Damn You, Uncle Lewis #11 - "Tales of the Undead"

Oh, hello.Come in, come in, come in.Do come in out of the terrible weather.Oh, welcome.Welcome to my very curious curio shop.Although I hate to inform you the shop is closed for tonight because there's a.Well, it's a rather special evening.It's a monthly meeting of sorts.So unless you're here for the meeting, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.The nature of the meeting, you ask.Well, let me put it to you this way.Sometimes Uncle Lewis does dreadful things.Welcome to Damn you, Uncle Lewis, the Friday the 13th series retrospective podcast.So welcome back, my beautiful screamers.Welcome back to my very curious curio shopDon't touch anything because the store is not open at this time.Nothing is available for purchase.And besides, you can't afford it anyway.And it's all evil.But anyway, that's at the point right now.Please come in, Please come in.If you're here to do some antique shopping, get the fuck out.We're closed.However, if you're here to talk shit about Uncle Lewis, well, step on in, step on in.Pull up to the Bumpa baby and grab a cocktail and join us in our luxurious back room.It's right that way.Yeah, I know there's no lights in there.It's a back room.What do you expect?Just feel around until you find someplace to sit and just ease on down.Ease on down.Nobody starts singing the Wiz.Cause it just ruined this whole thing.

I played the yellow brick road in the Wiz.Thank you.

Wait, whose voice was that?

Ease on down the rod.

Okay, nobody panic.Nobody panic.Just because I know you're hearing voices right now in the dark.

It's okay.

It's just my highly trained, super sassy fellow shopkeeps, Maya Murphy and Trae Dean.All right, all right, all right.Enough of this chit chat.Because hear ye hear ye hear ye

This meeting of the We Hate Uncle Lewis Club is called to order.Order.

Order.Order.Order.

Order.

Order.The episode we are talking about today is Tales of the Undead.Tales of the Undead was directed by Lyndon Chubbuck.This is the first of three of his visits to Friday the 13th, the series to Tattoo and Brain Drain, both heavy hitters.Here's a fairly prolific TV director who worked on show south and Alienation.And for some reason, Tales of the Undead had not one, not two, but three completely different writers.First of all, it was Bill Taub, who we have met twice before.He wrote Inheritance and Halloween, followed by Mark Scott Zicree, who is a sci fi writer who we've Also met before he wrote Dr. Jack.And coming up, he wrote Scarecrow and Pipe Dream and riding at the Trio, we have Paul Monette, who also wrote Bedazzled, coming up later this season.So the episode that we're talking about today is called Tales of the Undead, and oddly doesn't have any undead in at all.So it's a really short deal.Just kidding.It's.You can't see it in here because it's a darkroom.Because it's the back room.If you really.Well, I wouldn't recommend this, but if you would be able to, like, feel around and feel Maya shirt, which I wouldn't recommend doing without consent.

I'll Break your hand.

You would feel the braille that says that it's a Comic Con T shirt.

Yeah, it's got smog on it.Says New York Comic Con 2015.

Yeah, because this really would have been probably.Would have been Comic Con weekend here in New York and probably in la.Did it happen the same time?

No.

No, no.Whatever.Well, whatever, fake nerd.

I rendered Patrick speechless.

This will never happen again.

Nope.No, he's not going to cry.

It's not my scene, all right?They're not my people, okay?

It's a lot of people.

Not my people.But it doesn't matter.Because if you're missing Comic Con anywhere, missing going to any kind of convention, well, you're in luck, because this whole episode is dedicated to the wonderful world of the funny papers.The yucky, the comic book.

Those are not the same thing.But I'm just gonna let you have it.

You know, he's on a roll.Just, you know, let him.Let him have his fun.

I'm a fake nerd.I just make things up.I'm posing.

So noted.

Okay, since I know Trae did it last time.Maya, it's your job.Please tell our fabulous visitors here today, what is the cursed item and what is its evil function?

The cursed item is a first print edition of the comic book Tales of the Undead and Its Power.Oh, it's autographed by its creator, whose name is Jay Star, and its powers that if you are in possession of this comic book, you can turn into the hero, villain, question mark, invincible robot named Ferrus.And you can use his robot powers to, like, I don't know, lay the smackdown on others.

And it can also lip sync to twist and shout in a parade.That just happens.Don't save this, Ferrus.Don't not save this.Do not save this, Ferrus.No, no, no.It's a bad deal.So we're delving into the wonderful world of comic books and how they can be evil.Thanks, Uncle Lewis.We can't have fun with anything.

He ruins everything.

Oh, speaking of which, we got some.Listener, mail.

Listener.We have listeners?

Oh, cool.

All right.

Allegedly.Which I don't have in front of me because I'm a horrible host, but I remember the gist of it.It's from Miss Jelly Belly Kelly.Hi.Jelly Belly Kelly.And Jelly Belly Kelly wanted to point out we were talking last time in the episode Root of All Evil.Where exactly was the mulcher on display so that Uncle Lewis could sell it to whatever his name was?Something Irish.O'.Hanlon.Right, right, right.Jelly Belly kind of wanted to point out that there is a huge extra room that was discovered in the episode Halloween where, like, it was like, the wall just like.And there was, like, a dead body back there.And, like, we don't use that for extra space.

It's like, library looking room, right?

Yeah, there's a library room back there which, like, hey, we have this extra space to put shit out now.We're not gonna use it for anything.

We broke down the set, and we never put it up again.

Nope, nope, nope.No.Now it's in storage.Sorry.But anyway, she pointed that out, but she also said that she and her wife, they actually run an antique store and have for many, many years.And they say when they have larger items like that, the place that they sell it.The flea market.

Hey, I feel so legit that real antiquers listen to us.

So do they happen to sell cursed antiques?

Well, they wouldn't be able to tell you.Geez, that's true.

Do they have a big ledger?They can turn to any page and find exactly what they're looking for.

Well, you see, it wasn't on our comic book.It was under magazine.So this episode, we had to turn to two pages.

It was an email.It wasn't, you know, a Civil War letter.Dearest Marjorie, the flea market has been so dismal since I've been out.Hard tax all.We eat, and we break our teeth on it every time Audrey asks.Oh, I miss.Ow.I miss your sweet potato pod.

No, I don't want to be in the Civil War all night.I don't want to do it.

And we're back.Okay, so thank you.Thank you.Thank you for the insight, Jelly Bell Kelly.Appreciate that.The cast in this episode is bananas.

Very good.

We have.

We.

I mean, we have the biggest star that this show has had on yet to date, and it's not like someone who's a genre star or someone who's going to be famous later on.This is already somebody who was a legend.Two time Tony winner for Best Actor, two time Emmy winner for Best Supporting Actor.Maya, who am I talking about?

I didn't write down his actual name.

You are so fired.Ray Walston.The legendary Ray Walston.

I get a little dyslexic.I mix letters around.I didn't want to be wrong.I knew him growing up as Mr. Applegate from damn Yankees because he's the best song in the show.

And coincidentally, he plays the devil in Damn Yankees.And here he is being evil.

Pretty evil again.

Devilish.

He could probably give Uncle Lewis some tips.Please don't give Uncle Lewis any tips.He's doing bad enough stuff as it is.Yeah, so if you don't know who Ray Walston and he was.Ray Walston is.He was Mr. Han in fast Times at Ridgemont High, My Favorite Martian.And Luther Billis in the movie South Pacific for you old musical theater queens.Okay, so for me, it's Luther Bailis in South Me and Maya.

I was allowed to rent that video.

Horror movie stuff.He was in Popcorn and Galaxy of Terror.That's the other big one.And there's one more.There's two more people worthy of interest in this guest.Maya, did you recognize anyone in this?

I found myself staring at the young kid from the opening of the episode a lot, and I just couldn't put my finger on it.

Well, that's funny, Maya, because we just talked about him on the podcast in June.That'd be actor David Hewlett, who starred in the Shape of Water.He was the guy who was Octavia Spencer and the mute woman's boss before Michael Shannon came in.Nerdy guy who didn't like bad language.

Well, fuck him.

That's a hoot.You know what?I would.

He's another one with a fantastic career.And for horror fans and sci fi fans, he was in Cube.He was a guy who knew was the head of the inside detail, who actually helped build the Cube.Everybody hated that guy who's in the movie pin with the creepy mannequin thing.And he was on stargate for about 3,000 years.But don't tell Maya that.She will not like him anymore.

Okay, I don't dislike Stargate.I just.I'm not cracking open a new franchise.I can't.I don't have room in my brain.

Boundaries.Maya, set her boundaries.Do not cross her boundaries or she will slap your face.Okay, one more person Worth mentioning.It's guy you wouldn't recognize, won't recognize his name, and he will recognize his face.But when I looked up his IMDb, my jaw fell out.This is the guy.

He.

In this episode, he plays the guy who runs the comic book publishing company.His name is David Clement.And he really hasn't.You wouldn't.Last time he appeared in a movie was, like, 1974.Just a little movie you probably haven't heard of.Worked it with some guy named Bob Clark.He'll produce it.And he was in the cast.Was it Black Christmas?Never heard of it.

No.What is it?

It's the best movie ever.It is my favorite horror movie of all time.

You're making fun of me for not having heard of a movie.I'm sorry, guys.

No, I'm not making fun of you.I'm not making fun of you.I was playing a game.I was playing a game of my listeners.I was trying to.I was trying to build suspense, and it just didn't.Instead of building suspense, I built up the tensions between my fantastic.HR Is going to have to get involved.

HR Is Smooch, isn't it?

She doesn't care.

Smooch does not care.

Nope.

Who's got the better treats?Yeah.But anyway, in Black Christmas, he was the guy.He was the laughing cop.He was John Saxon's underling, whose big job was to laugh like a hyena during the whole fellatio bit, so.

God, what's this?Well, that's the number at the sorority house.Fellatio.Yeah, it's a new exchange.Fe.New exchange?Yeah.Fellatio, one of the girls that was in this afternoon, gave it to me.She gave it to you?

Yeah.Nash, I don't think you could pick your nose without written instructions.I know.Something dirty, ain't it?

One of my favorite parts of my favorite movie.So that's the cast.Great stuff.Great people.This is a funny episode because a lot of it doesn't work, but a lot of it does.But the thing that really stands out is that this is a Ryan centric episode, and he absolutely shines.

And there's no Jack this episode.

Nope.

We're Jack less.

Jack less.

Yeah.Jack is apparently in Singapore for this episode.Yeah.Trae had said something before we started recording.He's like, well, why would they do this?Why would they get rid of an actor for an episode that usually happens with prior commitments.

Yeah.

Or some kind of conflict.Like, I know they wrote Buffy out of an episode for, like.Or, like, 75% of an episode when she had to do Saturday Night Live.That one with the.

Oh, yeah.

But she turned into a rat.That was the way to get her out.

Jack didn't get turned to a rat.They just.Jack's visiting Singapore.

Singapore.And, you know, I figured that was code.And he's like, yes, I have to go to Singapore because my association with Singapore, it goes to cocktails.Singapore slang.So I picture Jackson is Sling somewhere.So I'm guessing he's in, like, Fire Island, Key West.Bear with something.

One of those places.

Well, I mean, initially, that was what I finally landed on.But initially I'm like, I'm surprised he didn't go to Bangkok because it's an oriental setting and the city doesn't know what the city is getting.But also, Bangkok.Bangkok.Did he go to Bangkok or did he go to Bangkok?

We've done this on other episodes.We can only do one night in Bangkok.So many episodes.

Well, well.And actually, Robey would be the one to go to Bangkok.

Who's the host?Who's driving this ship?I can bring it up anytime I want.

You're right.I take it back.I'm so sorry.

I'll stick it in the car.

I get my kicks above the neck.

You're gonna get one if you.

Okay, you two, simmer down.Do I have to, like, separate you two from each other?

Get smoochie, smoochie, smoochie.Okay, so let's get into this episode.So we're jackless, but it's okay because Ryan's actually in charge and he's doing fine with the steering.So we open at Ye Olde Timey Comic Book store.It's the 40th anniversary, actually, of Tales of the Undead, as we see on signs in the background.You know, Ferrus.Ferrus Invincible.He might be invisible, but he's 40 now.He's having a midlife crisis.Apparently, he's in a really bad mood this episode.

Yeah, he's having a rough, rough few days.

Or he's having a midlife crisis.

You can't know.He's having a mid.Un.Death crisis.

Can robots be undead?I don't know.

It's an automaton.So we have to talk about the defense.

Automaton.

We have fun here at.

Yeah.

Curious.

Curious stuff.But anyway, so we.We immediately meet our villain, the young cow played by Mr. David Hewlett with his.With his slick back, blonde Zach from Saved by the Bell hair, and really scary dummy teeth.

Yeah, they're awful.They're distracting.

I thought he Was cute.Then he smiled.I was like, oh yeah.

And then when he took his jacket off and he was wearing like this weird.Like it wasn't a sweater, it was kind of like a vest.But it really was.But it basically was like a quilted.He looked like a sad maxi.I'm not a sad Max.But I said mattress pad was what I meant to say.

Something is quilted.Something is wrong.

Well, he was.He was evil and very absorbent.

Both very important properties to have.

Something has caught his eye in this very.In this ye olde comic book shop.What has caught his eye, Mr. Trae Dean?

It is the first ever issue of Tales of the Undead which was actually autographed by Jay Star.

Well shit, why didn't he just buy it?

You should buy that because that is priceless.Or $25,000 depending.

Depending, depending on who's talking at auction.

And the auction's in a couple days.

Yeah, that, the real thing.

Sure is.Very first edition of Ferrus the Invincible, Tales of the Undead.A limited edition original signed by Jay Star himself.

I've never seen one like that.

I never.

I don't know, something about it.I mean just look at it.

Yep, I'm real proud of that.Only one of its kind in the world.Nobody's ever seen one like that.

I'd love to have that.

Yeah, I bet you would.One of the all time greats.You know, Ferrus is the first comic I ever started collecting.

Yeah, how much is it?

It's been conservatively appraised as priceless.

I'd kill for a comic like that.

You and every other comic book junkie in this town.I think it'll bring at least 25,000 at the auction.Uh huh.

And it's in one of those, you know, snazzy display cases.So you can't touch it.He's not allowed to look at it, can't flip through it.The guy who's running the place, Char Charlie, who looked like he stepped out of a.One of those.One of those 70s porns that weren't actually like playing in theaters, but the ones he actually had put the nickels in.Forget it.I'm the old person here.

Nickels.

Yeah, and he had cheek burns.His like cyber.

Back in my day you can watch a pornography show for a nickel.

Now we have the Internet and porn is free.Yeah, no, he definitely looks like he owns a comic book shop.He's overweight, he has strange facial hair.He seems extremely confident about everything he talks about like definite good comic book owner.

Oh yeah, yeah.So.And basically our evil Cal is just waiting.He's left to meander the shop because Ryan's come in and Ryan's stealing all the focus because it's his episode.He's like, everybody, out of my way.It's my show.

There it is. What do you think?

I don't believe it.

March 1947, volume one, issue one.Kills of the Undead.The first introduction of Ferrus the Invincible.

You know, that's my favorite.

What do you think I'm showing it to you for?I got it at an estate sale.They had no idea what they had.But that's not the most important thing.Take a look at who signed Jay Star.

Is that for real?

Yeah, sure it is.

How much you want for it?

Hey, I'm selling it at auction.You know, the big one the Briggs is holding day after tomorrow.

Stay right here.I'm gonna go home and bust open my piggy bank.

You got that much in your piggy bank?Man, I'm in the wrong business.

Yeah, so he's talking to the comic book store owner, and he's just doing.You know, he's buying some comic books and then just talking shop.And this is.

Wait, no, I want to talk about this.Because the comic book.The shop owner, rather, has set aside all of Ryan's comics, which means Ryan is a regular at the store and he gets issues pulled for him.We learned that he has this long standing love of comics, which has been referenced in other episodes, I'm pretty sure.But what we learn is Ryan has a long running relationship with this comic book store owner, and they're very friendly and that comics are a major interest for Ryan.

Yeah, we've had hints of this before in the past.Like, we've had little lines thrown at us here and there, insinuating that Ryan is interested in becoming a graphic artist.I think Lloyd had a snippy retort about it last time, which didn't make sense.I'm like, why would you say something so weird?Because we've never seen him draw anything.But this episode confirms it.Ryan wants to be a graphic artist, specifically drawing comic books.And, okay, he gets his comic books and he's gonna sell them illegally at Curious Goods.Cause that's what you do.I don't know what he's doing out front.He's loitering out front.Meanwhile, our friend Cal cannot.

I wrote about this.Soon as Ryan and the store owner turn around to walk back towards the register, the sketchy kid from the beginning of the episode swoops into the cape and starts, like, jamming at the lock with a lock pick.As soon as the store owner's back is turned, it was like, whoops.

Yeah, yeah.But he's been picking at the lock the whole time that Ryan's been talking to this guy Charlie.And as soon as Jack leaves, this guy, oh, Charlie spots him.Hey, hey, you can't get away from there.

And kid's like, what are you doing?

No, I gotta have it.And he smashes the case and he grabs the comic book.And what happens?

A really bad animated sequence.Or not animated, but I don't think.

It's animated, but it, it's illustrated.It's like it zooms out to go panel by panel through a comic book.So the.In the comic book, we establish the characters from the real scenes we have, and then it cuts back to the act.

Yeah.

Like the aftermath.

And the art is.

The art is bad.They did not pay a real comic book illustrator for this episode.

No, they didn't.But it's very reminiscent to one of the kill scenes in Freddy's Dead.

No.Nightmare five.Is it Nightmare five?

Yeah, it is five.I look.Yeah.Oh, I got school in my own store.

Don't test me on Freddy Krueger.

You're right, it was.It was the stupid video game Freddy's glove thing and the Nintendo Glove in Part six.That's right, that's right.

Yeah.Five was Mark with the Phantom prowler.

The kid kind of crinkles the comic book a bit.And then all of a sudden you get, you know, bang, bang, bang, bang.These kind of Batman, like, illustration things going through, showing that he's turned into this giant hulking robot.Can we talk about Ferrus?

Yeah, let's talk about him.

None of this worked.

No, they do this weird frame rate thing where they slow down the shots of Ferrus and they're trying to achieve the effect that the robot is so big, he's lumbering.But it's just, it's cheesy and it's bad.Like, I get that your.Your robot is made out of rubber foam.Cool, I get it.But, like, it was hard to watch.

It looks like a music video, like trying to be a music video with a moving, kind of like a strobe light, slow effect.

Very slow music videos, very well shot in the 1980s.So that's like yourself to a higher standard, bro.

He doesn't look menacing at all.And also, I mean, I get this from a design standpoint because.Because this comic book was written in 1947.1949.

Yeah, that makes sense.

I forget.But anyway, it was written in the 1940s, so we're not getting a super modern robot looking.We're getting Robbie the Robot from Lost in Space kind of looking thing.

Right.We're going atomic age here.Which is fine, but I would have rather we found a different way to shoot it because they repeat this effect every time we get Ferrus.And it's fast.

It is Kel.As Ferrus kills Charlie, the comic book shop, you know, strangles him.

Ah.

And throws him across the comic book shop breaks.Shit.Ryan has heard this because he's been loitering out front and showing off his members owning jacket to the kids in the block.Has everybody seen my new jacket?I just got it from wardrobe.Have you seen it?I'm really cool now.I'm hot now.

Mm.

And he gets rushing in.There's more slow Mo fighting.Ryan gets thrown across the room.And then the scene just ends.And this is one of these.There's lots of plot holes in this that don't make any sense.And this is one of them.

Ryan must have gotten a shot in because when we go back to the shop, he has a chunk of Ferrus armor.

Yeah, right.

It was on the ground.He picked it up off the ground.

I saw it.Sorry.Trying to defend you, Ryan.

Okay, so now we cut to curious goods and we see.And he's telling Micki what happened.And this is what I don't understand.Like, so.

Yes.

What did you tell the cops?Did you just leave?Yeah, it's a crazy.Your friend was just murdered and he's very blase about it.And Micki is just like, whatever, his friend was just murdered right in front of him.

Right.Because we've established the long standing relationship between him and the comic book shop owner.So he doesn't seem that distraught.No, but also like, what the fuck do you tell the cops?Exactly what you said.

Well, and what got me was that Micki does not believe him.It's like everything you've done, he tells you that this guy turned into a robot.And she's like, no, that didn't happen.

A comic book character beat you up. I mean, maybe a guy in a suit.

Look, I know how it sounds, but believe me, I also know how it felt.It wasn't a costume, it was Ferrus.

I have seen many strange things, but I'm not gonna believe that a comic.

Book came to life.

Are you kidding?This is exactly how it happened in the story.In the original issue of Ferrus, a kid gets a hold of this magic book which transforms him into this robot.When he changes, the book is absorbed into his body.

So you think that this is life imitating art?

We've seen stranger things happen around here.

Yeah.

That's just the thing you wouldn't believe.I understand.You need conflict for a scene.Find a different conflict.

Well, as well as.You know, we kind of talked about earlier before we were recording, like, well, you know, Micki's.Micki's going through some changes.She's got this newfound freedom.Like, she's got this new haircut, and she's got this, like, new look, and she's got this new attitude.She's got a little bit of D, and she ain't taking in the world.She's like, I'm turning the tables on everything.So remember when you guys let me.About the camera.Yeah.And the shadow monster.

Yeah.

I'm not gonna believe you now.See how you like it.I'm gonna make fun of your stupid comic books.Cause they're stupid.

Oh, no, no, no.They're not stupid, Patrick.They're tripe.

They're tripe.

Yeah.I love that when she says, oh, that's tripe, and she's like, oh, that's a mean thing I said.But then she gives this big side eye over to riot, like, oh, I said it.Oh, I'm so bad.

That's a pretentious word for a pretentious woman.

Not even trite.Tripe.Tripe.

Cause we're an America Town.

We're in America Town.We're in America, where everything's conveniently located to everything else.Because everything, as this episode goes along, everything that you need that would be happening in another city is happening right here in America Town.

Publishing company in America Town.

Everything's in walking distance here in America Town.

Agent, comic book author in America Town.

Yeah.

Not Stan Lee in America Town.

Yeah, exactly.

It's part of the curse.Whenever something cursed item happens, everyone in the orbit has to stay.Like, when the same 50 miles of America Town.

The cursed item shit comes with an ankle bracelet.Okay, time out for Micki's hair.

It's like 1980s Doris Day.It's beautiful and I love it.

Thank you, Ice.What did I write down here?I write down, it's a little bit Ann Margret.It's a little bit Jessica Rabbit, but it's like, old school but 80s at the same time, Right?

It's simultaneously both.It's gorgeous.Gorgeous, gorgeous.They don't do the tight ringlets she had before, so it still has a gorgeous Vol.It just turns into, like, cartoon Beautiful.

But both her and Ryan are dressed or styled really well.This episode, especially Ryan, he looks hot.

Because Jack's not around.Jack's not around.We have to be grown ups.

Yep, pretty much.

Fair enough.Yeah.

So she's gaslighting him the whole time.It's interesting to see that the term, this kind of thing.But Ryan, one of the things that's great about this episode is that you really get a look inside to what makes Ryan ticket.He really opens up about why comic books are important to him.And it's done very nicely and very honestly.

It's very subtle.He's very present, like nothing.Is he?I'm used to scenery being chewed in this series.And that doesn't happen with him this episode.

No, no.

Oh, one thing.They have the manifest.The manifest.

Ryan goes to the large house.That's right.Because Jay Star, even though the franchise was stolen from him, unduly still lives in giant house.

But I gotta say, they find this big, thick manifest that's like a foot long and 3ft wide or whatever, and they just.Two pages.Oh, there it is.

Oh.Because Uncle Lewis wouldn't know it's a comic book because he wouldn't care about that.But, oh, it's on a magazine that's right here.Oh, who'd he sell it to?And it's the full name of Jay Star, which I did not write down.Which sounds more Jewish, which is just like what Stan J. Staretsky.It's just like what Stan Lee did to make his name sound more marketable and less Jewish.

Yes.

And I believe before we started recording, we mentioned how a lot of comic book fans really liked this episode because it brought a lot of truth to the screen in how early comic book creators were treated and then cheated out of their franchises.

Yes.

Particularly.Particularly the Superman franchise from the publishing company of Siegel and Shuster.

Yeah.

Apparently just took it away from the people who created it.And they got.They got no money for any of it.

Brutal.

Yeah.

Yeah.So Jay Star has been a victim, but he finds out, hey, Jay Star lives right here in America town.I'm gonna go see him in a nice house.And it's Ray Walston.And he's old and he's in a nice house.He's supposed to be penniless.I'm like, okay, whatever, whatever, whatever.But it's fine.

But first, before we see Ray Walston, I gotta talk about the maid.

Maid.Homemade nurse.

Something looks just like Annie Wilkes from Misery.

She's got an Annie Wilkes going on.

Oh, big time.

Yeah, she has that going on.

Yeah.

This is one of the only things she did.

Yeah, she was good.

She was good.I think she was dubbed, though.I had a feeling, like, it's just.Anyway, not.It doesn't matter.

Some bad adr.But she was.She was present, but she was very.One note.I didn't love her.She was.I'm slightly elevated talking to you right now.No, you can't come in.And then later in this important scene.This is why I did it.

Like, she has to get past the formidable housekeeper.But what she does.And we have this lovely scene with.With Ray Walston, which I'll be playing most of the audio, which will clear all this up.And the way he gets past her is by yelling.I know who is.Well, I'm here to see Jay Zaretsky.He uses his.

He must be a fan.Let him in.Which is not a safe thing to say at all.But, okay, cool, whatever.

Yeah, but when you're like 98, fuck it, right?

Meet your fan.Welcome, Death.

YOLO.

What else am I gonna do?It's like, who knows who's gonna come see me?Kind of this.This cranky bitch.

Oh, and they have this big talk about how his.His franchise was stolen from him.And Ryan talks about, here's what your comics meant to me.I've always wanted to draw comics.You were my major inspiration.And then we learn about how the franchise was ripped away from Jay Star.

They stole, connived, wriggled their way to the top.The worms always know where the bodies are buried.You remember that, boy?

They got everything.

Except a few old issues which I had to sell and some original art that was never published.Censored scenes.Worth quite a lot to some people.I keep them in the basement.Insurance against a cold day.I can't even get down there anymore.Just as well.Pains me to look at them.

Must have been some pretty wild scenes to get cut from Ferrus.

Wild.Ferrus Ferrus was nothing.Nothing compared to some of the things I've seen.Frogs falling from the skies, people bursting into flames.It's a world of cruel miracles.Nothing surprises me.

But he talks about how he has, like, unpublished images from the comics in his basement.And he has them as, like, this insurance policy.And he said they were censored scenes from the comic.And he.It's.It's like something nefarious is already going on here.

And his demeanor, sort of when you first meet him, he's cheerful and fun.And it starts to get darker as he gets more upset about talking about his past.And he did a really good job of sort of just making the character turn and become more menacing through the whole conversation.

Yeah, you start to peel the layers away.And he's already spiteful, even if he weren't magic.Spiteful?

Yeah, well, he's a bitter old man.I mean, talk about.This must be terrible, especially to a fan.Hi.It's like, I'm your biggest fan and I'm penniless.Exactly.Thank you.But Ryan has to tell him, like, listen, you gotta understand something.Ferrus is real.

Could you stand another surprise?

I'm an old man with a bad heart, but try me.

Ferrus.He's come to life.

What are you saying, boy?

I know this is gonna seem impossible, but one of the original issues got cursed and someone's been using it to turn themselves into Ferrus.They even killed a guy named Charlie Evans downtown last night.

I know.Charlie Evans owns a comic book store.One of the best collections in the city.I've been in there several times.He's dead?

I'm afraid so, too.

And Ferrus killed him.

Yeah, I saw it.I know this sounds crazy.

Crazy.Know what you mean, boy.

I have no other authority to appeal to.I need you to know that the fictional thing you made that affected my youth is real.And I saw it kill someone.Thanks.

Yeah, And I did.He explained the comic book part of it.

It wasn't really explained, but Jay Star went, oh, that means that, like, because you can see he wants the comic.And learning that Ferrus is real has come apart rather come about in this conversation of, well, where is the comic?Oh, I knew where it was, but it's stolen.Oh, well, if someone murdered it, then that guy has the comic.Cool.Thanks for the info.

Oh, and he's very upset when he hears that it's Charlie.That's because he's like, I know Charlie.

Oh, yeah, I've been in this many times.

He's a good guy.Yeah.So now he's upset, and I. I'm thinking there's some plot holes here, and I just have to gloss them over by saying he's getting the call even though the book's not around.

Well, I'll say he has a stronger call, can reach him from further.Because he made it.

He made it.

That's fine.I'll round up to that.I don't mind.

Daddy, bring me home.

And I will say that when Ray Walston is talking, he does a lot of.When Ray Walston is talking, there's a whole lot of.Boy.

Hey, boy.

I was thinking of Phantasm but he's just hey Boy.

You think that's true?

Boy.

Boy crazy boy.Stay cool, boy.Hey boy.Got a rocket in your pocket.Crazy cool.

Go.Okay.

No, Everyone should watch American Astronaut.Learn another song that's in.Because a 1950s musical in space is for everyone.

Okay, but.

Da, da, da, da.But yeah, I got distracted thinking about the hey Boy.No, he's.He's like sinister.And you can see like.Like Bilbo wanting the ring back.Like, it starts to come out.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.I mean, he.Well, actually, I would go the other way and I'd say it's Gollum wants Precious back.

Okay.So, I mean, Bilbo wanting the ring back in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, not in the Hobbit.I'm sorry, that was unclear.Fake nerd, I'll fight.

No, no.When it comes to nerd, you win.

Yeah, I know.

I cowtail.But what's very important in this scene before we go is that we are introduced to Chekhov's award.Yes, Chekhov's comic book award.

They make sure you see that award in all angles in this scene.

Yeah, it's this award.It's the.It's like whatever.The Best Comic Creator Award from 1947, whatever the year that Ferrus was won.And he's very.He's like, yes, I got.I won the award.I thought this was gonna be my ticket to fame and riches and not just stares at me.And it's shaped like a murder weapon.

It's this giant wooden corkscrew thing.Except it's never round.It's all angles.

I'd say it was a lightning bolt.

Yeah.Upside down lightning bolt.Yeah.

I mean, I.It didn't register lightning bolt for me.I think just because it was a 3D zigzag, not a 2D zigzag.

Yeah, yeah.

It's nefarious and pointy.Nothing good will come of it.

Nope.It's a stabby, pointy thing.

Yeah, it's a very stabby looking award.

Yes, it is.

And as soon as they.As soon as you lay eyes, you're like someone that's gonna be sticking in somebody.

Mm.

We follow Jay Star to Charlie's Comic Book Shop.

Yes.

Yes.

He's doing some investigating of his own.And there's a woman in there who's very sad.She's like, I'm sorry, you can't be here.We're closed.

She has platinum hair and bangs and a pink sweater, but she's kind of.She does not belong in a comic Shop.

Well, she doesn't want to be there.She just doesn't look like she's happy and not sad, but just.She's just kind of bitchy.

She's probably the.The niece of the comic book store owner, much like Robey inherited from Uncle Lewis.

Yeah, I'm just a day player, but.But you wouldn't get this from the episode because they never say it, but on the IMDb they gave her character name and I guess this is a thing.We're Friday the 13 the series because last episode we had Robert Smith.This episode we have a cameo from Linda Evans.That's the character name.

American.

I'm sorry.I'm sorry, you can't be here.I'm very sad and I need to make some crystal light.I'm sorry, I can't.

Crystal well.

And she doesn't even say.She says, we're not open.But he's like, can I can old man Rush?She's like, yeah, sure.

For some reason, he's drawn to the raffle box, which I don't think we mentioned.There's a one of the.The booby prize at the beginning that Charlie offers to Cal, said, no, you can't buy the comic book, but hey, you're gonna end up this raffle and win a year's worth of comics.

Well, that's the comic book I want.

He's like, oh, you're not gonna get it, but go ahead and try.

Sign up for a different one.Like, he's.He's just trying to help him out.

Yeah.

And again, this is like a weird plot hole thing.Or you can just say he's called to it.Ray.I mean, yeah, Ray Walston just goes right to that raffle box with all the little slips of paper on.He opens it up, picks the exact right name.So now he has Cal's name and address.Somehow he knows where to go.I'm not gonna get into it too much.I also want to say that for this scene and for many of the rest of the scenes that Ray Walston is wearing, like this giant Newsies cap, it's like big and poofy.It's like the oldest cast of the newsboys from Gypsy.Like, if the show had kept running,.

We are letting people know when he was a child.

Extra, extra.Hey, look at the headlines.I'm 85 years old.But yeah.So he goes and confronts California and his gross apartment.He overhears him having a conversation with the head of Peerless Comics.Peerless Comics being the people that robbed him of Ferrus he's like, oh, I know that guy.What are you doing here?Oh, don't talk.But basically, they get into a big fight.And gal.Well, actually, you tell us, right, Trae, what happens?

He goes and demands the comic book back.And then in the.What's this?The squirrely little kid's name.

Cal.

Cal.And Cal actually is reluctant to kill him.He's like, no, come on.Just.Just don't make me do this.Don't make me do this.He's like, I don't want the comic book back.And Cal, very reluctantly, turns into Ferrus and kills him.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm sorry.No, no, no.Turns into Ferrus.And then Cal is killed with Chekhov's Award.

Huh?

And this is what I said at this point.I'm like, okay, so he just turned into Ferrus the Invincible and is dead.So he's not really that.

Yeah, but his secret weakness is wood.The ward is made out of untreated wood.

So he's the Earth, the Golden Age Green Lantern.

I didn't even get that.I didn't get that.I just thought it was like.Well, we just.We're not privy to information yet.That of all the people.Of all the people in the world.Who knows the Pharisees, one, his Achilles heel.It's the guy who created him.It's in an episode.It's in an edition that was never published where he killed Off Ferrus.

Yeah.

And apparently he killed Off Ferrus with something that looked like this.Yes, but we don't know that yet.Because I'm like, so this kid's dead and now.Now we've got a new villain.Jay Star.

Jay Star.

The real villain is Dr. Frankenstein.

And it was a nice little turnaround because, you know, you're thinking, Cal.Singing.Cal's gonna be the villain the whole time.And I wasn't sure how it was.Jay Star was gonna factor into it, but.Oh, nope, Cal's gone and Jay Star's gone.

Dark side, we cut back to.Curious goes.They're reading comic books to get information.

Yes.

This is where Micki calls it tripes.It's like, these things are really stupid.The animation, the drawing is terrible, the stories are tripe.What's the appeal?That's where you get the scene with.Where he reveals everything.

You know, Ryan, I really don't get this.

I mean, the artwork is poor, the stories are silly.

And even if there is some semblance Of logic in this, Ferrus, I mean, what's so special about it?

Well, when you're a kid, the whole World doesn't make a whole lot of sense.I mean, you're either too little or you're too young.You're not treated as a human.Everybody can kick you around any way they want to.But then you pick up a comic book and they got these heroes in there that nobody can kick around.They just can do anything, you know?So buy a comic, you read it, you're the hero.

Oh, but in that scene, there's one of the, like, I've noticed so little deliberate directorial imagery.There's a once.Once we get to the.The.Whatever the comic book office publisher is, there's.

We're not there yet

Oh, sorry.Nevermind.

No, because in the same scene, Ryan, like, they finished the conversation.Ryan's.And I'm done with my monologue.I'm gonna read the newspaper.He opens the newspaper and what's in there?Maya, it's your favorite thing in the world.

It's a headshot in that TV episode.And it's a closed mouth smile so we don't have to deal with the goofy teeth.

Because he didn't have it.Because it's his headshot.

Because it's his headshot, though.

No, it's an article telling about the murder of Kel.And Ryan says, that's the kids.That's the kid that turned into the robot.I'm sorry.Frequent guest of the show, Chris Diani.He's a robot enthusiast and he always pronounces it robot.And I realized I've been doing that the whole episode.

Not the whole episode.

You've gone in and out just like Micki's accent.

Just like Micki's accent.

It's the back room.This is what we do back here anyway.

The old in and out with an accent.

No time for the old and outlaw.Just here to read the meter.

So they go.Once again, on this show, they have this wonderful ability to just waltz into crime scenes.They just waltz into this kid who's just been murdered apartment.It's just open.There's no police date.

How do they get in?They just walk in.

Hello, I'm Lucy Bender, locksmith.Whatever.They get in there and they're poking around.Yeah.Apparently the kid kept a call log or something.There's a call log saying that he Talked to Carmine DiMaggio.Carmine DiMaggio, the head of Peerless Comics.Peerless Comics.Because he was trying to sell the comic back to them.

Right.

Because the kids need money.But it.He wasn't going to buy.But anyway, they traced that lead back to the office of Peerless Comics and they're confronting the head of the thing.There's more backstory about the whole stealing and stuff.We have another member's only jacket.

But the light on the wall at Peerless Comics looks like a fucking eyeball.

It does.

Like, I have never seen anything so deliberate in this series.And I was like, it's an eyeball.What is happening here is known.People will be here.

Yes.They don't get a lot of it.I mean, it's kind of a dead end because she's just saying, look, I don't have any information.We didn't steal anything.Everything was done completely legally.He signed everything over to us.I'm sorry if this old guy doesn't have any money.I'm playing the audio.

There are two sides to every story now.Starr sold his interest in Ferrus to my father in 1948 for a very handsome sum.A lot of money, even for today.Then he lost it in the land swindle, more of his classic business sense.You know what he tried to do 30 years ago?Kill Ferrus off.

I thought Ferrus couldn't be killed.

Oh, he came up with something.Who remembers?Had Ferrus the Invincible killed.Did the whole issue.Of course we didn't publish it.

The original pages.Do you still have some?

No, I don't know where they are.I couldn't care less.We own the rights and just so long as we don't publish, and I can assure you we never will, Ferrus is safe and alive in the hearts of millions of fans.

And that was interesting because that was like, oh, maybe Jay's, you know, because he said there's more than one side to the story.And I was like, oh, so Jay Star kind of is an unreliable narrator.

Yeah.

But we also find out that they actually have, like, oh, yeah, there's all the stuff that wasn't published.We own all of it.It's all down here somewhere.Yeah, there was an episode.Do you know what he did?He.The reason we took it away from him is he tried to kill off Ferrus.He wrote a comment that he tried to kill off Ferrus and we took the whole thing away from him and do you have it?Do you have it?No, we don't have it.Well, we have it, but you can't see it.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.They're like, well, we keep it in the basement.

Yeah.And we're not telling you what it is.That's classified.We're never going to tell anybody what that is.We're never going to publish it because Ferrus is going to live Forever.

Because once you kill a character in comics, they can never come back.

Never.

Sherlock Holmes.

So, yeah, they don't get much out of him.And so they leave.It's amazing.So, Brian.No, they both leave.Yeah, they both.

Yeah, they leave the building for a while.Yeah.

But unfortunately, someone else has shown up.

It's Jay Star.

Jay Star has got some business to do with Carmine.

And he's triggered because he's talking to Carmine.Sees, like, one of his old prints just on the easel, you know, in the middle of the office, and freaks out because that's one of his prints that was never published.

That picture.Where did you get it?

Oh, that.Well, I bought it.

The hell you bought it.It's mine.It's from my basement and I never sold it.

Gee, gee, Relax yourself.You want it, you stole it.Like everything else in my life, I'm going to get it all back.Relax.Don't get excited.

Remember your health.

I've learned a new trick, Carmine.One you can't steal.

He says he wants it back.The publisher tries to give it to him.Then he.Then Jay smashes it on the floor and it's like, well, now.Now you've ruined it.

Well, yeah, well, it's one of his basement comics.It's not supposed to be out.It's not even.Just like, they stole that one.That was in my house.

That was in my house.How did you get it?And he's like, well, I bought it.He was like, no, that was in my basement.

Yep.

Liar.

I'm gonna take out my comic.I'm gonna crinkle it some more.I don't know if.I still don't know if I know.They haven't said it yet in the show.And I don't know where I got it or if I made it up that these cursed items can't be destroyed or had the curses broken.And it's a good thing because this comic book gets mangled this whole episode.

Oh, yes.

Nobody treats this thing like a priceless work of art.

It's not in a sleeve.If it was really held by a comic book lover, it'd be in a plastic sleeve.

I tell ya, your fingers are ruining it.They're getting oil all over it.Acids.

They're just crumpling.They're like tight fisting it and just.

Yeah, yeah.So I think you have to fist the comic book to turn into Ferrus.I'm not sure how that works.

Yeah, yeah.So anyway, you have to have it in your hand.So anyway, we have another little Animated sequence.He turns into Ferrus and he has a very minor chase sequence.And this bothers me.I hate when people do this in movies.It's this weird loft space that they're in.And they have one of those oldie timey elevators or like industrial elevators that.

The freight elevator and the front closure.

Of it is wood with the gate that you have to pull down, but it's this gate that you have to pull down.The guy gets in the elevator and it's not going anywhere.I'm going.Do people not understand the sign that's outside of every elevator in case of being attacked by a giant robot?Take the stairs.What are you thinking?

So he gets into the elevator and then Ferrus punches through the front gate of the elevator to.In order to kill him.Then the elevator still goes down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a good elevator.

Whatever.

Well maintained.

Not that it's got a giant hole in the front of it.

No, well, it's got giant hole, but it's also got a really heavy robot in it now.So it's like, oh, God, it's too fat.Gotta go, gotta go.

I think he and Ryan have realized that something is going wrong.So they try to take the elevator, not the stairs, back up to the loft space.

That's the thing.

They just come back for no reason.There's not even just a pretense.

Their spidey sense goes off.

They came back because when this whole thing is.When the chase thing is happening.Carmine DiMaggio hit the fire alarm.

Okay, okay.

So the bell's going off.So they turn around and came back.That's why the cops show up.

I got this when the cops showed up, but okay, cool, yeah.

Cause the alarm is going on.So they came back and they see the dead body in the elevator.And Micki actually sees that there's a giant robot.

I believe you now.

Oh, that's what a giant robot looks like.Okay, yeah, totally believe you.

Thanks, Doubting Micki.So, yeah, so the cops show up.They.They run again.They're fleeing another crime scene.The cops show up, they shoot Ferrus, and Ferrus seems to fall down.Ryan's all God.Was like, he can't.He can't be dead.He's invisible.

But apparently it takes a while to lie down.Then the cops are like, cool, we've got this taken care of.Let's go home.

No, no, no, no, no.The cops all say they've all killed someone.Like, let's call this in.And they just kind of wander off.

Let's go get Some coffee and some bars.

Then Micki.Then run over and the cops are, okay, we've killed him.Let's all just go somewhere.Not here.

No.I realized I haven't spoken about Micki's outfit now that she's left the house.And I really like the Scully thing she has going on with the red, brown trench coat, and I just wanted to make that known.

She does have a.Yes.And her giant hula hoop brooch.

Yes.

It's the biggest brooch I've ever seen in my life.What is that?

It's a child's hula hoop.

Oh, okay.Answer my question.It's child's hula hoop on my account.All right.

Okay.Ryan's hair is styled differently.It's, like, down a little bit.And he's wearing darker clothes.And he looks.He looks really good.

He looks good.Yeah.

I don't know if it was one of our failed attempts, but Maya had said earlier he's dressing like an adult.

Yes.And his hair's styled differently.

I feel like we've said that.Yeah.

Yeah.

He's got lots of different looks.He has a silk scarf with his Members Only jacket, which elevates him from just being a Members Only jacket.He looks banging in a lot of these scenes.

Yeah.He's not the guy we met in the pilot who's styled like a teenager on a skateboard.

He's not the guy we saw last episode.

That's why wearing Capri pants with no.

Socks, they really paid attention to.It looks like it was a conscious decision to have him look like an adult this episode.

I agree.

Meanwhile.Meanwhile, Jay Star is pissed off because he knows somebody's been going through his.

Private collection, his secret stash of insurance.

Comics in his basement for that rainy day.Well, it's raining.He wants those damn things back.And it's her.What happened?Well, who's been.

What.

What happened with that comic that the.

Nurse homemade maid lady sold?The secret issue.

Mrs. Forbes.J'accuse!

J'accuse!

And she goes off on them.

She does.She's like, I fucking hate you.You think this has been fun?Wiping your ass for the past God knows how many years?Listen to you whine.Look at you in that stupid hat.Oh, tell me again about the fun days working with Bill Bixby on My Favorite Martian.I don't care.

I don't really understand why she's mad.I don't understand if it's a more familial or professional relationship.Like.

Like.

Like we've said a couple times, this episode is, like, full of plot holes.

Oh yeah.

But she's, she's not.But she's not repentant about being hard about what she did.She's not upset.She's just like you.I hate you.I've been doing this for years.I've been telling.They're just sitting down here.They're just rotting, waiting for you to die.You're going to.Somebody's going to wind up selling.And basically her excuse is that she.She's like, I didn't keep any of the money.It's going to keep you.

Yeah.

Which is in this house.

Such an odd.Okay.Yeah, yeah.

Which I get.But I don't fully believe it.But whatever.But she.But doesn't matter.It doesn't matter.He's.He's, he's, he's non plussed.

Yeah.

By her place for mercy.

And he's like, well, what if you were to stay?And she just like, what?

I don't mind.Why don't you go over there and turn your back for a moment.Don't mind me.

I'm gonna crinkle this comic book here that has no resale value.

Yeah.And Kirkula's comic turn into a robot and kill your ass.Bis.Did you catch.

Yes.

The back of her head exploding.

It was.He barely pushes her against the wall and blood sprays out from behind her head and she falls down and it's like leaving a giant trail of blood.

They didn't have time to reset the squib.Okay.

It was great.I mean had it been shot at regular motion, it probably would have looked great.But the fact that they had some gore in this episode that you actually see splatting out of a wound.That doesn't happen on the show.

Nope.No, nope.

I was happy.I was happy too.

But it was just like he taps her and she's like.She's like a tick that's just overfed and he just kicks her.She just.

Blah.

Also, also, did you notice the swinging psycho light?Yeah, I did.

That was a neat little touch.

Somebody hit the overhead light so it's swinging the whole scene.Like the basement psycho made me happy.

Well, one thing I wrote this is actually for a Friday the 13th episode.It has a high body count.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which is good.

Is that.

Well, you got six dead five cal.

Two, three.The guy who don't have a name.It's in the car.Yeah, I think.

Five, five plus Jay Star.

Oh, I've missed Comic guy.It's six.You're right, it's six.

Yeah.

But yeah, I forgot, I forgot when we were back in the office, that publishing guy said, well, why forget?Who tips him off?That is that that lost comic has gone to the auction house.

Is that Micki and Ryan or do.

They just kind of figure it out that there.Hey, there's a comic.

Somebody tipped them off.Somebody tipped them off.Somebody's like, well, if it's going to be anywhere, it'll probably be there.

Jack.Oh, no, he's not here.

No.Oh, wasn't that a separate guy?Don't they, like, try to go to the auction guy?And he's like, oh, well, no, no,.

We go to the auction house is the gay auctioneer.And I'm very happy with it.Anyway, whatever.They figure out that whatever this lost episode, this lost edition of the comic, which contains the information on how Kill Ferrus is out on loose somewhere.And if it's going to show up anywhere, it's going to show up at the big auction, which of course is happening in America Town.Oh, and the person who is to.

Bring it to the auction house has not yet done so.

Yes, yes.

So they're, they're, they're staking out the.

Auction house and there's a car parked there.

Like, no, no, no, no, no.I'm sorry, I'm sorry.Because they do have to meet the gate, the gay auctioneer first.

I'm sorry, sir, the auction isn't until tomorrow.

This guy was like, oh, hello, how can I help you guys?And he's the one who tells him, like, yes, it's on the docket, but it's not here yet.And they ask, well, who's bringing, like, I'm sorry, that's confidential.Boss should be hearing him at.And then when he walks off camera, he takes this huge cross, like the most painfully directed cross.He crosses in front of camera, stops dead center and yells at somebody off stage.No, no, no, headed to the left.

He had that one scene.He's making the most of it.

He's trying.

Oh, yeah, he's acting more than you.

How very dare you?

But I love this.

How very dare you in general, get out of work.Actually, you say that to how dare you?

I just meant in general.He's like, I'm acting more than you.To all the other actors in the show.

He sees, anything you can do, I can do better.

It's shit.Linda Evans.This is how you do a day player role.Thank you.

But I love the scene where they find the car.It's just.

Yeah, they're staking out the auction house.And there's a car.

And they're like, oh.Micki's like, should we check?He's like, no.Maybe some people are making out.Leave them alone.

And in another episode, he would have been like, hey, Micki.She would have been like, stop.We're related.

But now he's big boy Ryan.And so they get out of the car, and the shot moves a little bit to the right, and there's a body hanging out of the front windshield.

Massacre.There's a massacre in the front windshield that they didn't notice before?

No, they move, like, literally, like, 10ft to one direction, and there's a stead body hanging out.

That's what's wrong.That's what's wrong.The car.The windshield's broken.

We're perpendicular to the car, so we can see the length of it.Maybe this one's making out.We walk a little bit.Oh, there's a dead body hanging out of it.Yeah.

And it's the guy who is bringing the comic.And so they're like, oh.Oh, shit.There's all the.Of course, conveniently, all the shit that he was bringing the office to the auction is strewn all over the hood of the car.So they go digging through it, looking for the lost issue, and it ain't there.But what is there, guys?

Oh, it's a sign or a bag or something that has a person's name on it.

It's a nitroglycerin pill.

Oh, yeah, that.

That, that, that.

Yeah.

But Jay Star's heart condition.So now.Now Ryan knows, .

because we've also set Up Chekhov's glycerin pills earlier in the episode.

We did.

We did set that up.We had a very meaningful shot of.

The prescription bottle, and he keeps taking it.

So now he knows his idol is now his enemy.

Mm.

I have the turntables.

Never meet your heroes.They may turn out to be killer robots.

Yeah.

Yes.And now we're back for the final showdown at Jay's house.

Yeah.

And they're trying to figure out, how are we gonna get in?How are we gonna get in?And Micki's like, okay, I got this.

Oh, Lucy Bender.

I was really hoping she ring.Because she goes and she rings the doorbell while Ryan's sneaking in the back.But you be like, hello, I'm Lucy Bender, Stranded motorist.Can I please use a telephone?

Hey, Brad, what's white?Sells hamburgers.

Yes, it's raining.

Hey, Riff Raff, say hello in Spanish.Yeah.No, she.She comes in and she's like, I am good Friends with the young man you spoke to earlier, and I just need to talk to you.And he's like, what's your favorite fruit drink?

Hi-C!Sorry.We're back.Okay.We're crossing genres everywhere.

Okay.

Yeah.She gets.She distracts Jay enough that Brian can get in.I don't remember what happened.

They get in and he's.He's setting comics on fire in his fireplace.And we know.

Oh, God.Oh, God.That's what I wrote down.I'm like, okay, I'm gonna take care of this problem.I'm gonna make sure that no one ever discusses my secret by burning all of these papers one at a time,.

Slowly, just like how ninjas attack.

One at a time, making sure this one piece is completely burned into complete ashes and blown away before I put on the next piece of important information that the world can never know.There's a time limit cracking down on me.That kind of bullshit.

Yeah, Leave it alone.It's mine.Don't you touch it.It was my creation and they stole it from me.And what did I get for it?Nothing.I'm telling you, you'll get back there.You lose it.No, no, don't touch that.Don't touch it.You break into my house, you steal my revenge.They owe me.They stole Ferrus from me.

So Micki and Ryan are in there.There's some kind of kerfuffle.Ryan gets a lot of the pieces out of the fire.Jay Star turns into Ferrus.He attacks Robey with a fire.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Time out.

Time out.

Yes, time out.Comic book Robey was the funniest illustration.

It was so bad.

Her lips were so huge.

Her lips were like ducks.It was amazing.

It was just so bad.

This actually, I have a note.I have a note here.And I would hold it up to the camera if we were doing video, but I wrote, art is.And I underlined, so bad, it's terrible.

It's also subjective.And beauty is in the eye of the beholder.And I thought it was gorgeous, so.

That shit was ugly.

Her hair was ridiculous.But then Ryan didn't look like Ryan.Jay Star didn't look like Jay Star.Whatever.It's fine.

No, Some PA got tasked with making that comic book.

Oh, yeah.

Before anything was cast.

Oh, yeah,.

It was bad.But, yeah.Ryan sees enough of the flaming comic book pages to realize Ferrus Achilles heel grabs Chekhov's award and stabs Jay Star and he's dead.Yep.

My notes now say, yay, Stab, old man.

Once again, I go, okay, so we're At a crime scene.You just killed someone.Do you just leave?

Wait, no, we gotta get out.We gotta get out.His dying words.He looks right in the eye and he says, how does it feel to be a hero?

I was like, is he mocking him or is he happy that.

Right, like, is he happy that he's finally no longer evil anymore because he's dying or is he mocking him?It's unclear.We don't.

Or the whole concept of a hero.You can't be a hero without killing your darlings or something.I don't know.

I don't know.I don't think there are answers to.

Well, there's that whole thing about, you know, that whole teacher student psych.Eventually the student will come and slay the teacher.

Yes.All the Liam Neeson roles.And then we go back to the house.We don't deal with the cops, we don't deal with the bodies.

And also we brought home the murder weapon.

We brought home the murder weapon.And the headshot Micki just has a portrait of him.He's like, oh, yeah, I was at the comic shop.Like, what the fuck, Micki?

She hands him this guy.Well, because he's very upset, you know, whatever he's.Cause he's just.

He just had to murder his hero.It's all of him, murderous hero.

So he doesn't want to read comic books.

She wants.

She's asking for the next issue now.She's hooked on comic books.

Yeah.Oh, no, first she has to seduce him.

No, no, no.The seduction actually happens after the headshot mocking.Okay, so we do the headshot mocking.

Hold on, hold on.I wanna.Before we get to the headshot, I just wanna say, like, Ryan is distraught and doesn't wanna recommend, but she wants to find out what's happening in the next issue.But he's inconsolable.And she hands him a framed picture of Jay Star and she says, here, I got this out of the.I tore it out of the comic book for you.Here, take this picture of the person you just murdered.

Look at him every day so you know what you've done.

Uh huh.

And you can put it right here next to this comic book award that you murdered him with that we'll never see in any episode ever again.No matter when we come back to Ryan's room, that shit is not gonna be there.

And then we start talking about different qualities of different styles of art drawings.And then Micki goes, do you want to come upstairs and see my etchings?

You know, when I was a kid, he was All I ever really wanted to be.I didn't want to be a hero.I just wanted to be an artist.I used to copy his drawings.Did I ever show you any of my drawings?

What is this, a line?

Want to come upstairs and see my etchings?

No, I'm much more sophisticated than that.

Oh, right.

No, really.Besides, I never understood what was so great about etching.Etchings.

Now, number one, Spider Man.

That's something.

And she does a sexy pose.

And he's like, it's a sexy pose.And Ryan tries to be like, okay, here's why I never got etchings.Here's why I like the art style.I do.Why are you like this?Yeah.

Total 180.

Yeah.

Oh, no.The end credits freeze frames on him winking where it looks like winking, or.

Was he having a stroke?

I couldn't tell.

We may never know.

It was like, ah.Mouth half open, one eye squeezed shut.

Yeah.

It was a strange image to end on.

Blinking is hard.

Yeah.Winking even more so.

Yeah.No.

And, okay, this episode left me with a question.I wrote my notes.How do these items get cursed?How do these items get cursed?

Well, I think we talked about it last time.We think that possibly it's a bespoke thing.Uncle Lewis cursed them.

Okay, so he gets items, and he curses them once they come into a store.Huh?

Or maybe he.You know, when he.When people are buying stuff, he figures out, like, what they're.Okay.

He.He.

Maybe he knows the call, and he's like, and I'm gonna curse that.That'll be the perfect.

And here's what will fit in your lifestyle as a physical object.And here's a curse that works for you.

Okay.

Yeah.

I was thinking they got cursed before they got to him, and they just.

Model.Hey, model, have I got a curse for you.

Oh, God.

It's evil.It's bad.Bad.

Guess what?And so are you.

What I want to say, there are moments in this where the dialogue crackles.Ray Walston has a couple of fantastic lines.

Oh, and his big first scene with Ryan is electric.It's tense and it's strange, and you don't fully know why.And it's really lovely.

The worms always know where the bodies are buried.

Okay, I brought that in my notes.And I am upset that you got to say it and I didn't, but whatever.

Well, I'm sorry, Maya, but the world is full of cruel miracles.

Well, it was a good conversation because I don't know where it's going to lead To.I was actually like, okay, so where it's like, how much does he know what's going on?

And then they make out.

Yeah.But I have to say, like, I feel like we took a real step back and overall quality with this episode.I got confused.The plot holes confused me, and then, like, the direction was weird and unclear.I just.I had a hard time with it.

Yeah.If it was not for fantastic performances from Ryan, from John De La Matte, and Ray Walston, this episode would have been, like, a real wash for me.The curse doesn't work.

The cross does not work.It doesn't make any sense.

Then again, every review I've read of it, people love it.People say.And now the show finally came into its own.We figured that out a couple episodes.But whatever.People love this one.Hey, what?What?Whatever you like, it's all good.If you like it, great.

But I know.I know the people slightly closer to my age listening.There's an episode of are you afraid of the dark?Called the the ghostly Grinner, which, it feels like executes this very successfully on a villain who is real in a comic book and cannot be defeated by normal means and has to be killed by the means he is defeated by in the comic book.It's obvious from the writing of that episode that it's supposed to be the Joker, but they dress him up like a jester so no one gets sued.So I feel like this episode walked so that episode could run, because that episode, like, really upset me for months.

I'll look it up.A lot of them are online, so I'll check that out.All right, I think we've done it.I don't have many final thoughts on this one.

One?

Yeah, I gave you all my thoughts.

Yeah, me too.

We have mine.

Patrons.We had technical problems.It took three times to get this thing started, so we kind of burnt out before going.So I apologize for this one.But, hey, that was a good one.

We did it three times because we love you.

Yes.

But also, I'm done now, so.

Even.

Though it's like an hour and 40.

Minutes, I don't know why.I don't know why.Just because.Just, you know, not like there's really stressful things going on every fucking day.It's time to have fun.I'm just like, I don't want to.

My dinner arrived an hour and a half ago, so I'm gonna go eat it.

I haven't gotten mine yet, so that's my other thing.I ran out of time anyway.They don't care.The patrons are like, get the funny stuff.Say something funny.Do more show too.

I have to make my content.No, I know you're lovely.I know none of you were yelling at us from afar.

Oh, all right.And if you are, oh, well, I probably deserved it.We do deserve it.We do deserve it.We're punchy and we're tired.Thank you for joining us once again here at the very Curious curio shop.What's next up on the docket?Oh, gosh.Is it Scarecrow?

Oh.

Oh, no, it's not.Maya.

Maya.

Maya, Maya, Maya, Maya, Maya, Maya, Maya, Maya, Maya, Maya, Maya, Maya, Maya.

Sorry, we're in a closed circuit of punchiness.We're never gonna get up.What is it, Patrick?

Okay, ding dong Patrick from the future here.I'm about to tell Maya an incredible lie.I completely give her the wrong episode that we're covering.Next time, forget what I was so excited to say, because the truth is, next time we're going to be covering Scarecrow, which is widely considered to be one of the scariest episodes ever, about a cursed scarecrow that's terrorizing the farmland of America town and stealing people's heads.Chop chop, ding dong.Back to the show.

Cool.

I look forward to it.

Ding dong Patrick from the present day again, as many of you know, this particular episode of Damn You Uncle Lewis was recorded several years ago in real time over on Patreon.We're all the way up in season three.So all of the news that I'm about to spout in this episode is no longer valid.But there is some fun new information for you because right now, you can finally get that.Right now you can get the damn you, Uncle Lewis logo designed by the fabulous Casey Loman and evil goods design on a T shirt, hat, mug, phone, case, pretty much anything you want at the official Scream Queens Potterverse tea public store.You can buy the damn Lewis logo, you can buy the Scream Queens logo, or you can buy any other carefully selected prints that I've picked out that I think really embody the Scream Queen Potterverse message, which is a little bit flirty, a little bit freaky, a little bit scary, and a whole lot of cats.But you can find the store at teepublic.com/stores/screamqueenz, which is of course, with a zoo where you can see all the designs I picked out for you.Once again, that teepublic.com/stores/screamqueenzIf you didn't catch that, the links are down there in the show notes, help support independent podcasting and look fabulous while you're doing it.Ding dong.Back to the show.

I want to thank you to composer Sam Haynes for our theme song Sinister, the Dark Wave remakes.Check out all of his terrifying tunes@bandcamp.com.

Yeah, it's gonna be a good one for November.So we'll see everybody next month.Thank you all for supporting the show.Thank you all for staying.Fabulous was.And from everybody here at the very Curious Curious shop, we tip our house to new.We say a very good night, sleep well and one more thing before we go.Damn you Uncle uNCLE.And now for a little something that wound up on the cutting room floor of this episode of Damn you Uncle Lewis.I went to my friend Sandy's house in Connecticut.She, I went to college with her.I did.She was my hava and fiddler on the roof and things like that.And she had just finished a production of A Christmas Carol.And I was a professional Bob Cratchit.I did like nine different tours of nine different productions of Christmas Carol.Always playing Bob Cratchit.Bob Cratchit.Bob Cratchit and Jesus were my 90s roles.Back and forth, back for different superstar, Superstar, Godspell, Patch Gospel.Those are the things.I just went back and forth.I'm talking to this guy who played Bob Cratchit in their community theater production of A Christmas Carol.And he was a lovely guy.He was lovely.It's 2 o' clock in the morning.So I've had plenty of cocktail, plenty of cocktails.And I'm also the party gay.

You gotta have a party gay.

I know.And you know, Sandy had said that I'd done the tour 10 times.He said it's really hard sometimes to just not come across as saccharine playing Bob Cratchit.I said, it is really hard.I mentioned he's like, well, let's we bring an actor secret.He didn't know what I was talking about.And I was like, well, here's the thing.Bob Cratchit, he gets shit on the whole show.Everything bad happens to me.He's underpaid, his boss hates him him, his family's starving, his kids dying, but yet he's always happy with life.So I figured, what?What is it?What is it that makes Bob so positive is that I realized that Bob Cratchit is the biggest dick in London and he knows it.

Real like Gary Girget.

You can have to pay me, but you know my dick's bigger than yours.

Way Mrs. Cratchit knows it.That's why there's so many children.

That's why my son Lim.

Oh, that's lovely.

But this created the answer.Turns out he's a deacon.

Oops.Oh, well, I'm sure there's nothing he hasn't heard.If he's a deacon.

Well, you know what?That bit he never since he never occurred to him.Even when the kid dies.

Private kids.

Like I'm sad, but.

Hey, Stop.Oh, boy.That's fantastic.What a New Year's.

That's the theater.

That's really great.

Thank you.

That's funny.Yeah.

Sa.