guy, and that's not cool.I can't say that this kid reminds me of the brother that's dead, because that's just too tragic.But he plays it very nicely.Yeah.So again, bravo for Ryan.

Yeah.

Bravo for Ryan.

Good directing.

Oh, yeah.So now Micki, now they come back downstairs to go do something.I don't know, whatever.They're gonna do to investigate something.And Micki realizes, oh, no, My driver's license is gone.Oh, no,.

What?My license is missing.When was the last time you saw it?I don't know.Yesterday.

The picture was on it.

My dad, he lost a picture a couple days before.

Mrs. Cobein.Her picture was pinned to the shirt of that.

That must be how the scarecrow finds its victims.Nikki, we've got to get you someplace safe.The sheriff's just in case.

And we learned that three people go missing every harvest.The.

Kid starts talking.The kid comes out and starts talking.He's like, that's cause the thing.That's how it works.Starts telling him everything goes on, gives him the whole story.And we fade the commercial and come back and we get it midway.And I got confused here because they were talking about.And I saw it at the door.And it was wearing a black raincoat and a hat.It took me three times through the episode, realizing, he's not talking about the scarecrow.

Yeah.

He's talking about the person who took the hat.

Yeah.

They didn't make that clear.But again, it's one of those things I don't mind because it's making you do work.

I didn't have an issue with it.Honestly.

I'm stupid.Dan, it's all right.

Yeah.That's what we say when you're not here with us.That's the first thing we.

Say.I heard you.The second I walked away, I heard you.I have my headphones turned.I'll have to be quieter.

Hey, Maya.

Yeah?Don't.

Patrick.It's kind of stupid.

Just a little bit around the edges, though, right?

If you do it.

Like Robey, I'll never hear it.

That's what I'm doing.I'm Robey.I'm Robey.

He's just a little stupid.

Stupid?I adore Patrick.

Oh, right.So, yeah.

All right.So Charlie grows a conscience.

Micki's in danger.Micki's been targeted.We know.This is how it works.It needs a picture.

Yes,.

Because Micki realized.That's right.That's right.I saw Trudy's picture pinned to its jacket when I saw it on the stoop that night.So she realized, fuck, I'm being targeted.What are we gonna do?So he said, why don't you go off with Sheriff Fake Tom Atkins?

Yes.

Well, I take this traumatized child to go stomp around in an abandoned barn, middle of the night.

I know.Okay, but wait,.

We're skipping Mr. Coolbeans and Marks.He finds the note from when they first came, and he goes to call them, he resolves to do the right thing.And we have another jump scare where the tree taps against his window.And he's worried it's the scarecrow.But we, the audience, know that scarecrow is going after Micki.

Micki.

Yeah.But then Marge shows up.

Well, no, he goes to the barn.

Yeah, he goes to.

Marge's barn.And what I loved about this scene, every time we come here, they're totally playing on My Bloody Valentine.

Mm, mm.

That scene with all the miners outfits hanging up in that locker room.

Yeah.

It's this barn that's full of scarecrows hanging from the ceiling.

Looks very cool.

And FYI, not all of them are scarecrows.

Nope.Couple of dead body.

Yeah,.

Yeah.

But, yeah.So they.He confronts Marge, and we start to find out that there have been in cahoots this whole time, that Marge has been controlling the scarecrow.And you get good crops from it.She's been cutting them in on it.So they know.

Yeah,.

She's been cutting them in.But we also learned there's some shady business.She actually bought up all the farms.It wasn't the cool beans at all.

There's something that we're missing because the cool beans bought the scarecrow, but somehow it wound up with Marge.And Marge is a dead end.The cool.

Beans bought the scarecrow.And then our locals said that the cool beans bought up a bunch of local farms.But then in this scene, it sounds like Marge bought up all the farms, but made it look like it was the cool beans.

Yeah, yeah.But there was a transference of power for that scarecrow that we don't know anything about.So at some point, it didn't call to Charlie,.

It called to Marge.

Exactly.Cause Marge is evil enough.

And she figured it out, probably killed her husband.And like, listen, listen.You know about this scarecrow.I can either do this to you or I can cut you in and you shut up.This thing doesn't just give you good crops.It makes sure that nobody else gets good crops.

Yeah.It's your sum.

Yeah,.

Yeah.

But doesn't Charlie also figure out that the scarecrow killed his wife?That she killed his wife?

He mentions that.He's like, you've killed off my whole family.

Yeah.And then he makes out with her.

And then she makes the bold play to seduce him.She picks up a blade, walks over and starts, like, just laying it on really thick.And the dumbass goes for it.And then she stabs it.

Now, Charlie, why don't you just scurry on back to your hole.

You killed my wife.

And my boy too. You brought him here and you dressed him up

You have him come over to Mino's place.he would have never done anything like that on his own.

Well, it stops here.Marge, it stops right here.Well,.

Listen to the big noise.Hurry up.All right, all right, Charlie.Don't get so head up, Marty.You are a good looking man.You.You keep away.Charlie.I swear to you, I never meant to hurt you or yours.I never did.Lord, I brung that tea for Nick all the time when he was feeling so bad.And I paid you good when you was gonna sell cheap, didn't I?And didn't I always make sure you got in a good crop every year?Didn't I?Well, then, come on now with that.That gun down and let's have some fun.

He does it, though.He's frozen.He's backing up the whole time.And she just attacks him.He's.

Backing up, but I don't know.I feel like he could have turned.He could have.She gets his lips on his face, like.Yeah.

And her scalloped collar touching his.

Oh,.

Yeah.Her neck labia.But what I thought was so grizzly about the scene because she's got this big old hay baling hook hidden behind the wall.Is that what.

That is?I was like, meat hook, question mark.

Hay baling hook,.

Hay bale hook.Okay.

Yeah.And she's kissing him and rams it into his back.What I thought was great and grizzly was that there was a good two seconds before he screamed after the thing hit his back.

Yeah.

That was very grisly.And real.Cause you know how it is when you get hurt.Like, initially there's a shock, but then the hurt comes later.

Yeah.It's multiple waves.And I feel like you can feel it radiate and bounce back through your body.

Yeah, yeah.And the.

Sound effect was gross.There was puncture noise.

Yeah, yeah.Cause what's surprising about this movie, you see a lot of people get decapitated and there's never any splat.You think this would be a movie where you'd see like the walk.

Okay.We mentioned the blood in the line, though.The sheriff is like, finally get all the blood off your pork torch, Marge.Like, it's weird.

It's amazing what a little lemon juice can do.

Oh,.

Yeah.Marge is my favorite villain so far.Hand down, hands down.Her and Helen.

Yeah,.

Yeah.So she's killed another one.And meanwhile, Micki's off.Micki's off at the sheriff.

Oh, she goes full Micki in this scene, though.

Bizarre choices, Micki.

People around here don't talk a whole lot, do they?

Not unless they got something to say.

Well, that would make it kind of easy to.

Keep a secret.

I mean, if people never say anything, that is assuming that people do have secrets.

Oh, I got lots of secrets.

She's, like.She's, like, casually walking around the office, like, touching shit she shouldn't be touching, like, opening doors.What are you doing, Micki?

Detective walk.

You people around here keep a lot of secrets.You don't talk a lot.I guess it's really easy to keep secrets if you don't talk.I'm gonna ruffle through.He's right there, Micki.

She don't care.

Neither does he.He's on to her.

Yep.

He's just like, whatever,.

Whatever.Can I get you something?Coffee?Water?Are you cold?She's, like, visibly shivering, doing the.Give me her jacket.And he's like, I'll get you a blanket.He goes into a closet, and she sees that he has a rain slicker hung up on the door.And she goes, oh, no, he's the murderer.And locks him in the closet.

Stupid Micki.

Again.Jack, stand.

In.Jack, stand in.It would have been Jack.Jack in the closet.

Oh, that would have been too on the nose for us.

Well, it's happened once already.It happened in the Grand Montaro.

Yeah, you're right.You're right.

Well, notice that when she did that, there was, like, a calendar on the wall that said it was the 13th.

It was the 13th.It was Friday the 13th.

I was like, okay, there you go.

On the biggest page a day calendar ever.Exactly.Huge.It was huge.And it was the 13th.Meanwhile, Ryan's taking the traumatized kid for a tour of the spooky barn to look for a murderer.Because what could possibly go wrong?This poor kid.This poor kid, who, by the way, who, by the way, huge voiceover career.He's done voices on all the Assassin Creed games.

Okay, cool.

Oh, yeah, he's continued to work as an adult.I stalked him.

Yeah.Mm.Mm.So good for him.And while they're out and about, that's when we find out that some of the scarecrows up in the ceiling aren't scarecrows.Wonderfully creepy scene because they're just blowing in the wind.There was one of them.I'm like, is that a pinata?That scarecrow looks more like a pinata, but whatever.

Speaking of the wizard of Oz, what is hanging from the ceiling?

Oh, Charlie.

Charlie.

His makeup's great.He's really.He's all.His face is all great.They did a good job on him.It looks like he's been hanging up there and it's bled out.It's just gross.It's gross.Oh, what happens here?I forgot.This is what Micki comes party.I forgot how they all meet.

Up.There's a chase scene before we get back to the inn, and I don't remember exactly what it is.

Leaving Micki alone again,.

Charlie.No, but Micki was separate.Micki goes,.

Oh, they sent her back to the.They sent her back to the farm.Cause for some reason, they don't suspect Marge.

No.

We make it back to the Longacre Inn.Micki's left.

There alone.

Well, and there's a nasty chase scene.And, like, it seems like it's gonna go really poorly for Micki.She's fighting with everything she has.Then she has the idea.She sits up and grabs her idea off the scarecrow and it slumps down.

Yes.

It no longer has a quest.And, like, Micki's done all these dumb things so she can save her smarts for this one scene.

Well, what was great before that was that Marge is like, oh, you poor thing.You poor thing.You should lie down.Come lie down.Take a rest.It's fine.It's fine.You just rest.I'll be outside if you need me.Click locks a red.And Micki freaks out.

Oh, yeah.

That's when Micki knows something's up.

You just look like you walked on your own grave.No, no, I'm okay.In fact, I'm fine.

You haven't seen Ryan, have you?

No, honey.

No, hardly.

It's just us girls.

Marge, I really appreciate what you're doing.Yes,.

You just relax.That's something.

You.

City folks never see, seem to learn.That's it.You just lay back.I'll take care of everything.

Marge, you lock the door.Micki freaks out.And she's trying the door.She tries Ryan's adjoining jor.And the fucking scarecrow sits up out of her bed.

Oh, that was creepy.Yeah, he's, like, covered in the sheet and just sits up.Yeah,.

And this is when I'm like, this is.This is when a scythe was not a good weapon for these indoor shots.

No,.

He can never get a good swing.He's not as menacing as he was outside.And that wasn't even him.But anyway, not the point.It's still great because she's like, it's a small room with a guy with a scythe.It's really bad.And fucking Marge is in the next Room knitting.Like,.

Just waiting.Waiting for this to transpire.And then.Right.It's during that fight scene.We get.We get Ryan and the Mino kid back,.

But Ryan is actually heroic in a really spastic kind of way.

Yeah.I will come to that.Yeah.

Oh.Cause he.Cause the kid is.

This is coming up.This is happening in the farmhouse.No, I got this.I got this.I got this.I got this.This all goes on with Micki in the room.She pulls the.Actually, no, it comes.It all tumbles downstairs.Like, she comes running down the stairs.The scarecrow comes out.The kid and Ryan come in.There's fighting.There's fighting.Ryan's fighting it.Micki's on his back, pulls off the picture, and it collapses.

Immediately.Immediately.And that's.

When Marge comes bursting out.Marge is doing her knitting, and she pulls out of her yarn the biggest scissor I have ever seen.

It's.

The biggest fucking fabric shears I have ever seen.It's like 12 inch blade.

Yeah.But that was a really good jump scare.Cause there's quiet.They're saying she just barrels out, like, just.

Yeah.And she stabs the sheriff.

Yep.

I think somebody in a police uniform.Because in the next day, at the end of the thing, the sheriff's walking around like he's fine.I don't know what happened.I'm just gonna assume it was some other.

And this is also when we knew that Micki's headband is askew.So we know she's really in trouble.

Yes.As we cut to the commercial, like, when she's like, ah.On her face, my headband's slightly skew.I'm in danger.

But this is where Ryan gets to be heroic, though, because Marge is threatening the kid with the giant fabric shears.Not either of them.And his brother instinct kicks in.

Yeah.

And he, like, goes after Marge.

Yeah.

This was a great moment because this actually echoed something that happened in Vanity's mirror at the prom, where they're confronting Helen and her date for the evening.And she's like.He had the same reaction where he just kind of went.And his head tilts to the side.He closes his eyes for a second and just pounces with his eyes closed.

Yeah.Okay.He did the same thing here.

I thought it was a bad choice in Vanity's Mirror, but here it really worked.Like, he's just like, I have no fucks left.I have no fucks left to give.My body's doing this, and even my mind's probably going, no, no, no.But my heart's going, take this bitch out.And he gets the kid away from her.There's more fighting.

Oh, yeah.My favorite thing in a bad fight scene is a piggyback on the villain.So Robey is riding him around before she manages to rip her ID off.

Yeah.

Yeah.Well, that happened before, but this is the second battle where they're fighting and they're fighting.Oh, no, no, no.Marge and Ryan are fighting.Maybe Micki gets involved.I don't know.But somebody hits the wall.And what happens when he hits the wall?That pitcher Margaret comes tumbling off the wall, lands in the scarecrow,.

And he just perks up immediately.

He perks up immediately.

Yeah.

Huh.And she's.She's.Marge is about to come, and she's got that scissors ready to go.She's about to take out one of them.I forget who.It doesn't matter.All of them.But she's all primed up in the stabbing position.And I was surprised Micki didn't go behind you like she does in other episodes.

Oh, yeah.Oh, yeah.They let her die.They're like, okay,.

Marge didn't seem.

There's enough time.And you can see them both think about it.While the scarecrow is getting up, they're both like, well, this will take care of our problem, won't it?

Well, also, it's not enough time to register, like, who's it after?I would probably still assume it's after me.

Fair enough.

Shock.Whatever.Whatever.For whatever reason, they don't warn her.Marge never sees it coming.

Nope.

And her head gets lopped off.And once again, once that head's off, that scarecard just.

Drops.

Tumbles.It doesn't even drop.It just does this lovely collapse as life just slowly ooze.And it just lays down.My job is done.

Yeah.

So they got the scarecrow.

Mm.

And like I said, it was a whole big thing.Like, they let you do so much work on your own in this, and I enjoyed that.And.And the tag scene, which is very brief, was them driving out of town.

Well, first of all, first, before that, they're getting the car.They have the kid with the sheriff.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.There's all that stuff.Yeah.Oh, Ryan.There's the goodbye scene with the kid.

Tiger.

Tiger.And Ryan gives him his baseball, and he's like, this reminds me of my brother.I want you to have it.I think you're really good.Be a good kid.

Yeah.Sweet.

Yeah.Sorry for the trauma.

Yeah.

Sorry for all the trauma that we didn't exactly.Cause.

You can touch my balls.

Only one of them.Just this one.Just one.

It's one big one.Big one.And, yeah, they drive off in the sunset while the kid goes to live with his aunt downstate.

Wait, wait, don't we have to mention the closing shot where they drive by the stand with the skirt?I was about to.I was about to.Because this is one of those.

Lines.This is one of the closings that everybody loves.

It's so good.

Because.Because they're leaving and Ryan has one of those awful.Let's wrap it up.Actually later, literally, he says, well, that about wraps that up.Casually discussing, you know, dismissing all the horror and murder that had gone on.And Micki's just playing with her fabulous hair.And she goes, well, I just have one question.

After it killed all those people, what did it do with the head?

Silence, creepy music.The car drives by, that wonderful shot of the field with the sun going down behind it.Again, brilliant shot.Gorgeous shot.

Gorgeous shot.

And we're zooming in.We're zooming in.You're like, oh, there's the scarecrow post.Scarecrow post.And just before the credits go, the scarecrow post just tumbles,.

Falls over him.

End of show.

Gorgeous, gorgeous,.

Gorgeous show.Of course, I realized watching this, I'm like, we know what happened with the head.She took the heads.The scarecrow didn't take the head.

Did she take the head?Oh, yeah, she took the head.She took the head.

She took the guy's head.

But Micki don't know what happened.So she doesn't know about.

I know that, but people love that line.It's really spooky.I'm like, but didn't have that.I just figure, I get there.I'm doing Headcanon.I'm like.I think.Because based on what we saw in the first scene, I'm like, she took that head.And next thing you see, you see her in that field doing her thing with her arms up in the air.She had to bury that head,.

Probably.But yeah, because she asked what did it do with all the heads?So we don't know what it did with what she did.Puppet show.Well, she's by herself, you know.

Yeah, I know, I know.But it's a great spooky line.

Yeah.

And if Jack was there, he'd be like, well, you know, shut up.

Oh, it'd be something about head shrinking tribes.Yeah.

And the thing that we missed.The thing that we missed was that it is implied Micki comes back from the sheriff's office after locking the clutches with information that she got from the sheriff that we didn't hear from the sheriff.She goes.I found out that three people disappear every harvest.

What'd you find out?

Three people go missing every harvest.So far this year, only two have Dave Mino and Mrs. Cobine.And the harvest only has two days to go.

Scarecrow has to find another victim and soon.

Three people disappear every year and during the harvest time.And harvest ends tomorrow.And only two people have disappeared this year.So we know that three people have to disappear in order for a good crop to come in next year.So that was another time ticking time bomb for March.She had to get another head tonight.And I just think she buries them because we see her out in that field after she took the head.She doesn't have the head with her.She did something.

They could sublimate.They could transubstantiate.

Well, she was making her little soothing stuff.

Oh, yeah.Maybe they go into the baked goods.

Yep.Mind the priest.

The Milo family's a little gamey.That scarecrow.This is a great episode.

It was good.

Very creepy episode.

Marge was a great villain.

Marge is great.

Well, I just love.She's cool as a clam.

Let me ask you this.Do you think the show could have survived if Jack wasn't in it.

Long term?No.

Yeah.

This only works as a break.We have to come back to the structure.And I need someone who, like, knows the history of every stupid thing.

Yeah.

Without him, there was no bridge.

Yeah.

For them figure it.To figure out what was going on.It would have taken 10 episodes for them to figure out what was going on and to believe it.

Yeah.

Right?Yeah.

Jack presents everything so rationally.Air quotes that you have to believe it.

Well, he's the authority figure.Whatever.

Jack says, you don't doubt,.

Right?Yeah.Because I liked the episode.I did feel like it was missing something.

Well, it's like a vacation.You can't do it all the time,.

Right?

No.No.Meanwhile, Jack's like, yeah.Icarus Feather.Did you guys get the scarecrow?Good for you.I'll be back in a couple.And when I say Icarus Feather, I really mean Antonio.I licoriced his feather.What?I got nothing.I got nothing.Good episode.Yay.10.Yay.You know what, kids?I think it's time that we share our alternate castings and alternate curses.Yay.The back of the bus wasn't enthused.Fuck them.They're all high.

Not right now.

Trae.Do you have an alternate casting?An alternate curse for us?

When I first saw the actress I swore she was Wendy Robbie from Twin Peaks, who played Nadine, the woman with the eye patch.

Nice.She looks.

Just like her.So it's.I don't know, celebrity casting, but cult casting, I think would be great.

Yeah, yeah, that works.That works.

And then I do like the idea of a.A scarecrow that as your.Well, they never implied it, but as your crops get better, I guess the crops do die.So I never.You all talk about yourself and often think of an alternate curse.

Coming back to Trae.Maya Le Wanami.

Oh, well, I want to swap out our sheriff for porn stash.More.Just a new black Pablo Schreiber.And also, bonus points, he's Canadian.Hey.Hey.

Well, yeah, I like that.That sounds good.Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

Good idea, guy.Good idea, buddy.Okay.My initial alternate casting was Amy Sedaris in the role of Marge.Ooh.But I had to say, no, I can't do that.I already used amy Sedaris in Dr. Jack to play the flower girl.The flower lady.She's.

Doing everything.

I know.But then I'd just be using her all the time, so I have to challenge.So I pulled it back and I said, you know what?No, let's not make her comic.Let's keep all this, like, well contained, well maintained rage and pseudo elegance of Marge with a little bit of Piper Laurie.

Oh, yeah.Oh, yeah.

Okay,.

So we both got the Twin Peaks thing going.

Oh, yeah.How about that?Yeah, yeah, yeah.And she'd be right about the right age for this at this point.

Yeah.If.

You don't know the time.Well, I need a.

Time warp for mine, but whatever.

But then I ruined it with my alternate curse, because my alternate curse would be you put a picture of the scarecrow of somebody on the scarecrow, and then Kate Jackson would appear and chop off that person's head.So you'd have The Scarecrow and Mrs. King.

Mrs. King.

So my alternate curse, because we had briefly mentioned the wizard of Oz, obviously, for context reasons, is that you get the picture.Put on the scarecrow, and then you are required to move like an absurd dancer until you work yourself to death.

Oh.

Just throw yourself in the.

Fences and stuff and be like, why am I dancing?Why is it funny?Where is their music?

Until you blow up.Yeah.Just like on the music Buffy episode.Yeah.I love that.

My curse would be you put a photo of someone on the scarecrow and that person finds themselves compelled to walk to the scarecrow and cross impale themselves on it and act as a scarecrow while the crows Come and pick at them.

Oh, damn it, Trae.You win.

Oh, it's the pumpkin head curse.Now you're the new scarecrow.You get to cut off the next ad.Nice.Nice.That's a good one.Oh, that's grim.

That's good.I like that.That's way better.

Kate Jackson.Approved.And I also realized this is a milestone episode because it proved me right.I.

Mean, you're frequently right.

I knew.

I was right.I knew I wasn't crazy.Well, not in that way.

What are you right about today?Patrick.

Proved them wrong.

Thank you.I was gonna hold on to this like Dr. Loomis.I don't care if nobody believes me.The cursed objects cannot be destroyed.Because Ryan says it in this episode when they are leaving the Colby's house.They.

Were lying through their teeth, burnt in a crab fire.We know the antiques can't be destroyed.We found that out the hard way.

He realizes that they're lying because they said it was destroyed in a fire.And he says, mickey, they're lying.The cursed objects can't be destroyed.Don't you remember what happened last time?

We were right.The thing that we extrapolated was right.Yeah,.

Right.The thing that we extrapolated was right.And Trae and I did some head canning when you were not here.

Because.

I'm like, I can't think of a specific incident in the show,.

But actually, last time,.

There was something really loud going by the street.But last time when we were at the Tales of the Undead, I remembered Ryan had to pull the comic book out of the fireplace.And if it came out non singed, not destroyed in any way, that would have been a hint.Which explains why they're.

Keeping everything in a big vault.Because he can't get rid of it.Mm.Which means somewhere.

Validation.Validation.I love it.

Which means somewhere down there in Curious Goods basement, there's a big mulcher.

Yeah, where are they storing that mulcher for real?There's.

A big mulcher.And, like, Vita's like, you're not my real dad.Bring me the cursed dildos.I'm bored.I need satisfaction.

Well, the thing is, like, do the cursed items, like, hang out with each other in, like, Toy Story style?Kind of run around?

They do.And they probably just talk about Micki's head.They're like, did you see what she's wearing today?Oh, my God.Oh, my God.

Well, which curse item do you think is, like, the leader?And which one's the outcast?Vita's the leader.

I think it's Vita.At this point.It's Vita.

Yeah, I guess it's a boxing club.Between the Outcast just hanging around.Sad.

Just the two in the Avita pose the whole time.

We're gonna have to do a toy story of this show.A Toy Story version.Author Chris Topcheck having their little adventures.

And poor ghost radio in the corner just waiting for his episode to come up.

Well, the scalpel and the pen just trying to work their way up to the little keyhole pried open.

I just want to take a moment to reflect on how far this show has come in a very short time.

Yes, let's.

Think back to, shall we?Cupid's Quiver.

No, let's not think back to Cupid's Quiver.That episode was a mess, and I was worried about what you had gotten me into.

Let's think about Halloween, shall we?

I kind of like telling.

It was.It was not boring.

It's not boring, but it's so not this episode either.No, it's not.And I'm not saying it's smooth sailing ahead, but they are in a really sweet spot right now that we're going to stay in for a while because, you know, Vanity's Mirror hasn't happened yet.

Yeah,.

It's coming up.

Yeah.

But it'll be after next month because.What's next month?

I heard we're getting to the Cronenberg episode.

Cronenberg,.

Cronenberg, Cronenberg, Cronenberg.

It's beginning to look a lot like Cronenberg.Oozing puffs, jewels.

Also, probably the body.

Horror will make you scream.Yeah, so it's Cronenberg next time.And it's going to be a great time.

Bing Bong Patchy from the future here, speaking to you from 2026, I wanted to say a very special thank you to all of you who've been a supporter of the Scream Queens Potterverse over on Patreon, because you've kept things going and you've helped this show grow.And plus all the other shows that we do here on Scream.

Queens.

Potterverse Network like it came from the 70s and all those classic episodes of Scream Qu that have been released, none of this could be done without you and I thank you.And for the rest of you who aren't subscribers, I hope you're enjoying season one of Damian Lewis.But did you know that Damian Lewis was originally designed to be a Patreon exclusive podcast?The only way to hear it was to become a patron.And it's only recently that we've decided to make things Public.So if in the interim you've gotten hooked on Friday the 13th the series and you can't wait to hear another episode, well, well, we're all the way in season three over on Patreon.So if you would like to catch up, please consider becoming a patron.Because not only do you get to jump to season three, you get early release for all the new episodes for all the scream queens plottaverse shows.You get everything a month early.And plus, you'll also get the undying thanks of me, Maya, Trae, and our sidekick, Secret Agent Boots.So please consider heading over to patreon.com screamqueens and becoming a patron.It's just one flat fee.Now, $10 gets you everything, so please consider it.Bing bong back to the show.I want to say thank you to Casey Lowman from Evil Goods Design for our cool logo.Thank you to Sam Haynes for our theme song Sinister Dark Wave remix, which you can get over@bandcamp.com as well as all Sam's music.I want to say thank you to Tradeen and Maya Murphy, my fantastic co host.

And Maya, I'm just going to say this to you.This is my holiday wish for you next Thursday since you're a vegetarian.When you eat, eat free as a bird, but no turkey.

Patrick.We.

Waited all episode for that.

Patrick, how long have you been sitting on that?

Since last night.We tried to record this last night, but the Internet was bad.

Freezing bird, but no turkey.

Yeah, you did.Thank you.Thank you for that.

That was a really foul joke.

It really was.So, from everybody here at the Curious curious shop me.That's Maya, that's Trae.Thank you.Have a happy holiday.Keep it safe, and we'll see you next month for David Cronenberg Month.Buff.Before we get off this, boss, we got one thing to say to you.Damn you, I'm Uncle Willis.I can't believe it.I can't hear.

It.

Okay, I think after a certain amount of time, if the car alarm has been going off, you should just be able to take it.

Yeah, you should.It's.

Yours now.

You listen to it long enough,.

You pass the test.It's your car.

Alarm.No one has responded.It's mine now.Okay.

This probably won't be in the episode, but do y' all watch Star Trek Discovery?

I don't have that.

Streaming.

Service, so I have to.

I don't pay for cbs.I don't like cbs.I don't like their politics, so I don't give them any extra money,.

But so they're in the future.Now, one of the characters Michelle Yeoh plays basically the Empress of the Terrans in the mirror universe.No, Michelle Yeoh was the Bond girl.

Okay, so Michelle Yeoh's on first, Kelly was on second,.

Who's on third.No, Michelle Yeoh was in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.But so she's this great.She's the empress of the dark, the mirror universe that Star Trek always has and now she's in our world.So she's this very playfully evil spy.And so they're now.They're like a thousand years in the future, permanently.And this some shadowy government figure goes to talk to her and she's the villains.And she's finally met someone who causes her to lose her.Cool.Like the one person who scares her.And it's played by David Cronenberg.

Oh, okay.

Okay, cool.

And it's played by Poland.

What is.

With this guy?He's so weird.He freaks me out, but I kind of like it.

But it was really cool to see David Cronenberg play a very.Know.He's the sinister head of Starfleet, kgb.And she's the big.How we.

Have Werner Herzog and Mandalorian.

Yeah, very much like that.